At my wits end with toddlers diet

[ReturnofSaturn]

My 15 month old son is a ridiculously fussy eater. It's actually getting ridiculous what he will actually eat.

For lunch today I made him a sandwich. Hummus with some chicken. (Not that it actually matters what was in it as as soon as it was put down in front of him he started crying without even having touched it)

He has now been screaming his head off for 30mins straight about lunch as I haven't made him anything else.
I feel awful, but it's got to the point where it's absolutely ridiculous and I need to draw the line somewhere.

He also won't eat any fruit or vegetables whatsoever. He will only eat banana if I blend it up and feed it to him like a pudding.

What he will eat:
Sausage roll
Toast
Cheese/meat pasty
Pizza/chips/potato waffle etc
Lasagne
Yoghurts
Biscuits

Help!? He's my only child and I'm exhausted with his now!

For those saying just go with it etc won't I then be making a rod for my own back and end up having a lifetime of this fussy eating?

No you won’t be making a rod for you own back. He is a baby, I can promise he won’t still only be eating toast when he turns 10.

I also find the more you force the must eat this and that, the more most dc resist tbh.

30 minutes of leaving a child to cry and insist he eats a hummus sandwich is madness, just give him some toast.

As well as the fact that had I cried in front of a type of food for 30 minutes, chances are I'm not trying it in future. Having it plonked down, looking at it, having it taken away, maybe mum pops a bit in her mouth and says, "yum" I might try it in future.

I find growing stuff helps. Strawberries in a pot, basil on the windowsill, DD would eat anything she had grown.

The thing is he's not even trying the stuff.

If what I put down in front of him is not something from his tiny list of approved foods then he won't even touch it or pick it up.

And Naboo I didn't just give him something else straightaway as that is what the health visitor advised me to do. She said she wouldn't make him something else if he didn't eat it.
I took her advice as obviously I expect her to know more on this subject than me.

" I just gave him in and made him so toast ""

Definition of making a rod for your own back.

WHY did you do that? Are you always going to give in? If you are, you might as well serve whatever he wants whenever wants it and resign yourself to having a NuggetChild, because he's going to get it anyway and folding immediately will at least save your ears.

Colditz I gave in today as I had to go up to the hospital with him to see my mum and couldn't have him kicking off there unfortunately.

I struggle too as he's so young and I can't bear the thought of him being so hungry that he's screaming.

He's only 15 months old, I don't think 'this or nothing' is appropriate (you're just going to end up with a hungry and grumpy kid to deal with) but equally I don't think insisting he has a particular meal then giving in to his crying is appropriate either as that will make a rod.

Just give him something he likes, say lasagne, then add something else on the side. If he eats it - great, if he doesn't then so what? Just keep doing that. My dd sometimes ends up with odd combinations. She doesn't like curry so I might give her chips, fishfingers and peas (which she'll definitely eat) but add a couple of table spoons of rice and curry on the side. She still won't eat curry but she will now eat the rice, something she hadn't eaten for two years.

Fwiw I don't think his list of acceptable food is that bad. There's scope to make it more nutritious such as making hidden n veg sauce for the lasagne and pizza, sweet potato fries perhaps? He might like pinwheel if he likes sausage rolls and pizza. Pineapple on the pizza? Homemade pizza isn't a bad meal to eat.

Pick your battles.
Try and make pizza sauce with hidden veg. Use in the lasagne too and purée fruit and add to natural yogurt.
Offer small amount of new foods alongside what they will eat , reward chart but no fuss if not tried.
It is a phase and it does pass

Personally I agree with picking your battles. My ds went through a very fussy stage - I just rode with it at that age . Slowly slowly he started broadening his diet .... as he got older it was all about what the other kids were eating at nursery. Soon he was eating whatever was on the menu .... when they become more verbal it's easier.
I said things like " grandma made this pie" as i knew he had eaten it there. Or " Nanny grew these carrots in her garden " ... all little white lies !
Now he is 5 he eats most things with a little encouragement like eggs make you strong and yoghurt is good for your bones - all true !

Thank you to the last few posters, that's all very helpful.

Its phase. He will eventually eat other things and then go on strike again. I used to get so stressed out about it. I used to be terrified of my DS having too much sugar as well. I learnt to chill out. Dont get me wrong, he eats reasonably healthy but is going through a fussy phase. I always offer him fruit after his dinner and often yogurt. After his lunch he might have a rice cake with peanut butter.
As previous posters have said, make a batch of veg sauce for lasagne and pizza and freeze it. You can get pizza bases from aldi for about 70p and get him to help make pizza with you. Make your own chicken nuggets etc.
We eat as a family most evenings but there are also nights where he will eat in front of the TV.
I never use the threat of, no pudding if you dont eat any dinner because I dont want him to think that you have to polish off every meal or that fruit is a treat.
We've been back and forth with fussy eating. My only advice is to not worry. X

Ps a new favourite here is a banana omelette/pancake two eggs with mashed banana.

Will he go for the thing where you eat some (very loudly and enthusiastically) if he feeds it to you, and then you feed some to him?

DD 16mo doesn't like sandwiches right nowmixed texturesbut will eat the components. Have you tried that?

I blend a lot of stuff into cheesy mashed potatoes. Fish, veg, etc. Saves stress.

Look up arfid and sed. It’s harder to treat in adulthood.

I found nursery helped with my sons eating. He was a terrible eater but having meals at nursery with other children helped alot he also tried more things that he wouldnt ever try at home.
I also found at playgroup he would eat and try more things.
I understand its really difficult op. You will get there keep offering him what you want him to have hopefully he will pick it up.

Aidel msg

Aidelmaidel
No he won't eat components either.

My son would rather go hungry than eat something he doesn't like. His key worker at nursery agrees with me as there are foods on the nursery menu that he doesn't like so he just goes hungry. He is now 4 and slowly became getting him to increase what he eats. But it is slow. Ti be honest I would rather have a fed child than a starved one. And yes he will starve himself.

OP they go through phases. He will live . his tastes will broaden.

I don't believe in forcing children quite honestly. Even on tight budgets people can be more creative with food. I'd Go with his flow and when it's not battle ground anymore...

Change things up. Add extra item in... Make lasgange with home made veg ...

Take the stress out of it all. Feed him what he will eat for meals.

Leave out healthy options everywhere. Play with real food and make sure you eat in front of him at the same time he's eating. Cook together. Let him get super messy. If you can have fun with food in a relaxed way then he will learn not to associate it with anxiety and upset.
If you can eat with other children then peer pressure even at such a young age is very strong.

His diet is lacking a bit in fruit and veg but he's eating carbs, fats and protein, it's really not awful!

He's a baby. Keep offering him stuff, but give him something he'll eat also. Don't make mealtimes stressful, be calm and neutral. They all go through phases. My ds (2.6) hasn't eaten a banana for over a year, has gagged and spat it out. Last week, he ate two in a day "mmm this is nice" and now apparently he decides daily whether they're nectar of the gods or poisen.

Does he like dipping things in sauce? My DD (now 31m) would eat sliced chicken or ham if I gave her mayo to dip it in. Bread sticks dipped in hummus or cream cheese. Roast potatoes with ketchup etc.

She is still quite fussy and knows what she likes. I tend to give her things with hidden veg for lunch eg soup (again, she loves dipping toast in it), spaghetti hoops with a vegetable sauce, Spanish omelette with spinach in.

Then for tea she has the same as us, I make sure there is at least one thing she likes on the plate, and if she's had veg for lunch I don't need to have any sort of battle about whether she eats her greens at tea. Veg has to be separated out ie she likes cucumber and carrot, but cucumber with carrot touching it is not acceptable!

Luckily she has always loved all fruit. Veg (and protein sometimes) are the issues.

I agree with MrsTerry Pratchett - some children will respond to the colditz approach and some would just starve themselves, my eldest among them. I think the approach used by SimonJT is excellent, though he doesn't say what age his child was at the time. But your son's diet is much more varied than my eldest's was at the same age. We gradually expanded his sensory comfort zones and now he eats a very balanced and pretty varied diet and has done since he was about 4. (Should add he has SN, process will probably be quicker for your DS and anyway is most likely just a developmental phase.) Try not to worry!

Act as though you don't care what he eats but keep offering new foods alongside his range and it will change. Toddlers always change.

Letting him 'help' make food or grow food, allowing picking and nibbling massively helps take the pressure off and allows new foods to be introduced.

Sorry but I don't agree with colditz.

Omg I have a 15 month old too and I can not imagine leaving her to cry with hunger for 30 minutes, I’m sorry but that is just awful!

In fact she didn’t eat her dinner tonight, something which she’s had before and I know she likes but she just spat it out or flat out refused other bits and tried to get out of her high chair, so I got her out and let her go off to play while we ate, but she came back whining because she was obviously hungry, she refused her food again so I made her mashed weetabix and banana and she wolfed the lot - sometimes they might just not fancy something, sometimes they just want something familiar and comforting, yes it’s annoying when they won’t eat perfectly good food (although the dog is very grateful) but you still have to feed them! He’s just a baby for goodness sake!