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Original poster

Never get any "likes" from females on my pics on social media :/

86 replies

Lottaberry · 23/04/2019 20:51

Hi all,
I have 250+ people on my social media. 95% of them who I know in real life and of the females, I know for sure have never had any fights etc. with them - wouldn't call any of them best friends but at the very least nice acquaintances...

yet when I post a pic up, not even 1 girl would ever click "like".. I know I can't really expect it when we're not close friends but it's only a like, not a financial loan and I feel generally, people aren't super selective on likes (i.e don't just reserve them for very close friends/family)

I have occasionally liked their pics as well yet never get one back.

On one of the social media, I can see exactly who has viewed my pic (by clicking on it for a close up) and often, it's more than 45 people (with ~50% women) but never ever even 1 like..

I'd say I'm slightly above average looking (based on what I'm told.. by men mostly though :( ) but I know I'm definitely not a 10 out of 10. I've seen girls who are very plain to girls who are amazingly beautiful get plenty of likes from girls so I wouldn't think it's an envy thing but it is disheartening to not ever even get 1...

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 24/04/2019 01:18

Women, not girls, unless you are actually all children. Let's not even get started on "females"...

If you post lots of selfies I would imagine people are simply uninterested in those, as they aren't very interesting to other people. Maybe try posting something without a photo of yourself, where you talk about something meaningful and see what response you get.

FiremanKing · 24/04/2019 01:34

Op is in her mid 20s, not a teenager.

cantwait2bfree · 24/04/2019 01:38

Time to deactivate and concentrate on real life??

HeddaGarbled · 24/04/2019 01:38

Ah, you don’t understand how women use social media. It’s like when you’re with women in real life and you say something nice to them, or laugh, sympathise, nod, or make supportive comments. You don’t do that because you think they look nice, do you? Or even because you always agree with what they are saying. You do it to facilitate the relationship, to stay friends or make friends. It’s a transaction: I’ll be nice to you because I want you to be my friend or because I care about your feelings.

If you want ‘likes’ from women you need to be proper friends first, or they need to want to be friends with you. You could post a picture of yourself looking like a sack of shit and if your friends like you they will ‘like’ you.

So, if you’re not getting any ‘likes’ it’s because they don’t like you.

It’s not acceptable to mark women’s appearances out of 10. It’s not acceptable when men do it. It’s pathetic when women do it.

You are more, much more, than what you look like. You have an intellect, a personality, interests, skills & talents, a career, a sense of humour, opinions, experiences. If you post about those, people might be interested. Alternatively, invest your time and effort into making real friends, and you might find they start to like and ‘like’ you.

Pickleandparty · 24/04/2019 01:41

Yeh exactly if adults are acting like this then what are teenagers acting like?!?

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2019 01:56

The irony of asking on here, a place that has rounding rejected a Like button for years. We hate the likes.

amandacarnet · 24/04/2019 02:25

I never like photos on Facebook put up just of someone looking attractive. Doing something yes. Not because I don't think they look attractive,simply it seems a bit teenagers to me. It makes me feel a bit embarrassed for them actually.

maras2 · 24/04/2019 02:32

Holy God!
What did narcissists do before SM? Confused

RubberTreePlant · 24/04/2019 02:33

🤨

Zoflorabore · 24/04/2019 02:35

The social media site that enables users to see who has viewed their picture is Twitter.

Op you don't value your worth based on likes. Do you have good friends in the real world? Are you a constant poster on SM?

You need to identify why this bothers you so much. Is it the need to feel "liked" in both senses of the word or an insecurity issue?

I'm a 41 year old woman with several SM accounts and have never thought like this.
Frankly, it's not normal, or healthy.

EnidButton · 24/04/2019 04:04

Stop 👏🏻 Calling 👏🏻 women 👏🏻 females 👏🏻

It's dehumanising. It's a scientific term that can be used for any species of animal. It reduces women to their reproductive organs.

I know it's popular with the young uns but honestly if you stop using 'female' as a noun and start seeing people as adult individuals it'll be a good start.

Also, I'd have a social media detox if I were you. Worrying about likes and comparing to other constantly isn't good for mental health. A break from it for a week or so might help you get some perspective and make you feel better about it.

EnidButton · 24/04/2019 04:11

Assuming it's selfies you're posting as you said about looks. I personally don't 'like' selfies of either men or women because I find them boring and in the case of Instagram I don't want the algorithm to think that's what I'm interested in and fill my feed accordingly. I think a lot (not all) men like attractive women's selfies because they treating social media like a pick up site and hope the women in question will be flattered enough to give them attention.

Try posting something other than selfies. Things that have made you smile that day or a subject you're interested in. A selfie mixed in with other things is better than a wall of them. Post stuff because you like the look of it instead of posting for like numbers.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 24/04/2019 06:56

it's dehumanising

Confused

Since when? First I've ever heard of it. Instead of needlessly policing people's usage of perfectly innocent terms, and given that the OP is probably female she can decide if it's appropriate or not just as much as you can (not sure why you seemingly have more of a right to decide how it's used), how 👏 about 👏 people 👏stop 👏 doing 👏 this?

farmergilesnomore · 24/04/2019 07:10

I follow a (very pretty) woman on IG who sounds like the OP, so unbelievably needy and lots of sad faces on her story asking why women don't like her pics (which are all posed, Elan Cafe type ones) Men must DM her saying they are jealous which she then puts onto her stories, saying 'nah, can't be true, who'd be jealous of me?' Hmm It is so cringe yet so enjoyable but i just can't unfollow.

SoyDora · 24/04/2019 07:11

I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone else’s selfies to be honest, male or female!

FiremanKing · 24/04/2019 07:12

Stop calling women females?

Quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read!

Dehumanising? What a load of bollocks! Grin

I’m so glad that I never have to suffer people in real life who spout this kind of clap trap and only ever see them online.

Wildrose19 · 24/04/2019 07:15

If you’re dressed up and posing people don’t generally like it. If you posted a pic of a day out with your family I think it would be different.

PrincessTiggerlily · 24/04/2019 07:18

Cuddle a dog/ cat/ injured bird/ make a save the earth placard and day you are going to Nat Hist museum/ lie on the ground and say you have taken up running and have completed your first mile/ bake a cake take pic why would I 'like' someone just for existing old gimmer here and don't get sm--

Mixedbags · 24/04/2019 07:29

If it’s a posey picture ‘look at me’ or too try hard people tend not to like. Try and be natural or friendly or make it an interesting picture something also to look at in addition. You do sound very young

EmpressLesbianInChair · 24/04/2019 07:34

You do sound very young

Well, ‘girls’ - So we’re talking teenagers / early 20s at most. Which would fit with the whole selfie culture.

firepanda · 24/04/2019 07:59

Well, ‘girls’ - So we’re talking teenagers / early 20s at most. Which would fit with the whole selfie culture.

OP's in her mid-20s.

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 24/04/2019 08:15

Where does OP say they're in their 20s?

FiremanKing · 24/04/2019 08:20

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden

The op has previously mentioned her age on another thread.

BackforGood · 24/04/2019 12:22

What are you on EnidButton ??
Well said MouldyHouseMouldyLife - excellent post.
I agree FiremanKing, same here.

Well, ‘girls’ - So we’re talking teenagers / early 20s at most
Not necessarily - I'm in my 50s but would say I'm meeting 'the girls from work' or 'the girls I went to school with' etc. Even though I know there are some internet police on MN that don't like it Wink

Original poster
Lottaberry · 24/04/2019 22:23

Thank you to the ones who gave me some insight into reasons why it may be.

@EnidButton ha! I'm laughing at how ridiculous and stupid your response was.. since when was it "dehumanizing" to call women female?! I guess most paperwork, IDs etc. must be guilty of the same crime then! You say females focuses on reproductive organs for some bizarre reason, but women doesn't?! FYI I preferred to use the word "female" rather than women or girls as I didn't want to dehumanize a person based on their age (!) and was referring to a range of ages.

Thank you
@mouldyhousemouldylife , @BackforGood and @FiremanKing :)

Also, to the ones who asked, I'm not constantly posting - I actually post about twice a year lol but yes they are selfies so that might be the reason. Just find it though that plenty of others will post a daily selfie and nothing but selfies 365 days a year and still get plenty of likes on every single picture lol

OP posts: