How to fill the days when at home with a baby

[NightOwlStacey]

Can anyone help me fill the days for when I'm at home with my baby? When DH is off work at weekends it's not too bad as I can go and have a bath for an hour for example and he will take over but during the week it's just me and our 13 week old.

2 or 3 times a week I'll arrange to meet someone for coffee but I'm usually anxious about that as she can be a bit of a crier so I'm usually on edge when we are out at something arranged that I can't just leave.

On the other days a typical day is this:

6am - wake up, feed and change her. Playtime with some toys

7.30am (approx) if I'm lucky she will nap for between half an hour to an hour

8.30am She will wake up and I'll put her in her basket whilst I do housework and keep seeing to her in between. Feed again etc.

11am We go out to the supermarket and for a walk. I try to drag this out as I enjoy walking her out and about and she's generally settled when being pushed in her buggy

1pm - back home. Do the feed, toys, change thing repeatedly until about 6pm when we start bedtime.

The afternoons seem long and boring. We live in London but not too central and I haven't taken her on public transport yet. I'm a bit nervous about her kicking off in public and to be honest I find it easier to feed her at home as sometimes she squirms a lot and it's just easier I'm familiar surroundings but I'm getting pretty bored! How do you fill your days with a baby?

Our local council run sports centre had a creche that took them from 13 weeks as long as you were in the building. It was 50p a session! I used to go to the gym or for a swim or sometimes just hid in the sauna!!

They were never particularly busy and loved having a little baby to cuddle.

One to look into?

That's a good idea thank you.

Also - I don't understand when people say they hunker down and watch box sets- that's just not an option here as DD always wants attention and usually only has a decent nap if she's being pushed so I don't have loads of time to kill by myself, it's how to entertain her all day I'm struggling with!

I just went to the market etc each day for groceries plus I joined a couple of free drop in mums groups about 3 months in. I had just relocated so knew nobody

I had a group once a week. Signed up for baby hymns at church which was more like sensory play and later some sort of baby gymnastics.

Days at home I used to start with motoric training - stretching and crossing arms across the body etc and songs.

Box sets I watched while bfing but only dc1. Dc2 was much quicker so i never got the chance!

If you are in London a sling is brilliant for public transport, easier than a pram and stops random people touching the baby! There's lots of baby things in London but I'd do something you like-for me I'd go to the Tate for the van gough exhibition then to Borough Market, both if which your DD should like as there's lots to look at.

Hoop is a great app for things going on.

I know it's hard OP but try not to worry too much about her crying when you're out. I know at first you'll feel really self conscious about it, but don't let it limit what you'd otherwise do. If she kicks off you try to soothe her... if you can't people will understand and if they don't they're knobs.

I was soooo much more relaxed about this with DC2 and it made for a much happier maternity leave.

As others have said, try your local Children's Centre - they're usually good for a few things a week plus meeting other Mums.

We used to walk miles, a good few days a week I’d do a 10 mile round trip to the abbey for cake and a hot drink in the cafe while DS slept 😳 it kept me sane. Otherwise the sling worked wonders for him being settled when awake for shopping & being out and about. X

I just tried to meet friends every day... I also had a Homestart volunteer as I had PND quite badly. DS was a terrible crier at home but the was much better when we were out and about.

I also watched a lot of box sets. But I’m not sure I’d recommend this. DS was quite late to talk, and I do wonder if the tv contributed to that (he has completely caught up now and basically never shuts up so it didn’t do lasting harm).

The key thing is to meet other mums. Having someone to chat to while you see to the baby makes it much less boring!

If you contact NCT you can sometimes join a group without doing the classes. Or how about tumble tots, baby music, swimming etc. Have a google and see what's available in your area. Then if you meet a mum that you click with, take the plunge and ask for her phone number so you can meet up outside the class.

Stay and plays at your local children's centre fill in some time. Am guessing you're BFing so if there's a BF support group at the children's centre that is a good place to go too. Baby bounce/singing/rhymes whatever it's called at the library. It gets you out and nobody cares if babies are crying at these things. If yoga is your thing then there are mum and baby yoga sessions around. Again no worries about crying babies.
I walked miles when DD was a baby-she slept really well in a moving pram and would stay sleeping whilst I had a sit down then walked home. Bliss!! The nice weather is good for that and good exercise for you.
Some shopping centres/shops have decent rooms where you can BF if you're not comfortable in a cafe. John Lewis tend to be good tho the space at the Brent Cross one was a bit small I recall.

I second the really long walks!! My neighbours used to comment that I was ‘great’ for being out and about so much. The truth is I loved it, it kept me sane, the DC loved the fresh air, always napped better afterwards and it definitely made me feel more in touch with the outside world. I’d interact with the babies when they were awake but the minute they fell asleep I’d put my headphones in, music on and stride out! Used to fill up hours for me!! Can you head back out for a walk in the afternoon?

That was the age I started to try and go to a lot of groups. You could also go on lots of walks. Join a library ans pick some books to read to her at bedtime.

Young babies don't need entertaining. It overstimulates them. Feed, 90mins maximum awake time, sleep, repeat. During awake time they are happy enough just watching the world go by. Most hate having things thrust in their faces all the time. Tummy time is torture for them too.
Mine liked to stare at the light fittings on the ceiling or the black picture frames because of the contrast. Try some local young baby groups at the church hall or library. Or lopk for swimming sessions, sing and sign, drumming, sensory etc.
It's such a shocking change of lifestyle good luck and it will get better.

I started baby classes at about that point. I never would've thought I'd enjoy them, but they gave structure to the day, there were adults I could speak to and there was always a baby kicking off so no one cared when it was DD. My favourite was the one I could walk to and was next to a bakery...

Baby groups and stay and play groups were the only thing that kept me sane. I went to one nearly every day of the week.
The friends I made there were so important to me.

As a LP I went out somewhere every day during the week. Stay & play type activities in a local nursery one day, children's centre another, swimming lessons, baby yoga, story time at the library. I struggle less with a full day in the house now (ds is 6!) but it would do my head in being stuck at home all day with a baby. Doesn't have to be out all day but an activity & some company definitely needed.

Can hv help you find places? Baby sensory classes/something a bit more structured/group led rather than just literally stay & play sessions which could be hard on your own x

I didn't do any baby groups except one we accidentally went to at the library (a rhyme time thing) and dd loved it so we went back every week. We went to that library which had a children's section from about 8 weeks or so, she just laid on a blanket and looked at the change of scenery while I showed her toys/ read the local paper. We went to one of the many London parks near us every day, I'd get her out to 'look' at the ducks or just walk around to look at the outdoors. I took her into the playgrounds from a very young age, would walk her there in the pram then put her in the sling facing outwards or when she was that young just carry her round over my shoulder and she'd happily 'watch' all the children playing, I'd just wander about for 20 mins or so to get her outside and out of the pram. We'd do morning park, home for feed and bit of cleaning then out to shops even just for a mooch about in the afternoon. I probably looked like a lunatic taking my 3 month old baby to the massive playground but she was happy to look about at what little she could see and hear the sounds and I didn't feel isolated. We went to the city farms, libraries and playgrounds and we'd walk everywhere, I'm happy to walk miles though and would far rather do so than get on a bus!

I do three baby classes a week. DD is six months now but I started when she was about 8 weeks with a weekly baby yoga class. We're currently doing Jo jingles (music and singing), a mum's and baby Pilates and a baby sign language class. The other days will be food shop, walk in the park, and I am in the process of registering her with the gym so I can leave her in the crèche for an hour. Now it's sunny we are also having days in where we just chill in the garden. It's sounds busy but it's not, usually about 2-3 hours out of the house max, then food (weaning at the moment), naps, and play at home.

Like pp, the baby classes kept me sane so were worth the expense. Now she's older we can go to some of the free/cheap play sessions but I haven't found one yet.

I did watch a lot of box sets when DD was a newborn but I barely watch TV in the day now.

I seem to have the opposite problem to everyone else on mat leave, I seem to have no time at all and get nothing I want to done! I get up a bit later than you and on the days I don’t have DS at home I help get him ready for DH to take to nursery, by the time I’ve then got FD and I up and dressed I’m lucky if I manage some breakfast before she then wants a feed. She then tends to get plonked on a playmat while I run around trying to do household jobs (the endless laundry, tidying, making shopping list type nonsense). Then maybe fed again if she needs it before we go out. I stay home occasionally but I go out most days)). We do two baby classes a week (swimming and one other) and a church playgroup. I’m about to start a baby friendly exercise class twice a week too. I meet up with various friends and go for walks / coffees. I food shop more often than I would when working, I also do all those annoying jobs that would usually have been done at the weekend like post office visits. I do some gardening jobs if I can and have massive list I’d housed projects I want to get done (from decluttering to replacing the bathroom lino. When I get home and what I do in the afternoon varies a lot but it’s more if the same. I then try to start making dinner usually around the time DD becomes clingy and refuses to do anything but feed.

At that age I went to baby massage one day, which we both enjoyed, started and swimming lessons and met up with NCT friends one day a week. That gave structure to my week and I was usually happy to potter round home/shops/cafes/park/family's houses the other days.

When baby was that young I found he had no interest in toys, but would happily watch me go about my business in his bouncy chair so I could cook, clean and shower.

Classes, classes and more classes. Then we do coffee with our class mums. Then we walk, walk and walk!
I have a membership to National Trust and other garden type places.
I hate being stuck in, I can do a day a week at home and that's my lot.
DS likes being out. He's very sociable and will sleep anywhere as a result.
We have a play, sleep, eat routine, we just do stick to times but do it on the go.

Check your local churches. We have found a free group on 3 days a week which are lovely.
Chatting to other mums and just hanging out helped me loads

Does she only have one nap a day? Apologies if I misread. But if she is a crier that might be why.

This is a bit of an off the wall suggestion......

I read on my local FB page about mums who take their babies into retirement / care homes to meet the residents. The residents really, really enjoy seeing the babies and chatting to the mums.....