I'm really hurting today, I've been seeing a counsellor for the last six months or so but I can't see her for another two weeks due to holidays. I really wish I had someone to talk to, but I don't have anyone. I'm just back from the supermarket and saw someone I vaguely know. I was chatting to him briefly and was tempted to say something to him, but I didn't because he's old enough to be my dad and I was worried about boundaries. And also because I'm upset about my relationship with my own dad, so chatting to him either could have gone really well or really badly.
I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve with this post, I just know that lots of emotions and memories from my childhood have been surfacing recently, things that I haven't dealt with and I'm feeling it all at once and it's so hard. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment but I have to try to hold it together around my family. It's just so, so hard