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How soon do you let new partners meet your kids?

4 replies

Biancadelrioisback · 23/04/2019 14:20

My DSis has been having an affair for 6 months and has, just earlier this month, left her husband (of 8 years) to be with the other man (OM).
She now wants to bring OM to family events and on an upcoming family holiday- basically slot him into the place where her husband used to be. I've said that if she does, I won't come with DS as I want to at least meet the man first without DS there. DS is only 2 so doesn't understand what's going on, but he was close to the soon to be ex husband, as am I. The STBXH is very good friends with DH too so it's very awkward.
I'm furious with DSis about how she has treated her husband (long story but not good) and I think she is setting a bad example for my son as to how to treat people. I understand that I am a bit precious with DS (PFB) but I just don't really know what the etiquette or expectations are?
Do I have any right to not want this man to be brought into our life so soon? Am I being a prat? I did say I wanted to wait until this new relationship was established before bringing him into our family as 'uncle so and so'. My parents think im overreacting. Any advice would be welcome

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 23/04/2019 14:23

Over-reacting. You don't have to introduce him as anything to a 2 year old, who will not care a jot anyway. Just bide your time and if it looks like the new guy is decent and will be around long term then eventually he can be uncle-so-and-so if you want and feel comfortable with it by then. No big deal.

Biancadelrioisback · 23/04/2019 15:37

I thought I might have been ... It just feels too soon considering I have never met him and it's all happened so quickly! DS keeps asking for uncle 'soon to be ex husband' so it feels weird trying to explain why he won't be there at my mam's etc.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 23/04/2019 17:14

aw, yeah I can see why it would feel a bit weird.. like with everything really give it a bit of time. I'd tell DS he's working or something for now. 2 is a good age where you can get away with breezily brushing things off.

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theclockticksslowly · 23/04/2019 17:54

I’d just introduce him as “Aunty’s friend” name and not use Uncle or anything.

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