Eating disorder... shocked

[boilersontheblink]

I'm at the doctors currently (not related to ED) and decided to weigh myself on the scales, was expecting about 10stone, at least 9.5....

It says 8stone exactly (50kg) I'm 5'8 and just checked my BMI which says i'm 16.9 (underweight).

I had an eating disorder (anorexia) aged 13-15 but 'recovered' the weight lost in hospital at the time.

I binge eat a lot and my doctor describes me as 'anorexic with binge eating tendencies' but the amount I've been eating lately I thought surely I'd have gained not lost??

I haven't been underweight for years and it's crazy to me that I am that weight now.. I don't want to gain anything else as I already feel to big, if anything I felt I needed to lose!

I'm 20 years old now for reference.
The anorexia was never really 'fixed' back then, I just gained the weight back through forced hospital admission, I never had any therapy for the thoughts.

I don't think posters discussing calories is going to be at all helpful. It might be triggering and knowing how calorie/weight threads go there will just be lots of people arguing their way is 'right' and forgetting that they're replying to someone who has had an eating disorder and can't discuss calories etc like them.

Are you sure the weighing scales were correct? I used to work in a pharmacy that had those huge ones that gave you a mini print out of the measurements and even that went wrong sometimes and had to be adjusted.

Scales in a nurse's or doctor's room should be accurate. You can ask to be weighed to check and if the result is the same please discuss your feelings about gaining weight with them.

Counselling from someone who specialises in EDs would be very beneficial.

@YonWeeLassie I wasn't actually 9-10stone but thought I was as I have had bad body image. Last time I was weighed I was 8st 10lbs.

My clothes are a little looser.

@Branleuse right now I want to lose or at least stay the same, I know I looked scary when I was younger from how many bones were visible and I don't want to go back there but I need the therapy to help me have the strength to think rationally and start liking my body again.

@VforVienetta I'm currently referred to them for CBT for my anxiety but it's a 6 month wait.

@Fantasmagoric Thyroid was checked in Jan and was normal, she's requested new bloods today though.

Ah sorry I was slow posting. See you were in the doc's room.

@EnidButton she weighed me in her office too with different scales and it was the same.

@EnidButton it's okay :)

Once your referral for CBT gets assessed they may decline it due to your history. They're not generally trained to deal with more complex cases. I'd definitely ask for a referral to the eating disorders team, the GP can check if you meet the criteria or not (and whether you meet the criteria for CBT also).

You just need to make another doctors appointment. Go back next week when you've had a think and reflected on your food choices etc, and say 'Actually, I think I need a referral for an eating disorder.' You can even show this thread.

Do have a look at the B-eat website . I've had occasion to call their support phone line in the past, and the person on the phone was excellent and very kind, and they had very good information on various kinds of services locally to me, which my GP didn't happen to know.

I dont think theres much point getting treatment for your eating disorder if you are still wanting to lose more. Sounds like youre in the thick of it. I think psychotherapy would be more useful to unpick why you think so little of yourself

I dont think theres much point getting treatment for your eating disorder if you are still wanting to lose more

I don't think this is very fair. No idea if this is the recommendation from any official source, but it seems very wrong. Like telling someone very depressed and self-harming they won't be able to have therapy until they first stop self-harming and thinking about suicide, which happens a lot (hopefully less now). You need the help most when you're at your worst. It's unfair to expect people to first drag themselves out of the deepest of holes, so they can then get help once (if!) they've got that far and no longer need it as badly. Obviously the nature of the help should be tailored to where exactly you are in your illness.

@LowLifeOpinions We said that years ago multiple times but we gave up as once you're weight restored you don't qualify for help anymore yet one you're underweight they want you to gain weight before you can access treatment

I've asked my Gp before for specialist ED treatment as I've had this for years and she's always said I don't qualify as I'm not a low enough weight. She didn't seem to concerned today either unfortunately.

I even looked into private medical insurance recently to see if that would fund some time at a specialist but most won't and it's still a lot of money.

@WhatNowRandy 100% agree:

@WhatNowRandy My mums spoken to them a lot over the years, all they could suggest were services in the area that we were already accessing but I didn't meet the criteria at the time/didn't help previously.

@mothers2019de I don't have children.

Hi there is an online help service called BEAT with a helpline if that is any good for you.