Anyone got any corny jokes?

[notacooldad]

I'll start.
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh , Give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!!

I need some daft jokes!

The Asian banking world is in trouble,
the Origami bank has folded, staff at the Karate bank have been given the chop and shares at the Kamikaze bank have taken a nose dive.
Meanwhile the Bonsai bank has had to cut back several branches.

Thanks for all these. I've been having a corny joke day at work today.
The teenagers now hate me and I have to stop!!! I told them theres probably more!
🤣🤣🤣🤣

How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your fridge?

Footprints in the butter!

I need more!

Why should you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He was pulled under by strong currants ☹️

Two snowmen standing in a field. One turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

Puddleglum, you forgot to mention the fishy goings-on at The Bank Of Sushi.

I just got a new stick deodorant - the instructions say 'remove cap and push up bottom'. Now I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely.

What's green and rides a horse? Alexander the Grape

Knock knock
Who's there
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow who...
(interrupting) MOOOOOOOO

Did you know you people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabi do

What's E.T short for?

He's got little legs

What do you call the fear of an overengineered group of buildings?
A complex complex complex.

Why is it easy for penguins to get bail?

They aren't considered a flight risk...

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

I'm not working again until Tuesday so I have now more cornies in stock for the kids!