The Tank

[OldUnit]

NC for this because it's mortally embarrassing.

I'm a rep for a company which supplies to a male dominated trade. I have a background and am fully qualified/time served in this technical field and have known my pool of customers for coming up for 20yrs now (I'm 38).

I'm in and out of these business giving advice, selling a bit, generally keeping up with trade chat, that sort of thing.

This weekend a customer got in touch with me to 'warn me' that some of the lads in his workplace are running a bet on who will get to 'fuck the old tank' (me) first. Apparently one of them said he'd have to 'lift up her stomach to fuck her though'. One of these men have recently added me on Facebook.

I'm absolutely mortified. I know I'm no supermodel, but I never go in there to command attention! Im a steel toe cap & hi viz sort. (Not that ANYONE should illicit those comments)

I'm 5ft5 and about 11st, a size 14. I just thought I was average, I could probably do to lose a stone...but.... It's really knocked me for six....some days it's actually quite hard walking into these businesses and being confident.

I could tell their employer, but it would absolutely 'out' the source of the info and make it difficult for the person working there.
I kind of want revenge in a way... WWYD??

And I am entirely used to 'banter', having spent so long in the trade.

It's not that, this feels more pernicious.

Tell their employer. That's vile.

Why would this person tell you the vile insults?

Sound like he or she want to get the other person in trouble so be careful you’re not being used or manipulated.

I'm am absolutely disgusted on your behalf!

stop looking down on yourself just because some arseholes are being nasty.

Well, I did wonder at their motive but am tempted to believe the 'informant'.
These lads in particular always burst into fits of laughter when I'm around and there's a lot of whispering/in jokes. They're very early 20's I'd guess and not really my contact at the business. I'd just rolled my eyes and ignored it until now. Now I just feel humiliated.

I would feel very embarrassed going to their employer about this, personally, but at the same time, I'm livid.

Let’s face it, they’re in a group and wouldn’t act like that on there own.

If you winked at one of them on husband own he’d probably curl up and die.

Women do it too, it’s same sex groups that behave stupidly when a member of the opposite sex who is usually older and perhaps doesn’t have film star looks and they don’t seem to understand that what is ‘hilarious’ to them is quite hurtful to the other person.

^ their own

They're very early 20's I'd guess

There you go. They're just a bunch of daft lads. Not nice of them but they never intended you to know about their stupid banter. I'd play games with them and wind them right up. Start making strange references to tanks, just enough to get them wondering but not enough for them to be sure you've been tipped off.

It's also possibile that one of them actually fancies you and has created the whole "fuck the old tank" challenge as cover for himself if he gets up the courage to make a pass at you.

Regardless, don't let the inane, puerile banter of a bunch of barely-adult lads dent your self-esteem. You're better than that.

Thank you, it has bothered me but I know they're little idiots. It's clearly touched a nerve because I'm self conscious but it's still vile.
I don't want them to get away with it.

op I feel furious on your behalf, being 'early 20s' is no excuse for vile behaviour, its not just 'banter', its sexist, rude and disgusting, I can only assume that they are of very low intelligence.
I would advise that in future you totally ignore them, dont even look in their direction and dont ever answer any more 'banter', if asked why you need 'to cheer up it may never happen' I would perfect a very disdainful look and walk on.

and block facebook too.