Sorry, rubbish title.
I'm 43 with a 19yo DD. Split from her dad when I was pregnant. I met DP when she was 11. He didn't want children and, although I always wanted at least 4 children before I had DD, I didn't really want to start again after all that time so I was happy with that.
Today I'm sitting with my patio doors open and I can hear children playing. I've suddenly found myself crying for the babies I haven't had. It's ridiculous because if I found myself pregnant now it would be a disaster but I have got myself in a ridiculous state here.
Wtf is the matter with me?!