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Original poster

Give my head a wobble and make me do this

14 replies

Mississippilessly · 22/04/2019 05:33

I have posted a lot about my non sleeping DS who only bloody settles for me. We have a sleep consultant booked in for next week and I'm pinning all my hopes on her.
Currently we are on holiday. 3 or 4 times a day I am in our room, in darkness, with a sleeping baby on me. We have tried to get DH to do naps but DS just screams. We have managed 2 without me since being here.
There is an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do. But it would mean being away from both of them for 4 hrs. DS is EBF but is 7 months and is eating solids.
Would it be terrible for me to go? Is it unfair on DS? Would I enjoy it? Would I constantly be worried about DS?

OP posts:
lljkk · 22/04/2019 05:35

4 hours? I thought you were going to say 4 days.
Just go. You're allowed a life. Give your DH a better chance to find his own way to muddle thru.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 22/04/2019 05:38

Tha is- I k ow it seems ridiculous. It's just got to such a point with him being attached to me. I do keep trying. We have put him.in the kids club every day but twice they called to say he wouldnt settle and please could we pick him up.
I've no way of expressing here (unless I hand expressed into a Tommee Tippee) so he would be milk less

OP posts:
Flower777 · 22/04/2019 05:58

You might find it is different if you are not actually there.

Please go. It is so important to take some time for yourself.

They will muddle through - it sounds like it might be a great opportunity for them to spend some time together.

Go and have a great time.

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nutellanom · 22/04/2019 07:18

He is so small still at 7 months. It's completely normal for him to only want to settle for you (and also normal for other babies to be different!).

If you're desperate to go and do the activity then yes, he will cope with his dad for a few hours. He might be upset but I guess it depends how important/enjoyable the activity is for you as to whether it's worth it!

I think 7 months is really small to be left in a kids club actually, where the staff don't know him or his cues and it's all unfamiliar to him. He will be better with his dad hopefully who at least he knows.

coragreta · 22/04/2019 07:23

I was back at work 7+hrs a day by 6months I had a bottle refuser too. She used to starve herself for 7hrs til I got home.
Just go, enjoy and he'll have a big feed when you get back.

KMoKMo · 22/04/2019 07:25

How long has he been at the kids club for? I agree with PP. 7 months away from parents in an unfamiliar setting is too young.
4 hours for you to have a break is fine. Go have fun.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 22/04/2019 07:57

We have left him in the club for 90 mins - that's all (and when he hasn't settled it's been 20 minutes).

I'm a bit surprised at the answers - lots of people are back at work and baby is in nursery by this point.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mississippilessly · 22/04/2019 08:01

Also I should say we stayed with him the first couple of times and played etc.

We dont have help at home so it's been the first time we've been able to just have a bit of adult time, particularly because at home he doesnt settle in the evenings and I go to bed ridiculously early.

Feel terribly guilty for leaving him now!

OP posts:
UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 22/04/2019 08:02

Go! Feed him beforehand and enjoy yourself. You're allowed to have a life, and four hours is very little.

beela · 22/04/2019 08:05

I agree that 7 months seems a bit young for kids club, but 4 hours with his dad is totally different! You should definitely go and do your activity. They will be fine. Would he nap if your dh took him for a long walk in the buggy maybe?

MynameisJune · 22/04/2019 08:06

Feed him before you go, he will be fine with DH. They will find a way because they have to, with you always there to step in you’ve ended up having to do it all. Depending on how precious you are about ebf after 6 months you could get a bottle of ready made formula so DH has a back up if he is really struggling.

I’ll admit I wouldn’t have left my DD in kids club at 7 months but he is fine so don’t worry about it.

nutellanom · 22/04/2019 17:30

I guess there's a difference between kids club and nursery, as with nursery there is a settling in period, an allocated key worker who focuses in particular on getting to know your child, and lots of handover in terms of what baby needs to nap/feed etc. Whereas with a kids club obviously that process doesn't happen.

I hope you had the break and enjoyed it though, leaving baby with dad!

At home could you employ a babysitter? Someone who you could meet and get to know first, then leave baby with them for a couple of hours to have couple/alone time? If you have no family to help to give you a short break I know it can be difficult!

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 22/04/2019 17:46

Yes that is very true re nursery. I suppose in my defence we made sure he had been fed and we were picking him up for a nap, so we didnt expect them to need to read those signals, basically just keep him safe and happy for a bit - which he was a few times! He has cut 2 teeth since we have been here.
I need to leave at 6.15 am tomorrow and am absolutely dreading it.

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 22/04/2019 19:12

I would just go. Worst case scenario dh and ds will be upset for a few hours. It's not going to hurt them.
Best case scenario, you have a nice day, ds gets more time with DH and learns to settle for him and dh gets more confidence.

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