Dryness during sex.

[PumpkinPiesInTheOven]

I'm 36 and I just don't get wet anymore. Is this just what happens at a certain age? It's not Sahara desert level but it's just not happening. It has nothing to with desire. We use lube but it just gets me down. I feel like my body isn't responding properly. Ive got PCOS and it seems to be playing up over the past year or two after things getting better for a while. Could it be related or is this just to be expected in your 30s? Also, possibly related, I'm having occasional pain during sex which I saw the gp about and they didn't see anything wrong.

I had this for years after having DS(6) and was only in my 20's. It has gotten a little better in the last year or 2.

I have had three kids over the past 8 years so I suppose it could be to do with that. I didn't really think about it.

What contraception do you use? The mini pill did that to me. I got a copper coil after my last baby and I'm back to normal now

Dh's vasectomy is my contraception

I did use the pill years and years ago but didnt have any the problem then. But I was only early 20s.

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Hi OP, sorry you’re experiencing these things. Dryness is normally what us women get when approaching menopause - fluctuating hormone levels etc. You could ask these to be checked as a possibility - under guidelines women under 45 can have FSH tests which might show an indication. If you want more info (sometimes it’s as well to go in with ammo!) just google the NICE guidelines to menopause.

At least you have lube! I don’t know how true it is, but I read that some can have a drying effect I bought one from a brand called YES which is good, with no parabens, silicon etc. The water based one is supposed to moisturise the skin tissues as well as being a lube and is good to use even when not having sex when feeling a bit dry.

Re the pain, could be a few things and must be disappointing to be fobbed off by your GP. Sorry, I know nothing about PCOS (fibroids are more my thing!). If it continues, the easiest rule out option is to go to a GUM clinic. They should do a thorough check and take samples to tests for anything possible. It could for example be a thrush infection in there that’s causing the pain. They might suggest other things like vulvodynia or vaginismus depending on symptoms. They might also suggest seeing a gynae for further assessment.

Hope you get somewhere with it. It can be very distressing not having answers, and sometimes you have to be a bit pushy.

Also meant to say I watched “The Sex Clinic” recently (Ch4, episode 2) and there was a couple on there where the girl had pain during sex. She got an answer and was given advice, but can’t remember what it was 🤔

Thanks 50andfabulous, You know from googling I saw menopause mentioned several times but just assumed I was way too young! Maybe I'm not I've been getting a bit hairier which I put down to my PCos but it could be to do with that couldn't it. Also going rapidly grey...

tbf the gp was good she sent me to the gyno for the pain. I also had two weird cysty type things on my vulva which she was concerned about, so I've been referred twice. The gyno said they weren't concerned about the cysts because they were very smooth and round but that there was no obvious cause for the vaginal pain. It almost feels like dh is bashing me in the cervix some times! He's completely normal size sorry dh so I know it's not that and I never had pain before kids so I put the pain down to big babies. It Could all be entirely unrelated but I just thought I'd mention it in case they were related.

I will check the ingredients in the lube, never thought it really mattered this is just some stuff I got from Lovehoney.

Some women, for whatever reason, can go through meno early. Average is something like mid 40s to mid 50s. I’m actually at the other end of the scale, and other than dry fanjo - and spots (oddly) haven’t had much in the way of symptoms. My coil stopped periods dead in their tracks so no clue there.

(Peri) menopause can last for years and generally isn’t tested for as it’s just a fact of life that happens to all of us. If it happens early, it can be helpful to get tested and take supplemental hormones to protects bones etc. Vagifem can also help with dry fanjos.

I’m not saying this is necessarily what’s happening to you, but it can always be useful to be prepared!

Awww bless your dh- re size...it’s all in what he does with it . Perhaps try different positions? Could be an excuse to experiment . If it continues, defo get it checked further.

Thanks for the helpful posts fab.

Re positions I've noticed it can be any position but not everytime which makes me think something is wrong with me not something he's doing.

I guess I will have to bite the bullet and bring it up with the gp with regards to the dryness.