Women who've done the casual hook-ups/fwb thing, did you enjoy it?

[Lottaberry]

Women who've done the casual hook-ups/fwb thing, did you enjoy it?

I don't mean one night stands nor do I mean super serious relationships with the aim of marriage etc. but the in between.. like meeting guys having some sort of "friendship" with them but also hooking up (without any financial incentive etc).

There's always a stereotype that women want intimacy etc. over the physical thrill of sleeping with someone, more so than men. I know it's a stereotype and obviously doesn't apply to all woman but just interested in the viewpoints of women who've done it, how long for, how it progressed in the end and your age.

Not me but years ago a school mum friend around the corner had quite a few men on the go purely for friends with benefits. They had to be married so as to not want more.

She was perfectly happy with the set up and only saw the men during school hours or when her ex husband had the children as she devoted the rest of the time to caring for her children.

Not something that would have given me any joy but it worked for her.

I found her very warm with children but quite cold with adults.

I’ve done so and up until very recently had a FWB whom I had been seeing for just over 3 years. Very casual and we kept it simple and didn’t ask too many questions regarding personal life. He wasn’t my first FWB and personally for ME I loved it. My children were young and I felt like I didn’t have time for nor did I even want a relationship. I called him whenever I felt like I wanted a wild night away from being just a ‘mum’ and it did help.
I didn’t feel any sort of resentment or bitter feelings but I always made it a rule that I wouldn’t link up with him if I felt upset or down or anything like that - just when I wanted a night to completely unwind and let my hair down. And it helped

Yes when younger and single but not consistently,sex and love can be separate imo

Ooo yes. Plenty - I consider it one of the joys of life! I had fwb partners at numerous times throughout my teens, 20s and early 30s - whenever I was single really. I’m in a relationship now, but I wouldn’t think twice about embarking on something like that again if I was single. I don’t have kids and don’t want any in the future, which perhaps always made things easier.

Very happily in a FWB relationship. Indeed have just returned home from a perfect day. I’ll see him again in a couple of weeks. We’re both single, he’s 10 years younger than me and I see him when my DS has contact with his father. We also have an amazing close friendship and I adore him. This has been going on for five years now. After an awful divorce, he is exactly what I need. The rest of the time is devoted to my young son. Long may it continue 😊

I think what makes it work is if you find their company fun for a few hours, but know you'd start to find them annoying if you were around them for days. Or you never have much to say to each other despite feeling comfortable with them. Or you disagree with a lot of their opinions but the sex side works.

Previously when single, yes.
Never very long term, a few months at a time maybe.
Hook up once a week or so with no expectations of each other, just friends hanging out, always guaranteed a happy ending. Worked well for me when I didn't have the time or mental space for a relationship but wanted sex with someone I knew and that cared about me, not a one night stand.
If I were to become single again, I would do the same again.

That was about stuff in my twenties. The longest one was 5 years on and off and ended partly because I moved away and partly because I stopped fancying him much. But I think those same principles of what made them work could apply at any age. You need to fancy them enough for it to be fun but also see honestly in your own mind why you wouldn't want it to be more.

One of my best friends all through primary and secondary school was a boy. I was also friends with his twin sister. Growing up, there was nothing more than just kids being kids, playing together etc.
Then we hit 15, and hormones raging etc, just totally out of the blue, me and this boy who’d been one of my closest friends since early childhood just started shagging He’d always been very good looking, and all the girls at school fancied him, but he’d never been more to me than just my mate since we were about 4 or 5. Even when we were having pretty frequent, casual sex, it never developed into a relationship or any discussions of feelings etc, it was more “I want an orgasm, so do you” kind of thing.
We are still friends now in our mid-20’s, both married to other people, both have children, and it’s as if our teenage sexual escapades never happened! My DH had absolutely no idea there had ever been a sexual relationship there until I told him when we discussed our first times, because my friend and I just don’t interact that way if that makes sense?
In a way, I consider myself very lucky that I lost my virginity to someone who I trusted wholeheartedly, and who I knew loved and cared about me even if it wasn’t a romantic kind of love.
We also got all the awkward/embarrassing sexual mishaps out of the way with each other as we were “learning the ropes”

Yes, a long time ago now. I think it was one of the most honest and enjoyable relationships I've ever had. We were both clear we didn't want more and just had a great time. I'm now very happily married but if I ended up single again I would love to find something similar rather than dive into another monogamous relationship.

I'm in a 16 year (so far) monogamous relationship so obviously not looking! But
Iv already decided though that if I was to find my self single again I would never again want a marriage or living together type of relationship. So the likelihood is I'd want a fwb or similar. I'm in a very happy relationship and hope it lasts for a long time but if it ended I just wouldn't ever want that again.

I would want complete freedom, with my own space both emotionally and living alone but company (and or a shag) when I fancied it. Sounds like perfection.

I think what makes it work is if you find their company fun for a few hours, but know you'd start to find them annoying if you were around them for days

That's definitely me!! I've had a FWB for 7 years now. We get on great the sex is amazing but I'd never in a million years want a conventional relationship with him.

So long as you're both looking for the same thing out of it it's a great set up

I’ve had a friend who I occasionally slept with when we were both in the mood for sex. The rest of the time we’d just hang out as friends.

Ive had a fwb who I’d meet at weekends for sex (but didn’t like him enough to want him as a boyfriend).

I’ve had a couple of those actually. I like the sex but didn’t really like hanging out with them too much so I’d see them once a week for sex and a take away, then they’d go home.

It might make a difference that I’m divorced and have two kids so I’m not really looking for anything long term right now, just stuff to do when the kids are with their dad

Yup. Very happy with my FWB. I’ve been “with” him for 5 years now.

Awesome sex, fun times but never anything more. It’s perfect for me.

Wow lots of cool stories - thanks for the replies so far :)

When single, yes. 20s 30s and 40s - Enjoyed it immensely and still feel very warmly towards them. Not sure whether it would be the same now but still hopeful.

It's brilliant, as long as they don't get needy or whiny. While it's amazing sex, lots of laughs and no strings - best of times.

I’ve had all kinds of liaisons - the purely just sex and no strings thing never really worked for me, tbh.

This would make for some really interesting fodder for an article. Can I ask @lottaberry I’m assuming you are a man, have you ever made a woman happy in bed? Is that why you don’t understand why women can just have sex for the fun of it? Please regale us with your full sexual history

Thanks everyone for the insightful replies so far :) It's positive to see a lot of women do enjoy it.

@ShintyFartMuscle Oh bore off. No I haven't ever "made a woman happy in bed".. primarily because I am in fact a (straight) woman too. Think if I were a man, I'd have better things to do on Easter weekend than sign up just to ask women personal questions on a mum forum. Or surely IF I were that type of "man", I'd ask much more perverted/direct sub-questions on this thread?!