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Original poster

How annoying is it when non native speakers get m/f nouns mixed up?

31 replies

flitwit99 · 20/04/2019 14:04

I know there's a language board somewhere but I can't for the life of me find it.
Now I am getting old I can't remember things like I used to. I can never remember the gender of nouns. How annoying is it when people say le instead of la in French for example? I've become really self conscious about it and it's putting me off speaking which is ridiculous. Because English doesn't have gender nouns I have no idea what it sounds like to get it wrong. Is it really bad?

OP posts:
PolytheneSam · 20/04/2019 14:07

It's all in the ear of the beholder.

Some people get annoyed by grammatical mistakes (even within native speakers) some don't and some might even find them endearing... innit?

Theyellowsquare · 20/04/2019 14:10

Most decent people would be pleased that you are trying to learn and would overlook any errors.

CabbageLeaf · 20/04/2019 14:27

As a native speaker of a language with female and male nouns, I don't expect foreigners to get them right, apart from the most obvious ones. So if they say le femme for example, that would grate a bit. If they don't get the article for common words like book, milk, sofa right, I honestly wouldn't notice - because tbh, most foreigners make mistakes like that occasionally so it's expected. Just like I expect them to have a foreign accent.

Wallywobbles · 20/04/2019 14:50

More likely to be humorous than annoying. I used to tell my husband I was going to put on a chicken rather than a jumper. We raise chickens too so not an impossible thing to do. It's such a lovely image it just tickles him.

Original poster
flitwit99 · 20/04/2019 16:24

So I should stop being so embarrassed about it and just speak anyway? I don't know why I'm so worried about getting it wrong. I never used to be so self-conscious.

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 20/04/2019 16:55

Much better to get on and speak it, mistakes and all. I find that some people will correct you, almost always kindly.

The more you speak the language, the more naturally the gender pronouns become anyway. I'm often amazed at how often I get it right!

I had a lovely Italian friend and colleague, she used to get cross when we didn't correct her, but we never did because we all understood what she meant and her spoken English sounded rather lovely in its own way.

Mistigri · 20/04/2019 21:48

Most native speakers won't care, unless you are their mother, in which case they will cringe.

AguerosAngel · 20/04/2019 22:32

It’s good to know that native speakers generally don’t mind, I’m currently learning Spanish and sometimes (quite a bit Blush) get them mixed up.

archivearmadillo · 20/04/2019 22:37

Mistigri has it Grin

WorraLiberty · 20/04/2019 22:38

I know this is completely irrelevant to the thread but...

I had a Polish man ask me at work today, "What time do you shit?"

I know he meant 'shut' but me and his wife were dying laughing and couldn't reply for ages Grin Grin

Then she explained to him in Polish and the poor bloke was mortified Grin

MrsMoastyToasty · 20/04/2019 22:40

I get anxious about when to use "Tu" and "vous" in French and "Tu" and "usted" in Spanish...and I studied both to a'level about a million years ago

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 20/04/2019 23:30

Getting the articles and follwing agreements wrong ist not a problem. People will understand you. (In German there are even words where different regions use different articles - DH says "der Butter" I say "die Butter".)
@MrsMoastyToasty
When watching a film / reading a book in both languages (i. e. English original and German translation - it's fun to see at what point in the story the characters change from Sie to Du - and it is almost impossible to (politely) change back to formal.

Original poster
flitwit99 · 20/04/2019 23:49

I get anxious about when to use "Tu" and "vous" in French

Oh yes this too. I was taught to always use vous unless it was a friend or family but I often seem like I'm overly formal now. It's a minefield.

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 21/04/2019 06:10

Tu vous is a bit region dependent. Where I lived before vous was relatively rare.

Where I live now tu is less common. DH tells everyone I'll tu them, a lot of the same people that he vous! Ive been here 24 years.

Honestly no one cares as long they can make out what you're saying.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 21/04/2019 06:14

Just speak, always. People worth talking to will be delighted that you're making an effort, and be sympathetic to errors.

PrimeraVez · 21/04/2019 06:32

Our nanny isn't a native English speaker and she frequently mixes up 'his' and 'her'. I barely register it anymore.

I would much prefer that she spoke confidently and often, rather than felt afraid to speak in case she made a mistake!

Teddybear45 · 21/04/2019 06:40

It depends on the language. In French / Spanish not using them correctly will probably impact the ability for the other person to understand. In Hindi or Mandarin it might not matter as there are a number of ‘correct’ ways to speak it; and the ‘hinglish / pinyun’ style’ is one of them.

Troels · 21/04/2019 07:17

I work with some ladies from abroad and they both mix up he and she. I listen when they are talking to me so know who they are talking about and don't worry about the he and she. It threw me off at first, but now I'm used to it and don't bat an eyelid.

Honeyroar · 21/04/2019 07:26

I think you’ve got to get your confidence up and just speak as much as you can. Then things start to fall into place anyway.

And I cannot find the language board from the menu either!

donajimena · 21/04/2019 07:26

My lovely SIL who is Spanish asked my children if Satan had brought their presents one Christmas Grin

jasmine1971 · 21/04/2019 07:30

Really don't worry about it, I'm a languages teacher - and I was exceptionally shy at school, worried about contributing, etc., I would just go for it and not worry too much about 100% accuracy in speaking.

It shouldn't affect anyone's understanding.

Tu - for a friend / for someone considerably younger than you / for a child / family member that you are close to
Vous - for a work colleague until you've decided to use 'tu' / a Boss / policeman etc - I always say to my students 'vous' for someone that is older / more experienced /in a higher position than you that you don't know well enough to call a 'friend'.

So 'vous' would work for long lost Great Aunt Sue as well.

Courage!

Rockbird · 21/04/2019 07:41

How on earth do you remember who you've tu'd or du'd? A group of say, parents at the school gate, you're slightly friendlier with some than others. Did you du them, I wouldn't be able to remember! (German A level, French GCSE)

JaneEyreAgain · 21/04/2019 07:49

In my experience French speakers are very quick to correct errors. . I find it horribly awkward.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 21/04/2019 07:52

@Rockbird
With the parents of my DD's classmates (we've spent about 10 years together) I use "Du" - we did a lot of work and party-ing together.
My office is a "Du" place as well.

Yesterday my DD's tutor and I decided on using "Du" (she used 'du' then corrected herself and I said it's OK - problem here: her role is "just finished her studies - considerably younger - a teacher - female" and my role "parent - employer- considerbly older - female").

YorkieTheRabbit · 21/04/2019 10:05

We lived in Spain for a while, most people didn’t seem to mind if we got confused. One neighbour would correct me, she didn’t speak English at all but always tried to help with my Spanish, especially pronunciation.
The one time we or rather DP caused much hilarity and confusion, was when he kept wishing people a Happy New Anus instead of year Grin
We have Polish friends who get mixed up with words. One has asked me to correct her due to an embarrassing incident when she asked for two cocks while we were in a cafe Blush