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Original poster

Having to remind husband to cut the sodding grass is doing my head in

57 replies

Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 12:58

Why cant he just.do.it?

My mum paid a gardener to do it for the rest cut of the year. 6 weeks have passed and its not cut. I mentioned it after 2 weeks and said it was a dry day so a good day to cut it. Didn't happen. Another 4 weeks on and it's still not done. I hear all the lawnmowers going in the village but not ours :(
I cut the grass every 2 weeks all last year, I think he did it once..maybe!
Yesterday I was off and I absolutely did a full deep clean of the house. I'm 22 weeks pregnant we both work full time/same hours.
This morning he got up at 9am I stayed in bed to 10.30. When I came down he was sitting in the living room, all the curtains closed watching fucking Netflix. It's all he does unless we have plans. So i mention doing the grass and he gives me a "mmhmm" response. He gets up and I'm thinking oh great he is gona do it! No, he goes for a shower and has gone into town to get a haircut. Ughhh
I have been out planting seeds and picking weeds but my back is sore, I'm not and tired. I'm fed up!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 13:23

Also maybe forget the pond - it's the last thing you want with young children around. ive said this! But at the rate he's going we'll have a teen before it's done!

He may have added it to a mental to do list. But i also said I would like to go to the city to mothercare and spend vouchers we have that will expire soon and have a lunch out. So if we do that we will get home and he won't be arsed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 13:28

He's had a week off on annual leave but still hasn't managed to cut the bloody grass. honestly that is so annoying!! That's what my husband is like. Hed spend 6.5 days on the sofa then on his last .5 day he'd have to do the job and then be annoyed. Using up his last half day to actually do something productive. Hope you get better soon @ShannonRockallMalin

OP posts:
justasking111 · 20/04/2019 13:29

Do you have a dad or FIL that could help out. My FIL was a great hand in the garden when my OH was working 15 hour days in the summer. My OH helps out the kids with their homes, gardens, he would be round like a shot to do your little jobs. The other grandad is the same. Sometimes you need to look to the older generation.

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ScrambledSmegs · 20/04/2019 13:31

Mowing the grass is a pita. DH bought a robot mower when we moved to a house with a garden. It sounds nuts but honestly - best gadget ever. It has a little charging station and trundles about merrily whilst we do other stuff. Our neighbours laughed at first, now they're all getting them.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 13:34

justasking111 think this is another point...my dad is a do-er. Never sits down, always has a project on the go. Building some, making stuff, enhancing stuff. So growing up with that now i comoare my husband to him and hes just notup to scracth there!
My parents are renovating a house so have too much on but he would help if i asked although seems crazy to me to get him to come 30 mins away to cut grass when my husband could easily do it but is just being lazy about it.
Fil is not close by at all so deffo can't help

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 13:34

ScrambledSmegs was it expensive?

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 20/04/2019 13:43

It was expensive but we've got a big expanse of lawn so got the biggest available- the other option was a ride-on mower. Also, DH is a gadget fiend and likes to research and get the 'top' product regardless of whether we actually need it!

Ours is Husqvarna, I know that Gardena also do good ones, I think the companies are linked somehow.

ScrambledSmegs · 20/04/2019 13:44

i have to say that the time it's saved has been priceless.

Gottalovesummer · 20/04/2019 13:52

Hi OP, no advice on the lawn mowing but please don't get a pond with a baby on the way. They're far too tempting and dangerous for toddlers.

PrincessButtockUp · 20/04/2019 14:02

Our house came with a pond, I wouldn't have chosen one. We fenced round it when DD came along. Over the years she has had a great time with daddy, learning about pond skaters, newts, tadpoles etc. Now she's older we are just un-fencing it. She was never unsupervised in the garden though because you can't see it from the house (odd layout) so we managed it quite easily.

MamaRaisingBoys · 20/04/2019 14:02

Cancel the Netflix subscription and put the money towards a gardener? Grin (only half joking!)

Our gardener does our large back garden and small front garden for £16 every two weeks

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 14:18

I honestly don't want the pond. But I'm aware we live together here jointly and he has a right to put one in if he wants one. But I have stated they are dangerous and we'd need to put a barrier around it and mesh on top. Can't see how that will look attractive and I'm quite sure as soon as he puts the coy in it, we will have a heron around here having it's lunch in no time.
However, because of his nature it's only in the early stages in beong dug I cannot see it being completed anytime soon. Maybe I'll turn it into a vegetable patch and say he had his chance, now it's my turn.

He's just told me he will have a sandwich and then do the grass otherwise it won't get done today. No shit Sherlock. Anyhoo hallelujah the grass will be cut :)

Will look into the robot mowers!

OP posts:
PoliticalBiscuit · 20/04/2019 14:18

Communicate with him, agree an amount together you both think is reasonable to mow it and then suggest he schedules it in his calendar following that routine so he wont need you to remind him so often.

Ask him if he really wants his personal life managed the rest of his life? And that if he does the priorities you will set him might differ from his own.

Urgh, what a child!

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 14:21

PoliticalBiscuit yep. It's just annoying that I actually have to do that. We are adults, we own a house, he should do his share in taking pride in it!

OP posts:
FiremanKing · 20/04/2019 14:23

A proper grid that will take the weight of an adult falling in -

www.ecodeck.biz/diomandeck-pond-safety-cover/

happyhillock · 20/04/2019 14:23

I pay a gardner £15 every 2 weeks to cut my grass, i have a large garden it need's cut every 2 week's

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 14:25

Oh dear I'm watching him getting annoyed and huffing and puffing about hitting big chunks of thick grass and he's having to empty it loads! Well, if it was shorter this wouldn't have happened... Honestly. It's just common sense

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Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 14:26

Thanks firemanking.

Yeh I'll check with mum how much the gardener she got was.

OP posts:
Harebel · 20/04/2019 14:36

Best way to deal with this in future, and I hope he pulls his weight more once the baby is here, is to mention it once if necessary, give it the requisite amount of time you think he could need to do it in and after that time has elapsed, book a gardener to do it. That's if he still hadn't made a start obvs!

It's the only way.

Also I hate to say it but there's no point asking yourself why he doesn't notice that job needs doing and compare him to you noticing or your dad being a do-er.

Some people get things done; some prefer to watch tv and sounds like your DP is the latter.

madcatladyforever · 20/04/2019 14:44

I'd be bloody pissed off too OP it would be so nice if they could just get off their arse and do it especially when you are pregnant. My husband never used to go near the garden ever even when I was struggling with slipped discs. I mow my grass every week. Otherwise the garden looks a mess.

wittyusermane · 20/04/2019 14:58

I really want a robot mower after reading this. They are all really expensive though!

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 14:58

I know there's no point in comparing but I just do, internally.

There's now but tufts of cut grass everywhere and he's put the mower away and is now going to take the whole garden to lift the cut grass. Insanity. Hed have been completely finished and a nice job done plus less work if he did it 2 or 3 weeks ago.

OP posts:
WalterIris · 20/04/2019 15:45

Whilst i think he should just do it. If its going to cause such a headache and hassle, I Would definitely look into a gardener coming. especially with a baby due, you will both have less time. Maybe once per month would be enough to keep it at bay, and then between you in between

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 20/04/2019 15:55

If its dine wvery two weeks it can be finished in 20 mins! It's disappointing to have to resort to pay someone when we have the ways and means to do it for free, since we already have the mower. It's just wasteful.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 20/04/2019 17:09

I do mine twice a week in the summer but dh has to start the mower because I can’t. Also I’m not pregnant so it’s no effort.

I would look into robo mowers otherwise you’ve got years of this & it'll just cause arguments.