Toddler gym class today - am I too fat?

[ifigoup]

DH and I are both significantly overweight, him more so than me, and I am determined not to let history repeat with DC. I have lost a lot of weight in the past and kept it off for about 5 years, but since then it’s crept back up (following bereavement and some mild health problems), and I am currently still in a fatter phase.

I am trying to be more active to model good habits for DC (DC not aware of the crap I often eat!), and have signed us up for a toddler gym / tumbling class where the parents also take part. The first one is today.

I am really in two minds about this. On the one hand, I think anyone who mocks fat people for trying to get healthier is a bit of a twat, and that it’s not illegal to be fat, and that I should be proud of us / myself for doing this.

On the other hand, I worry the reality is that the class will be full of skinny strong yoga people who just feel sad and sorry for me (and for DC for having fat parents like us).

Please can I have a bit of moral support and reassurances that it will probably be fine, that I will be able to do the exercises, and that if I can’t it’s not the end of the world - and that modelling a positive active lifestyle is a good thing for DC even if I’m not as good at it as I should be?

Go for it! Sounds like a great class, I’d love to do this with DD! Great way to have fun together and exercise at the same time.

You’re not going there to make friends, so who cares what they think? I say this as someone who is also (5 stone) overweight. You’ve lost weight before and you can do it again - this could help!

You aren't happy with your size, and you are taking steps to change it. Be proud of yourself. Go to the class, very likely nobody will judge/care and if they do they have bigger problems being so mean spirited/judgy so forget them.

Well done, and enjoy your class.

You will be fine!! Stop judging yourself and just enjoy the class with DC, not everyone there will be slim and fit trust me!

Your doing a great thing for DC, growing up my parents didn't let us eat rubbish constantly but my mum never controlled my portion sizes and by the time i was 14 I was 14 stone. Id never let my DD get like that, its just cruel.

Go for it and hold your head up high. There will always be idiots around that judge people's weight but the vast majority of people don't.

Most people have been a range of weights in their life so don't judge. Personally I always feel bloody guilty I am not exercising when I see someone doing it irrespective of their weight.

There may well be a couple of skinny yoga types, but there will doubtless also be plenty of mums present who do not fit that descriptor (possibly even some dads! Optimistic feminist hat on there ). You will be fine. If you struggle with the exercises then remember that a) everyone finds such things confusing in the first class and b) we all think we're being looked at way way more than we are.

You'll be fine. Have fun!

Go for it, good on you!
As you say, sure there will be a few knobheads along the way but know you're doing the right thing for your family.
A friend of mine used to encourage me to get my top off in the sun..."brown flab's better than white flab!"

Smile and be friendly to the other parents and kids and it's likely they'll remember you as being nice and friendly rather than anything else. If they judge you for being overweight they're not worth a moment of your life anyway.

Are you sure you take part? At the ones I've been to the parents are involved but it is more that they go round the equipment helping the kids balance, help do the actions in the welcome song etc. Parents are not expected to do forward rolls or anything (the equipment is all tiny for a start!)

Go for it. It’s a really positive thing to do for you and your child. I really like to think people wouldn’t be arseholes enough to be anything other than nice.

Fuck em.

Well done on deciding to change the path for your DC. It is so rewarding to watch and know they will never face the same struggles, yes there will be other struggles but at least one "karma" has been put to bed permanently. (Speaking from experience)

So anyway fuck em and enjoy yourself!

TimeForDuggee: yes, the parents definitely take part! It’s a kind of tumbling / circus skills thing where the kids and adults do balances, resistance, lifts etc. together!

I should think that parents will be occupied with their offspring to notice who’s wearing what etc.

There will be people of all shapes and sizes and others there with the same intention as you.

Just make sure you wear practical clothing so you are comfortable.

Good on you for knowing that your DC needs to learn healthy habits from an early age and getting involved, there are many parents who would let their fears get in the way. I really hope you both enjoy it x

I think it sounds like a great class. I can't imagine even noticing other parents weight in that situation to be honest. Hope you enjoy it!

I can honestly say the weight of other Mums at a toddler group has NEVER crossed my mind. Nobody notices or cares.

That sounds like great fun! Enjoy!

Sounds great. I'm skinny and still find it hard dragging myself to exercise a lot of the time so respect anyone making the effort, regardless of size. In fact it's probably more impressive to go and do it if you're feeling overweight so well done and enjoy!

Your doing a great thing for DC, growing up my parents didn't let us eat rubbish constantly but my mum never controlled my portion sizes and by the time i was 14 I was 14 stone. Id never let my DD get like that, its just cruel.

Interestingly my mum did control my portion sizes, and was always acutely aware of my weight. I was always hungry and asking for more would be met with disaproval and “you can’t be hungry, you’ve just had dinner”. Once i got to teen years i would sneak food or buy my own. I did a lot of exercise so never got much over 9.5 st until i had children, but my relationship with food is fucked. I’m 11st now as i’m inactive but i still do things like hoard treats, eat once daily but a big portion so i feel really full.

My own dd’s eat healthily but i don’t control portion size at all. But i have a very firm rule that they do not have to clear their plates, they stop eating when full. I still see people coaxing kids to have “3 more spoonfuls then you can have pudding”. They will quite often leave a portion of their meal. They also do a lot of sport so are not even slightly overweight.

O/p activity is key. There will be all shapes and sizes there- i started my dd out at a parent and toddler gym class as she was a nutter, now she’s an elite athlete! My local gym club have started doing adult classes i’m thinking about as it was so much fun..

Go along and just concentrate on having fun with your DD.

As a pp said you're not there to make friends, but have you considered how invigorating it is to make enemies? Or annoying people by simply existing? Go for it!

People there will have their own issues. I’m a ‘skinny type’ but I hate some of my features and if I went to a class like that I would have to talk myself up and be brave and try not to worry that people were looking at me. Normally when I do that I push through and it’s fine but I do understand the anxiety.
You sound like a great Mum - be proud of yourself & enjoy the class with your little one.

DisgraceToTheY: I think there’s something in that, actually! Thanks!

Thank you to the rest of you for encouraging me to buck my ideas up, too... off to put my big girl ActiveWear on...

Anyone who is judgy is an arse. Simple as that.

Update: it was super-fun; nobody was mean; we even learned to do a thing where I flip DC upside down and over my head!

Sounds like it was great. Glad you had fun.