Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Coping mechanisms for a tough day as a SAHP

35 replies

zigyzagyzigzag · 19/04/2019 12:19

Imagine you are a stay at home parent. It has been a long week with an unwell child. You weren't able to go to any baby groups, or meet friends, as child wasn't well enough and likely contagious. You haven't slept well or had much time off in the evenings as child keeps waking and only wants you.

It's 3pm. Ages until bedtime. You both need to get changed before you can leave the house, as clothes are covered in food and snot. You're not sure where you'd even go anyway.

What do you do to get through the rest of day that isn't eating a bunch of cake/ chocolate? This situation comes up way too often with a germy little toddler and I need a better coping mechanism.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 19/04/2019 12:21

Just get changed and take that walk. You can always change back into the mucky clothes and save your pristine ones for another day, when you get back. You'd both feel better for some fresh air and a change of scene, though.

Shazafied · 19/04/2019 12:22

Stick a coat on them, wipe the worst off their face, get out to a big open space where they are unlikely to pass on germs (park?) and treat myself to a coffee while I’m out.

Shazafied · 19/04/2019 12:22

*i day coffee , I mean coffee and CAKE

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
ValiaH · 19/04/2019 12:23

I would go for a walk in the mucky clothes, then go past a shop on the way back, buy cake and chocolate, and have a snuggly film time for the rest of the afternoon

Shazafied · 19/04/2019 12:24

I really try not to let the rigmarole of getting ready to go out stop me. I know how daunting it seems just getting out the door but it’s so so much better once you are out.

gotmychocolateimgood · 19/04/2019 12:27

Yes definitely get out then put kids in the bath and pj's when you get in. Loads of TV and snacks. Good luck OP, I've been there and it's grim.

moreismore · 19/04/2019 12:30

Plant in front of tv for 30 mins while you have caffeine and carbs in peace. Then deep breath and get out of the house. Gin when they’re in bed.

MrsPerfect12 · 19/04/2019 12:48

Gin lots of gin! Joking aside
Duvet and Movie. Or walk in Pram if small enough.

Hope your LO is better soon.

mummyofdaughters · 19/04/2019 12:52

Thank my lucky stars I don't have to hold down a job as well as being a parent, stick on a coat, go to the park and playground.

GlossyTaco · 19/04/2019 12:55

Plenty of coffee and a nice walk.

Watch a funny boxset.

SarahAndQuack · 19/04/2019 13:01

Can you trust toddler in the bath with you? I routinely run a bath in the middle of the day and we both get in, let her splash around, but if I'm lucky I can read a bit of a book or at least get the aches out of my shoulders. Then we're both clean(er), and I got to lie down for ten minutes.

I sometimes plonk DD in the car, put something on to listen to that I like, and drive the circuitous route towards the play park. Or even just round through somewhere pretty. It seems to keep her reasonably happy even if we don't actually get to the park.

Definitely also a vote for snuggling up in bed with the laptop. If you are sneaky you can plug in an earphone and listen to something that isn't Biggleton, too. Win!

But sympathies. I spent yesterday with vomit-machine DD who only wanted to be cuddled and held, from 7am to 6pm when my partner got in. DD took one outraged look at me, slapped me away, and wailed 'MAMMMMMAAAAA!' as if she'd been chained in the cupboard under the stairs all day. Gratitude. Hmm

OutComeTheWolves · 19/04/2019 13:10

For the really long days, I try to pretend I'm running a really shit nursery and timetable my day.

So lazy morning (ie tv on & me playing on my phone after breakfast). Then spend a while getting dressed including a long bath. Then I make sure I have something free planned for after lunch that gets us out of the house usually a trip to a park or a walk. Back home by three and I'll probs stick a film on so by the time it finishes it'll be tea time, story time then bed.

I also find 3 o'clock the worst time for the same reasons you said ie the day has been going on for ages but it's still hours until bedtime. I think the worst thing you can do is your 'main activity' in the morning because you end up back home by half 11 with the rest of the day stretching out ahead of you.

Michaelbaubles · 19/04/2019 13:15

I’d make myself a coffee and stick the toddler in the bath with lots of toys for an hour while I had a sit down next to the bath with a book/MN. Can kill a surprising amount of time and has the advantage of making bedtime quicker. Bring up some toys that aren’t usually used in the bath, or some pots/pans/jugs for maximum play value. Very little input needed from you and an occupied, clean child. And it’s free. Win/win.

GrouchyKiwi · 19/04/2019 13:17

How old is the toddler? If I really didn't want to drag us out of the house then I'd either run a bubble bath for playing purposes (you can make this last an hour or so) or have a dance party. My 2-year-old really loves the dance parties.

Shazafied · 19/04/2019 13:17

I think the worst thing you can do is your 'main activity' in the morning because you end up back home by half 11 with the rest of the day stretching out ahead of you.

Totally agree ! Annoyingly ALL the parent toddler groups around here are over by 11.30. Whyyyyyyyyyy!!

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 13:18

We normally do garden time at around three. Then four ISH onwards cook dinner to eat at five. Cooking dinner also involves tidying toys, hoovering up, emptying dishwasher. All of which toddler helps me with. Early 5.00 dinner, including tidying up and faffing about. Loooong bath at six, including tidying away washing. Story at 6.45. then bed. And no jobs after bed time.

That's just me..
I have a 2y3m Ds and 1y3m ds.
We keep afternoons quiet and low key

FlaviaAlbia · 19/04/2019 13:18

Same as Michaelbaubles, put an hour in by running a bath and letting them play in it with their toys. It has the added benefit that it'll wash the snot off too.

Original poster
zigyzagyzigzag · 19/04/2019 13:26

I think I'm doing baths all wrong. They never last very long here. Maybe I need better toys?

OP posts:
Original poster
zigyzagyzigzag · 19/04/2019 13:35

Thanks for all the suggestions. Toddler is 1y4m.

@sarahandquack you've reminded me of one of my in-times-of-desperation activities. Hang out in the car. Literally we climb in, lock the doors and hang out. Toddler can climb all over, push all the buttons and levers, empty the glove compartment and generally poke at all the stuff that can't be reached when strapped into a car seat.

OP posts:
HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 15:22

Is your toddler walking OP? My 1y4m is still crawling so I find that harder as he doesn't like the pushchair as much as he used to

DelurkingAJ · 19/04/2019 15:31

The activities all run in the morning so those with DC at school can come too. (I asked this too when faced with the same issue).

Activities for poorly but not too sick toddlers:

  • bath (still works when I have a grumpy 6 year old to pacify)
  • puddle jumping (if it’s rained) or a walk to the nearest cafe for coffee and cake
  • garden centre (if not infectious) (plus coffee and cake)
  • water painting (literally a bucket of clean water, a big brush and a wall or fence to ‘paint’)
  • picnic tea on a rug in the garden (with attending soft toys as required)

It’s awful! I love work so much when they’re ill (our CM takes them regardless). Good luck!

Original poster
zigyzagyzigzag · 19/04/2019 17:49

He is walking yes. He doesn't walk to places, like he wouldn't walk along a pavement, but he can run around a playground.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 19/04/2019 17:54

Toddlers also love a car wash...

ComedicCat · 19/04/2019 18:00

When I saw this thread my first thought was wine and fags Grin (after the dcs dad has taken over obs)

Mummylovesbags · 19/04/2019 18:02
  • Let him have an extra long bath with toys etc and feed dinner or weetbix (if he’s not eating much as unwell) in bath for dinner.
Read books, play dough and watch cartoons in between.
  • Take for a walk to park and if you’re about to implode then listen to a podcast on the way on low video so you can chime in and talk to him.
  • Go for long walk and let eat sushi or something easy for dinner in pram.
  • take sandpit toys to local park and sit back with coffee while plays
  • let go on scooter while you chase