Tips for how to tell my pre-schooler she's going to a different school to her friends?

[RubaiyatOfAnyone]

Needless to say we did not get our top choice for our DD's primary school, which was the school she is at nursery at. We in fact got the fourth choice, which is a bit crappy but our closest (the difference is 300 metres).

It is what it is, and we just have to get on with it, but I was wondering if any of you helpful folk could give me any tips on how to make this sound positive and exciting for my DD when i tell her? She is not even 4 until June, and although very articulate I think she will be naturally upset at being separated from some very close friendships.

I would be straightforward in my explanation and say that it is a great school and she will meet lots of new children. Talk positively about her primary school too.
It is ok for her to feel/be upset this builds resilience for future disappointments.
This will all be forgotten once she has settled in to her new school.

Just mention it positively and casually.
As PP said, I wouldn’t try to protect her too much from the normal disappointments of life. She’s only 3, she’ll only pick up on how you portray it.

Try not to let her see that you are upset about it.. they are scarily perceptive! Be as positive as you can
Contact her new school and ask if you can take her to visit so she can see it and make a huge deal about all the nice toys, playground etc.
Also, find out if the teacher will be doing a home visit before she starts (some school do this, some don't for Reception).
Schools are used to this situation and will be very supportive (EY teacher here!)

Unless you make a big fuss, how will she know that “all” her friends will be together. She will make new friends in reception.

My daughter went to a different primary school to her preschool friends (although admittedly her brothers were already at the primary school so it wasn't unfamiliar to her). I put a positive spin on it and assured her she'd make new friends. I also said that she could still see her old friends outside of school, but to be honest she was never really bothered once she'd made new friends. She's seven now and very occasionally says "do you remember so and so from Preschool?" yet I can ask her the same question and get a blank look... Kids are fickle
I agree with pp, arrange a visit to the school and get her excited about it. She will be fine.

See if you can contact other families whose child will be starting. I know I've seen facebook posts on my local group about park meet ups for anyone starting at xxxx school. Maybe you could instigate one. Help your daughter get to know children who will be going to her school then she will be going with her friends!

Our school has a Facebook group for all the year groups. Have a search and see what you can find. We then arranged a few playdates over the summer.

New, different, extra friends is a good spin. DS went (still does) to school with most of his nursery friends. Within a couple of weeks he’d palled up with 2 people he hadn’t met before. He’s now Y5 and his best friends are people who both moved into the school in Y1/Y2. Your friends when you are 3 are not necessarily your friends when you are 5, 6, 7...

Ds1 doesn't remember any of his pre school friends. He's been happy at Primary. I think mums overthink these things!

I wouldn’t say anything.
Talk to her over the summer about her new school and new friends.
I think you will create a problem by telling her.

Absolutely no one she knows will be there? My daughter's school is not a popular one, luckily one other girl from her nursery got a place there. As mentioned up thread, a local soft play does lots of stay and play sessions for different schools (but not ours, most of the parents are a bit slack, hence it not being a popular school due to poor results).

We were in this situation 2 years ago, you don't need to make it a 'thing' just tell her in September she'll be at an exciting new school with exciting new friends. I told my DS that his nursery had finished and he wasn't concerned at all about what school his other friends were going to.

It's much, much worse for the parents, I was devastated for my DS. Thankfully he settled quickly and made loads of new friends who he has great relationships with, he still has play dates with his old friends. He doesn't seem to care that they're all in the same class at school when he sees them.

It'll be fine in the end, it's always difficult to settle into new situations but in a few years this won't even be an issue.

Thank you all, I knew I could rely on MN for a breath of common sense.

In my defense, I'm in the very early stages of a pregnancy that might not be happening, I have to wait a week for a further scan and blood tests to see if there's any hope, so I'm hormonal and emotional and stressed right now and it seems to have tipped me over the edge into being 'that' mother. When the school allocation email came through i absolutely bawled (obviously, not in front of DD).

I've never been on FB so I'm afraid I don't know how that works, but I will definitely contact the new school and see if they do any settling in or getting-to-know sessions. I've no idea if any of her current class are going there (as the results come out in the Easter holidays), but i doubt it - a large number have older siblings at the old school and several more seem to live within 20 yards of the school gate.

I think I need to wait a bit until i'm totally in control of myself and then you're right - start talking about the exciting new big school, and new friends that she's going to have.