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Original poster

Worried I don’t love my baby

7 replies

HarryPotterFan436 · 17/04/2019 23:57

I had a baby 6 months ago and I don’t think I love him. I go through the motions, feeding, changing, cuddling etc but I just feel detached. I don’t feel the love is there. Objectively my baby is very sweet, smiley and excited to see me, but I feel so distant. What is wrong with me? Shouldn’t the love have kicked in by now? I didn’t expect it to be instant but surely after 6 months I should be feeling it.

OP posts:
Original poster
HarryPotterFan436 · 18/04/2019 07:04

Bump

OP posts:
TulipFever · 18/04/2019 07:06

It’s way later than that for many women. It certainly was for me. Rule out PND by talking to your GP, but otherwise, don’t panic.

Mississippilessly · 18/04/2019 07:07

Hello
I would go and see your GP. This sound like it could be PND. Or, it might just be that you are taking longer to bond with your baby. Go and have a chat with them and see, there is no shame in developing PND but it's really important to get it addressed if that is what it is

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Original poster
HarryPotterFan436 · 18/04/2019 08:01

Thank you for the replies. I guess PND wouldn’t surprise me as I am feeling quite anxious generally. I am waiting for counselling for the anxiety but it’s a 3-6 month waiting list. No one has suggested I may have PND.

OP posts:
ChilliMum · 18/04/2019 08:10

Please see your gp or speak to your health visitor. I was you and it was awful.

It took a lovely health visitor to point out to me that I did love my ds, she said the whole time I was talking she could see how much I cared about him, that I had been stroking his leg and kissing his little head.

It came as a shock as i felt nothing inside but that's because I did love him but was unable to feel it myself if that makes sense like my emotional receptors were blocked.

Just understanding that really helped loosen the guilt and feelings of failure and allowed me to start getting better (although it still took time). It was only once I was better I could really feel how numb I had been and how strong my feelings of love are for my wonderful ds.

hidinginthenightgarden · 18/04/2019 08:11

Other than visiting your GP, have plenty of skin to skin with baby. Swimming and baby massage are good ways of helping bond.

Needallthesleep · 18/04/2019 08:35

I don’t think I felt a feeling of love until about a year, and I didn’t have PND. It takes a while.

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