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Workplace birthdays - mine was ignored, advice needed

6 replies

TheStarling · 17/04/2019 20:58

Hi. Advice needed. In the place where I work (very small office only a few people), last June we started recognising each others birthdays by doing a card and everyone signing it, we also put a couple of pounds in to buy our the co worker who's birthday it is a little gift. I've put in to all colleagues collections & signed the card since we started. My birthday was on April 4th and was completely ignored. My colleagues knew when it was, it was noted on the calendar, they even asked how it was. But nothing. I wasn't too upset because I thought maybe we were not doing it anymore and did not even mention it. Today, I went out shopping and asked if anyone wanted anything. A colleague asked me to buy a birthday card for a colleague who's birthday it is at the end of April and to start up a collection. I went to the supermarket, duly bought the card. However I do now feel extremely hurt (I don't want to come across as some sort of spoilt child). I'm liked in the office, get on well with everyone. Baring in mind mine only birthday overlooked by colleagues, what shall I do because, actually, I feel quite hurt by it all. Shall I just not bother to put in to future collections and sign cards? Need some advise as I don't really want to ask 'why did you ignore my birthday?' and come across as rude. Please help.

OP posts:
faffymcfaffer · 17/04/2019 21:03

I think the only approach here is a direct one. Is there someone in the office who tends to be the organiser of these whip rounds? If so I would approach them and just ask "Did I do something to offend? Only I wondered why my birthday was ignored?"

If you don't ask, you will never know. It's a very odd thing to do especially if they knew when it was, I don't blame you for being upset by it.

Redglitter · 17/04/2019 21:05

When you're next asked for money I'd say you assumed that cards etc had been stopped since your birthday had passed.

I'd definitely say something

BackforGood · 17/04/2019 21:09

Well, it would have been better to do it on your birthday, but just ask.

"Look colleagues, is there a reason why I got nothing for my birthday, when I thought the new agreement was that everyone got a card and a little gift ?"

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TheStarling · 17/04/2019 21:13

Hi, not one specific person. But we always make a thing of presenting the card and gift at some point in the day when everyone is around.

OP posts:
CantStopMeNow · 18/04/2019 14:23

Why did you agree to get the card?
You could have taken that moment to say "oh - are we still doing bday cards/gifts for colleagues then?"
They have been very blatant about leaving you out of this 'group' so don't play their game.
When they come asking you for money just say "No thanks, i'll pass".
If anyone dares comment on it or give you any attitude then be blunt about it.

FluffySocks123 · 18/04/2019 15:06

I wouldn't sign any cards, be buying any cards / presents or giving money for the whole year

When they ask why "oh, no one bothered for my birthday so didn't think we was doing that anymore" and just look at them .....

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