Hello, I’ve NC for this because I’ve spoken to a few friends who I know are on here.
After years of living with a man child who seems to be incapable of doing anything for himself I’ve decided to leave. I believe his mum babied him too much and now at 29 years old he just relies on me for everything and our relationship has become more parent-child than romantic as I’m always having to harp on to get him to do simple adult tasks such as pay bills or put his own clothes in the basket instead of the floor next to the basket. We have two sons aged 7 and 1 and he just does nothing. I am working part time and studying for a degree as well as doing everything around the house, all school and nursery pick ups and drop offs, all his personal admin (tax returns, doctors and dentist appointments his families cards and presents). He works 11am - 6pm mon- fri. He doesn’t drive and has refused to start lessons so it falls on me to take him to and from work on top of everything else. It’s always been like this and I don’t know why I’ve let it go on so long.
Anyway, I’ve found somewhere to live with the children where I can continue working and studying and they can continue in the same school / nursery. The only problem is this-
We currently private rent. Our tenancy is about to be renewed so i’m going to ask the landlord to remove me from the next agreement. The landlord is DPs old boss. We’ve lived in his house for 2 years and paid rent weekly every week without fail. However I’m worried that when I get removed from the agreement the landlord will stop DP living there / worry he’s unreliable which he is but I know he will always pay his rent. If he doesnt get the tenancy agreement renewed with just him, he will be homeless as he has no family around and his friends won’t have space for him to even sofa surf.
You might be thinking not my problem but because I work early three mornings a week, he will have to have our children the nights before because I wont be able to get childcare that early in a morning (3am -7am). If he isn’t able to keep the house, it will screw me over as well as the children. I want to know that when he has them they are safe somewhere they know and are used to.
I might be making something of nothing, but I’m just wondering if I contact the landlord to say I know he will pay his rent as he has done for the last 9 years we’ve been living together, but IF anything happens and he doesn’t, to ask me for that weeks rent. Sort of like a guarantor but I have a bad credit file after messing up in my teenage years so couldn’t be an official guarantor. Do any of you as landlords or just as mumsnetters, think that asking the landlord for this arrangement would give him a higher chance of keeping the tenancy for a few years? Or would it make the landlord think he wouldn’t pay the rent?
I don’t know what to do for the best here because if he looses the house, he doesn’t have anywhere to go and as the father of my children would have to stay on our sofa or something but the whole reason I’m leaving is to get away from that! What would you do? I have a good amount of savings for if he ends up not paying at any point anyway and wouldn’t mind paying a week of his rent if it meant my kids keep their stability! Or even pay for both mine and his longterm it wouldn’t bother me that much