What to do?

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Ds1 (aged 14) just told ds (aged 12) to shut up and fuck off. And told her looking at her makes him want to throw up.

I'm utterly sick of him and his vile behaviour towards her.

He's in counselling. He's been angry most of his life. Every counsellor he's had think he's marvellous.

I've confiscated his iPhone and tablet for his behaviour. He is now rampaging round the house looking for them. Threatening me with boiling water - only saying he'll pour boiling water on me.

Ds2 and ds3 trying to sleep.

Ds1 thinks he can say or do anything.

Dh is away.

He's quite scary.

He keeps telling me to fuck off and that I'm a prick.

Try not to get angry, try to get Ds to sit down to talk, speak very calmly and ask him what he would think if you or others spoke to him in the same way. If this doesn't work ask him to go out for a walk for 30 mins or get someone like GM on the phone to him.

I have. He's ignoring me. Put death metal on the Alexa, got some cereal and walked out.

So he is eating, good, hangry issues dealt with. Death metal - aggression perhaps being dissipated. Walked out? Into bedroom? Try to pick your battles and pick your moment, he is pushing the boundaries at home to see what he can get away with outside. He also sounds that he needs to do some sport, rugby, judo?

He does sport. Every day at school.

Outside of school he does karate, trampoline and snowboarding.

We had a big pasta supper at7.30pm. He's not hangry.

I'm just trying to help. Ds's 16 and 23 will sit down to a huge roast dinner and 20 minutes later eat a bowl of cereal. If your Ds does all this sport, explain to him that you are the referee in the house and that is final it worked for me at school with a very difficult teenager