So, the Easter holidays are well and truly in full swing (I am a full-time sahm and have 3 dcs.) My middle dc (reception age child) is going through a lot of issues with sharing/playing nicely with others and generally being very defiant; it takes all my energy watching that they don't hurt themselves (through lack of fear etc.) Throw into the mix a toddler, who definitely has no sense of fear and there you have it...absolutely no space, time to myself etc, plus lack of sleep (toddler woke up lots last night) and I'm beginning to feel maxed out. Even when we get out to the park (and we go most days) I usually have to entertain toddler whilst keeping an eye on middle dc. My eldest was not quite like this and because she was on her own, we used to go on lots of day trips together and I actually enjoyed the holidays now quite honestly, the thought of venturing any further than the park fills me with dread (with dc2 mainly). So it is the same old, same old. Second week in (first week was bearable) and I am so fed up with the park, so fed up with the crafts (and glitter explosions), so fed up with the mess (everything being dragged from one room to another by dc2) and messy lunchtimes. It's not helped by the fact that several people I know with older children have had a fab time traipsing half way around the world/skiing etc. or even just visiting friends (I don't have many friends who are parents with children of dc2's age, long and complicated and because of the way dc behaves, I don't go out of my way to instigate things). We have no extended family and dh takes off what time he can from work to support with childcare but obviously he has limited leave. I am going to seek out a holiday club for dc2 in the Summer holidays because I think it would be good for both of us (dc can run off their high energy and be stimulated and I can get out a bit more.) I know school is not a childcare provider but sadly, it does alleviate things quite a bit for me and I hate having to admit it, whereas I cant bring myself to admit to anyone (except my best friend) in real life how really very difficult I find things and kind of put a brave face on things and say, yes it's lovely to have a break from the school run etc. It's different went dh is here, much different, I feel more sane, things are more manageable but dh has to work. I have also recently started on a course of antidepressants because of the feeling of things getting on top of me. I do manage to carve out a bit of time for myself (my dh is good at enabling this) but it never seems to be enough. I am a natural born worrier and I care too much about what other people think too. It is not all dc2's fault, they have very many good qualities but their behaviour has been extremely challenging, right from toddlerhood (but they don't tick all the boxes for any particular condition). Usually I work hard to stay calm with dc but today, after a particularly bad night, I just feel like I'm losing the plot. Anyone else struggling, when normally the school routine keeps you on an even keel because you don't have multiple children in the mix?