Pocket money, genuine opinion needed

[HotChocolateLover]

We are skint. Loads of debt which needs to be paid. We have been talking about how to pay it off. We are cancelling Netflix (sob), Spotify, Audible, reducing our own spends and cutting the kids pocket money. Should save £150 a month if we do ALL. Plus not doing DS child trust fund of £70pcm which takes it up to £220 extra off debts. Anyhow, my question....

My DS lives with us, aged 16. Gets his gym paid by us for £20pcm and £20pcm from grandma. We also give £20pcm to the 2 stepkids. We are thinking of cutting the pocket money but I feel a bit mean because I know the step kids get at least a tenner a week from their mum.

I just don’t want to look as though we’re favouring my DS. Would it look like that? I genuinely don’t know what to do. He doesn’t get cash from us, just the gym. Is that different? So torn 😥 want to be debt free and know it is all our fault.

I don't know what to say. Just felt moved to say that you sound like a lovely step-parent.

Thanks, much appreciated.

I think you need to treat all the kids the same.
Make the cuts you need to in other areas but keep the kids pocket money the same. Whatever their mum is doing has no bearing on what you do - either way your ds is getting more as your parents are also giving money so arguably the same as the step kids in the long run

Good luck with getting debt free!

If you really are struggling, cutting pocket money might have to be done unfortunately. If your 16 YO wants more spends than his £20 from Grandma, and the gym paid for, he could get a part time job, he should probably have one anyway at that age to pay for gym, phone etc.

Have you had advice on your debts? Made sure the interest is frozen or transferred to 0% cards if you're still in a position to do so. Mainly because many people struggle on for years, getting nowhere due to interest and charges, so you may need advice on what's the best approach.

DS is planning on getting a job after his GCSE’s so sometime in June. He’s actually really excited about it 😂 Wait til he see’s the reality! Everything is on 0% and managed to negotiate 1 debt to £1 a month for a year which helps to keep them off our back. Just stressing out. It’s not even wild spending on champagne and shoes either. The house needed a full rewire, the bath was about to fall through the celing as the joists were rotten so work needed doing there and the car needed replacing as the old one died 😥 Not our year really.

Why does only one child get a payment into a trust fund? Now you want to take pocket money away from the step children but not your child as it's irrelevant whether it's cash or his gym membership?

All should be treated the same unless you have separate finances and shoulder the full costs of your own children each. I suspect this won't be the case.

It’s up to the step children’s mum whether she pays into the trust fund. He’s my son and I chose to pay in since he was born. DH has only been in his life for 4 years. What they chose to do as a couple re trust funds is nothing to do with me.

I would keep them the same. You might want to cut all back to 10 each but give them some notice so they have the chance to get a summer job before you do.

Are the stepkids old enough to work a bit too? Potwashing etc?

Unfortunately the stepkids are too young to get paid work. On the bright side, we’ve worked out that if we do all the things planned we’ll be able to pay things off 10 months earlier than planned. That’s without taking into account payrise so could be sooner.

Can you cut the gym membership? DS could go for a jog or if you have an outside public gym he could use that?

I agree that gym membership of £40pcm seems quite a lot for a teenager. Could he find cheaper ways of keeping fit (swimming at local pool / parkrun or other running, free school sports clubs)? Then you could cut down the pocket money for all three. Good luck tackling the debt OP!