Does anyone have a child/teen who isn't actively disliked butr

[TisWaswozace]

is never really included.

Lovely DD in Yr 9. Kind, friendly, sociable but doesn't seem to have made friends in high school. She has a group that she hangs around with in school but is never included if they meet up outside of school. Any suggestions she makes to meet up are rebuffed.

She belongs to a sports club but doesn't seem to have made proper friends there.

Anyone else have a sociable teen/child who can't really find anyone to socialise with?

Yes - a lot younger but both of my dds, especially dd2. They are still in primary but neither have super close friends. They get invited to parties but never sleepovers. They get the odd invite but not regularly. Teacher says they are popular enough not to struggle but dd2 especially feels sad.

I have a few theories as to why. They are twins, dd2 is a bit full on and immature. They have moved class each year so never with the same classmates. Dh and I were both the same in primary and one of my friends has a dd who is the same.

I think friendships change and also not everyone has/keeps close friends. My bf throughout school drifted away in 6th form and I formed another friendship group. My best and most sustained friendship is with dh. I am quite social but also quite happy not having a close friendship circle. Most of my friends are similar actually.

I was that kid in secondary school, OP. Was part of quite a popular group at school but it never extended to out-of-school activities so weekends and holidays were spent mainly on my own. I know it bothered my parents more than me; somehow I knew that once I got to uni I would find my tribe and be ok (and I did!), but knowing that my mother especially worried about me socially used to stress me out.

Thanks for replies and I'm glad to hear you found your tribe at uni, Cel And very good point about your mum's worrying stressing you out! DD is laid back and content.

fatpat - hope your girls find their tribe at high school.

By the way, Tiz, that wasn't a dig at your concern for your daughter; I know how hard it is not to worry about our kids' friendships. My DD is only 5 and I still get a fleeting panic if she tells me she didn't have anyone to play with at break time

I just know from my own experience that it wasn't the fact of being a bit of a loner that bothered me the most, but rather the sense from my family and others (although I'm sure completely unwittingly) that being a loner was a bad thing to be.