Help me with my 4yr old!

[OdeToDiazepam]

I feel totally useless and like he's in control.

He won't sleep, he's never been a good sleeper but since moving house especially his sleep is erratic. I try and put him to bed and he wants me to lie with him til he sleeps but can take over an hour! If I leave the room he starts causing mayhem and will hit his older brother to stop him sleeping too!

I think he's overweight but again I struggle to get him to eat healthily, he demands snacks and has huge tantrums and will refuse to walk or scooter for longer than a few minutes and has a meltdown if I won't carry him!

I'm at a loss, I've tried the naughty step and it didn't help much, I can't keep him in his room with a gate or anything.

with the tantrums, i would try a time out corner. pick a specific spot in the house, and when your child is calm (not thrown a tantrum etc) show him what the corner is, and explain that if he does bad things he will get put in time out for 4 minutes (his age.) you need to be consistent with this, every time he throws a tantrum he goes in time out, don't make idle threats about it and not carry through. once he has sat out his four minutes (use a timer with an alarm that he can hear), talk to him about why he was in time out. when you send him to time out, don't give a long winded explanation, instead say 'we don't hit, go to time out'. you can do time out when you are out the house too (and it is best to give the punishment straight away), by sitting on the bench at the park, or in an empty isle in a shop.

for the weight issue, would you consider swimming once or twice a week? its a great form of exercise and you could go in with him once a week, and then he could have a lesson another day a week. things like karate are also a form of exercise that is fun. change4life have loads of healthy meal options link for breakfast, lunch and dinner. try serving his portions on a kids plate rather than an adults one to help portion control. as for snacks, these with some milk in a cup like this make a good snack, as the waffles are made of vegetables. try and only give one snack a day.

all the best x

I think you need to take control. Set the boundaries and then stick to them. To make it easier you can build up to it.

Hitting brother is an absolute no no. Explain that from now on any hitting will result in a toy being confiscated. Follow through. Expect a massive tantrum. Make it easier, by saying it will be confiscated for 10 minutes so you can return it quickly.

Bedtime - explain that you will cuddle for 10 minutes and then it's time for him to relax on his own. Could you get some wireless headphones for him to listen to something on? If he plays up go up, resettle and then go again. Repeat. It might take a few nights, but honestly not many for the change to stick.

You need to literally stick with it for a week, ride through the meltdowns and come out the other side. The poor thing will be so confused and lost by his seeming power and lack of discipline in his life. So healthy eating - you decide the menu, you decide what snacks when (within reason), that's that. With my 3 year old I said I'd spoken to a doctor about his diet and that the doctor said it wasn't enough vegetables and that was that. He was more receptive to that news.

Get your amour on, go through a week of hell and enjoy the results the other side!

Thank you for advice guys I'm starting today!

How's it going Ode?

How’s it going? I would ignore tantrums about snacks. Offer something healthy and if he doesn’t want it tough. Or make a
Snack box for the day, which include a couple of treats and the rest what you want him to have. He gets to choose what he eats when but only the things from the box.

Can’t help with sleep problem. Ds was a bloody nightmare and we had to lie with him til he was about 9 every night, although we did gradually move up sitting on the landing rather than lying in bed.

How's it going OP?

Offer something healthy and if he doesn’t want it tough

This. "Well you're not hungry then are you!" Is a phrase I repeat many times a day. (Mine has SN and can't tell when he's full/remember if he's eaten). "Have a glass of water and come back in half an hour if you're still hungry."