Holidays with young children

[Parttime1]

Before we had children DH and I travelled a lot - not many beach holidays but further flung trekking/ sight seeing holidays. We spent quite a lot of money on them but we could (and still can) afford it.
We now have two pre schoolers (one starting reception in September) and we cannot agree about holidays. Our holiday budget has remained the same but my DH is loathe to spend it. I know holidays change when you have small children but he doesn't see the point in going anywhere expensive or even abroad with young children. Added to that he hates anywhere too touristy (basically he hates other people ) and so large resorts/ centre parcs/ hotels with kids clubs are generally out of the question.
I probably sound really ungrateful but the idea of spending two weeks in a crappy apartment in Devon with the kids (he always insists on going self catering) just doesn't appeal - same shit, different location. Actually, I find it harder work than being at home - not many toys, not the same creature comforts etc. DH is great with the kids and does his fair share of cooking etc so I cannot complain about that - it's just it isn't really a break for me.
I see friends and family going off to exotic places and I feel a pang of jealousy some friends are in Thailand at the moment (we were invited but, vetoed!) and I feel so down that I'm not going to be able to do that again for a very long time. Same with things like skiing (we used to go every year) - I know the children are too young at the moment but he is saying that he doesn't ever want to go with them as it will be too expensive.
Has anyone else been through this? Did their DH come out the other side once the children were older?

I think your DH needs to embrace his new life a bit, if you love travelling you can still have a lovely time going away.
I took DS to Thailand in January and it was great, we all really enjoyed it. He adapted far better to jetlag than we did and straight back into his normal routine when we got back.

Could you try doing a week in a European city so it's less tourist resort but has amenities for children? Amsterdam is meant to be great for children and you could hire an apartment easily.

It certainly will be expensive by the time one or more of them start school and you have to restrict your holidays to the school holidays! My idea of hell is sharing a beach with 500 other families.

We did quite a bit of travelling with DD before she started school (Caribbean, Australia, Singapore, Mauritius...the sort of places where weather wasn't too extreme, hygiene standards are high and we could either stay in villas (with a pool) and drive around by ourselves to places of interest. We also rented cottages in bits of Wales/Northumberland where there are great beaches and walks, but not as many tourists.

You could also look at posher hotels with baby listening and/or creches (small luxury family hotels/Calcot). Try Mr & Mrs Smith Family or Baby-Friendly boltholes. We didn't get round to doing it in the end, but consider Kinder Hotels for skiing.

Sometimes it is much nicer just being away for a couple of days several times rather than being away for a fortnight.

I have some sympathy with your dh - the idea of getting through airports, with 2 pre-schoolers, all the waiting that entails, then trying to keep them from disturbing other people on the plane, then when you get there, having to avoid a lot of the sun to traveled to be in, because it will be too hot for them and not being able to really relax as they are right by a pool etc is not something that ever appealed to me. I also thin a cottage is FAR more relaxing than trying to stop them disturbing others in a hotel or guest house.

However, you could get a gite or campsite or cottage in Brittany or Normandy maybe as a compromise?
Or suggest that some o the 'busdget' he is saving in the next years or so be put aside so you can afford to go skiing as a family when you think they are old enough?

I can see both sides of the argument and have also been there OP. I think you have to accept that holidays with young kids are not always going to be the same or as relaxed as holidays pre kids. However holidays are still important family time and it can be a nice break, although the routine continues just somewhere else.

Planning where to go also involves taking their needs into consideration but it does not mean that you have to go somewhere with lots of other people (although a kids club would be a nice). DH and I have found it works for us to do a private villa or apartment with a pool in somewhere in Europe, walking distance to beach/ cafes and restaurants. DCs need little entertainment as they are happy in the pool or at the beach. We do a mix of eating out and in and enjoy the lovely warm evenings with a glass of once the DC were in bed.

So he's basically too tight to give his children some great experiences (skiing, traveling abroad, seeing other cultures?) I don't get that.

I tick you should push for it if it is what you want. The money is not important, surely better to have good experience than just let the money sit in the bank?

My parents traveled with five children all the time, we went to do many countries, proper traveling ( no resorts etc) spent months at a time exploring different countries, and it shaped who I am today and have me do many experiences that I look back on fondly now.

Center parcs outside of school holidays is pretty quiet and the kids will love it!

We just did butlins which before kids we would never have considered in a million years but the kids had the time of their lives!

Sounds like you have a canny budget so look for a posh family friendly hotel with a creche etc. Maybe portugal or somewhere less touristy than spain.

You can still do the off the beaten track stuff with kids - we went to Alaska with ours at that age! You do things a bit differently, take breaks in local parks etc but essentially it's still travel. Within the U.K. there's amazing places and options far better than an apartment. Show him the Hilton near aviemore - in winter it's near to skiing (lessons in English, ofsted daycare, nhs so no insurance and drivable) in summer it's an adventure playground - great family suites, kids used to eat free and self catering option too.

If I was in your shoes I would go to Greece this year, it's not overly adventurous, not too expensive and they love kids -ease dh back into holidays, or do a road trip through France and Spain?

We are off to Thailand with two young children at Christmas time. I have to say that I’m the one who is feeling quite dubious about the incredibly long flights and changes to routine. I’m sure my DS 3 will be the one who is being vocal on the plane when everyone is trying to sleep! It’s expensive, but you can’t really put a price on experiences so I’ve agreed to this as a test-holiday. If it all goes pear shaped, it will be holidays in this country for a few years!

So he's basically too tight to give his children some great experiences (skiing, traveling abroad, seeing other cultures?) I don't get that.
I did all that with my kids when they were young, skiing in Switzerland, they had traveled to over 25 countries in Europe by the time they were 10 and they can hardly remember a sodding thing!! Cost me £1000's 😂😂😂
I joke I should have kept them at home until they were 14!

Wit regard to holidays, it does get easier but we mixed our holidays up so we would camp in France in May and go backpacking in August and ski in February ( not that anyone remembers!)

I would keep pushing on this, we've been taking our daughter long haul since she was 10 months old and not had any problems, he doesn't have to stay in resorts aimed at families, can get a larger more spread out resort for some peace. Good luck OP, i know i'd be gutted if i had to give up our far flung holidays, i think they can be great for kids to explore

Thanks - I'm glad it's not just me! I will work on him but I thought being the last year before the school holiday restrictions I could have persuaded him to be more adventurous this year.
We have been abroad - once to Portugal (Martinhal which I thought was a nice balance between family holiday and being able to explore the Atlantic coast/ surf and do other things we used to do but he says it was overpriced) and I didn't find the travelling too bad but my youngest was only a few weeks old at the time.

I'm not keen on lots of people where I travel either. We have three DC and the added complications of the eldest having severe Autism and DH is a teacher so travel times are restricted.

We enjoy lots of travel though. We're currently in Croatia. Large car hire was £14/ day, flight for the five of us under £200 and a big five bed house with pool etc 700euro. We spent the morning in a tiny fishing port paddling in the Adriatic in the sunshine. Ate ice creams then brought fresh sliced meats and cheeses, a bottle of wine and headed back to our villa on a small holding in the hills. We've all mod cons here (dishwasher/ washing machine etc) plus private swimming pool, five a side football pitch and badminton net. The children each have their own bedroom and the internet is good so screen time is helping with babysitting (and I dont feel guilty).

I enjoy nice foods but don't really enjoy gastronomic experiences with three DC (and autism in the mix) so my from pre DC sacrifice is eating out on holiday.

We tend to do shorter trips out most days. We went to Dubrovnik a few days ago (40 min easy drive), as it's off season parked right by the city walls had a good run around peeped through lots of windows out to sea, went up and down an amazing number of stone steps.

In Feb half term we went to Finish lapland (flights under £300 from a regional airport - my parents wanted a memorable family holiday so helped out with this one) accomodation was £2000 for a week (shared between three families) for a 7 bed appartment, again all mod cons. We took grandparents, sister and her family and shared childcare/ activity opportunities. BIL had a couple of days on the slopes, lots of half day kids clubs activities were available and there were many DC I'm not convinced could walk in ski boots almost to the top of their legs with tubby little skis - they could barely fall over if they tried. No pushchairs, just sledges transporting children around the streets.

Another amazing place we took the children was Chamonix at October half term. Technically the end of summer season so the lifts to Agile de Midi still open but some skiing available too. Little playpark and child friendly activity like swimming in the town but lots of adventure to be had too.

We travel a lot. Last Easter we did Florence, Rome and Venice. Flights to Venice then first class train around (children were free when travelling with adults 1st so it worked cheaper than 2nd) in Rome we did a hop on/ hop off bus type thing as we only had one full day but it was easy with the children. In Venice we got a boat pass so when the children needed to sit down we hopped on a boat and took in the canal views. The casual dining experience in Italy worked very well for us ordering a selection of mains and sharing them out.

When DD was 3 we went to Iceland that was amazing with DC - as with many parts of Europe children were free at activities but also in many restaurants - so it really wasnt wasted money. We went out whale watching full warm suits and lifejackets supplied, watched geysers, saw magnificent waterfalls, got caught in the middle of a horse drive with hundreds of ponys being moved down the valley around us. We went to the black beaches, boiled eggs in a stream, swam in many thermal pools (young children free, moderate charge the older they get but other than the tourist pools, the local pools are relatively cheap. We've been back twice in summer and once at Christmas - swimming outside whilst it snowed on us, mind blowing. DC jumping out the pool onto the snow and crunching through it to come down the water slide back into the warm thermal waters. We did have to share several olympic size pools, numerous hot tubs, steam rooms and saunas with about 4 other people though so our £12 family entrance didn't give us exclusive use!

Denmark was incredible with children too, we've also done a couple of cruises which can be great for the balance of family time and opportunities for the children to do fun children's activities as well as allowing a bit of adult time. Didn't work well really in value terms for us with DS1's Autism though. Too much stimulation in many areas of the boat.

notacooldad is dead right. I have adult DC now and they remember very little of holidays before they were 10.
I agree with you that a self catering holiday where you actually have to shop or cook is worse than being at home. We used to do s/c but eat out. That gives you the benefit of more space than a hotel room ( get 2 bedrooms) but also gives you a break. Him cooking is still not a holiday imo.
I'd get a cheap s/c holiday to somewhere like menorca. Not an adventure it's true but quiet, child friendly, short flight and warm.