Right, that’s it. I give in. I’m a bit fat. Tough.

[Pinkarsedfly]

I run every other day.
I eat gluten free which means no pasta or cakes and biscuits etc.
I walk a minimum of 10K steps a day.
I do yoga once a week.
I rarely have takeaways - probably less than once every two months.
I mostly cook from scratch.

On the other hand,I do have the odd bit of chocolate, my portions are probably on the big side and I am fond of a glass or two of wine, or a beer or a g and t - but not every night.

I got on the scales this morning, and I’ve gained yet another 2lb, taking me to 13 stone. I’m 5ft 7.

And I just can’t summon up the wherewithal to do a fucking thing about it.

I don’t want to be hungry, I don’t want to count calories, I don’t want to low carb, or fast or any of those things.

I’m 45, and I’m done with it all.

Is it a bad idea to just say fuck it, and carry on with the exercise and enjoying my food?

I’m on citalopram, which I suspect isn’t helping the weight gain.

Agreed. I would rather be relaxed and a bit squishy than constantly worrying about something that, frankly, I don't look at very often.

My aim now is to smile more

I like that. Squishy and smiley.

Surely better than thin and miserable?

I was around your weight before I startes fasting (sorry) and am your height. You’re probably just into an overweight BMI but if you’re stable rather than gaining (probably a big if) I’d say it’s fine.

It has to be portion sizes. Can you try working on that? You are doing the right thing with regards exercise and enjoying your food but you are 45 and should have 40 more years. You need your body to bring you there. 100% your call and everyone’s body is different in terms of metabolism and needs. So up to you to decide what way it needs to be for your to have a comfortable next 40 yrs.

Are you happy? I appreciate that's an odd question with you taking an AD, but on the whole, are things ok? If so, I'd say step away from the scales. Far better to embrace what you are than constantly try to change yourself.

Would being slimmer make you happier? If you don’t think it will then I say carry on as you are! I have read many times that dieters find that once they stop worrying about what they’re eating, their weight levels out and food stops being an obsession.

No pronlem in general but I'd be a bit concerned about why I was gaining iyswim. Although if youre assured it's the citalopram then OK.

Could've written your post word for word.

What has made me feel 10 times better also is buying clothes that FIT my shape. Instead of squeezing into old skinny jeans or buying them a bit small and convincing myself foolishly that I'll fit them after I've lost a few lbs. does wonders (who woulda thought it) and proper fitting clothes look ten times better OBVIOUSLY

I enjoy food.

I know, Happyspud and in my more positive moments that’s my thinking.

But I’ve watched my mum on and off diets for my whole life, and now she’s 80, disabled, obese and STILL obsessing over food.

It all just seems so pointless. I don’t know what else I can do.

I think it sounds like you are very healthy. I’d concentrate far more on staying happy, and my GP said the same when I talked to her about it.

Squishy and smiley sounds good.

I recently had a go at bellydancing - I felt a bit lovely and graceful and no-one was skinny. I recommend it!

My GP seems to think it’s the citalopram. I feel fit and well in every other way.

Perhaps it’s just middle age spread?

I wasn’t talking to her about you Pink by the way, but she said 13 stone would be a brilliant goal weight for me, and to ignore BMI. She was far more interested in what exercise I do (like you, 10000 steps a day), and that I rarely have takeaways

Have you had everything else checked? Thyroid etc

Sounds reasonable, I'm the same. I'm dieting at the moment but my goal weight is a number that would be many people's starting weight, if you see what I mean. I think the main thing is not to gain. I don't mind being a bit fat but being a lot fat isn't my ideal health wise and it can make exercise hard.

Notice that you're doing a lot of cardio work but don't see any mention of weights. Have you tried a beginner weightlifting program? I was quite overweight last year and dropped over 1st while increasing strength and improving my body shape.

That’s good to hear, Progress.

My weight is quite stable. I’ve probably gained half a stone in the past couple of years. I’ve hovered around 12 and a half for a decade or so - I’ve lost the extra stone a couple of times through WW etc - but it goes straight back on.

The extra half stone is since I’ve been on ADs (for health anxiety - and now I’m freaking out about possible causes of weight gain )

It's tough as we get older too. The amount we can eat just to stay a bit fat drops year after year.

You have to be realistic. You are active and conscious of your health but we do have to balance that with our mental wellbeing. Constantly punishing ourselves over a number on scales (within reason) isn’t helpful or good for us.

No, I haven’t had my thyroid checked - I have plenty of energy, etc. Maybe I should?

I agree with you. Diets don’t work long time for the majority of people and they just make you miserable. Fuck it. Buy some lovely clothes in the size you are now and embrace it - I bet you look lovely and life is too short to obsess over something as unimportant as your weight unless it’s causing you health issues.

@pinkarsedfly I'm in the same situation and 50 next month. For years I've been beating myself up because I wasn't 'thin' like the posters/films/books/magazines told me I should be - even though I was perfectly acceptably slim. I've always been active and. at 5ft 9, hovered around the 11.5-12 stone mark for years. Over the past 5 years my weight has slowly increased even though I was still active, just not as active as I was in my early 40s. Then I had my lightbulb moment. I lost half a stone (took three months) with a personal trainer but was so utterly miserable on the 'diet' that I decided I would continue to stop beating myself up , carry on with the exercise and training that I enjoy, but be honest that I really couldn't be arsed to put myself through the misery of dieting to get down to the perceived ideal for my height of 10st 7.

At 12st 10 I'm neither fat nor slim, I'm healthy, I can lift weights that I couldn't two years ago, I can cycle 50 miles without collapsing, I don't suffer illnesses. For the first time in my life I'm sort of content with the way I look. After all, I used to think I was fat at 11 stones when I was in my early 20s and was wrong then so who's to say I won't look back in 20 years and realise that I was wrong to think I'm fat now!

My only concern for you would be if the weight crept up (not unlikely as you head towards menopause and all that shite and then you got more anxious/depressed?
Carry on enjoying your good and exercising but perhaps cut down on portion sizes a bit?
Other than that just stay bloody happy!

*enjoy your food

It's obviously up to you but I don't think the choice is either squishy & smiley or thin & miserable. For me, I feel so much happier and confident when I'm slimmer so it's worth the calorie counting/fasting/low carbing (whatever your poison!) to be slim rather than overweight.

FWIW I do a lot of cardio in the gym but have been lifting weights for 18 months or so and this really does make a difference to your weight and body shape. I think the amount of steps someone does shouldn't be counted as 'exercise' this is something that most people should be doing in their daily lives in addition to other exercise that actually gets their heart going.