Need to vent. Holiday and in laws related.

[Drogonssmile]

Not really expecting an answer here although some sympathy would be in appreciated! Away with the PIL abroad and in the second week. We leave on Thursday and I am so ready to go home. Some of the recent gems I have had to bite my tongue about:

MIL winding up DS2 aged 2.5 until he is screaming/frustrated and then wandering off and letting me deal with the fall out. She does it on purpose, looking for my reaction.

Both PiL inviting themselves along when DH expressly says we are going out as a foursome with the excuse that it's to give them some peace. We have had one meal out in the whole two weeks. Two if you count a rushed McDonald's because the kids were beside themselves with hunger after FIL marched us off on an impromptu 3 mile walk.

Spending sodding ages in the supermarket dissecting the cost/value/origin of every product and insisting we walk the 2 miles back even though we've already walked 2 miles there and have a 5 yo who is also expected to walk said distance. Tutting ensues when I order a taxi (and pay for it). They don't mind getting in the taxi though

There are many, many more and I am sure IABU about some but the combination of it all and DH being pretty spineless when it comes to standing up to them has really worn me down. He had quite a shit childhood with not much affection shown/ extremely selfish parents and I can really see why he is now he is after spending this time with them.

I try to stand up to them as much as possible but it's difficult if I don't want to cause a rift between me and DH. I just want calm. I can see he's biting his tongue too now though. Standing up to them cumulates in FIL sulking for 3 days or MIL screaming and shouting and then cats bum face forever after.

The countdown has begun to home time and I can safely say I won't be going away with them again.

@Drogonssmile - You're probably well back from your holiday...just wondering how things are with the inlaws and if you're managing to do your own thing a bit more with less involvement from them ? Did you manage to have your own little break from the PiL when you got home?

@WhatchaMaCalllit thank you for asking it seems like a distant memory now but not forgotten.

We have spent plenty of time away from PIL and DH has grown a bit more of a backbone where standing up to them a bit is concerned. So all is well and calm for the moment!

MIL can be very opinionated and I think two weeks away with them was perhaps a little lot too long. But lesson learnt and all that and at least there is no lasting conflict/damage.

@Drogonssmile - that definitely sounds like a result for the time being at least. Onwards and upwards as they say!

Drogon, counselling is very effective. The ILS sound very controlling and bullying.

It’s worth remembering that if the cycle of them treating you and DH this way will be harmful if you don’t stop it, but it is already starting to be harmful to your DC who need to be protected from it. Limit exposure to them, meet on neutral territory so that you can leave when you choose. Definitely no more holidays together! Looking forward to Christmas (which may or may not be a problem for you) you will be able to manage situations better.

In time you may even be able to see the ridiculousness of the ILS behaving like toddlers, FIL sulking, MIL shouting and being miserable when they don’t get their own way. Remember that they are the ones with the problem!