Love or Lust?

[Tropicalisland]

I’m a true believer in love at first sight and all the fairytale love stories.

Late twenties, male and started a course at university.

There is one particular woman in the class who has caught my eye. I am in a relationship but it’s completely dead.

So I have this thought that I’m attracted to her physically and her personality but not her lifestyle if that makes sense.

I do believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we are all beautiful but to me she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

Her personality is amazing too. She has a thing for helping people yet she is naive and insecure about herself which draws me to her to try and make her believe in herself.

Her lifestyle is what turns me away. She parties, has a lot of friends and seems very high maintenance. Whereas I don’t drink, count my friends on one hand and I’d say medium maintenance.

Opinions on approaching her?

Thank you

Don't approach her. Your personality might turn her away. You're in a relationship but you're already eyeing up a replacement. You're not exactly a catch yourself.

Ew. Creepy.

Are you asking mumsnet is it ok to cheat?
Sort your relationship out first, ffs.
Don't approach her, you sound judgy and controlling.

And just plain weird, tbh.

Approach her? Aren't you in a "dead" relationship that needs your attention first? If this relationship is truly over, then behave like an adult an end it before you entangle yourself with another woman. BTW, If you know you don't like the lifestyle of this person, why would you even bother? Are you looking for yet another dead end relationship?

Late twenties?

You sound like you’re 12 with your love at first sight guff.

If you can’t put any effort into your relationship that you are in then please end it ansbsonthwnpooe fuel a big favour.

As for the lady you fancy, I wouldn’t bother as she really isn’t your type.

As others said. End your current relationship before approaching someone new.
Don't approach that woman. You are too different. Socialising is obviously important to her. Are there religious differences between you both too? Do you generally think that women shouldn't go out and drink alcohol? In which case think about your values and what kind of woman you might make happy. It wouldn't be this one.

You should let your girlfriend go, honourably. Then concentrate on your studies. Then look for a life partner when you are ready. I shouldn’t expect university woman is it.

You don't sound like you would be good for her at all. Concentrate on your studies and ending your dead relationship.

You’re not free to ‘pursue’ your classmate, sunshine.

And frankly, you sound strange and controlling, even leaving aside the issue of your girlfriend or wife. You seem to only be attracted to the elements of this woman that make you feel like a knight in shining armour, riding into save her from her own naïveté and insecurity. The fact that she’s sociable, popular and has a busy social life — and hence isn’t some ickle pwincess up a tower who needs a big strong man — repel you because they make it obvious she’s got a perf3ctly nice life and doesn’t need rescuing.

Ask yourself what all this says about you. Then concentrate on your academic work.

You have do read this lady wrong.
Hint she goes out a lot.
Busy social life.. lots of friends...
Your not her type, she was just being nice to you, she does not want or need you....

Do not approach.

Well this is one of the more creepy things I've read on here.

Sort things out with your girl friend first. It's not hard.

Also, doesn't sound like love to me at all. Sounds like a scape-goat.