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Should I go to this funeral

6 replies

Louloubelle78 · 14/04/2019 19:07

Looking for the best thing to do in this situation. My partner has an old friend from school that I have never met. A couple of weeks ago the friend's wife died from breast cancer. A desperately sad and emotional time for her family, she left three teenage daughters too. Despite there been some time since my partner has seen/ spoken to this friend, he has been an amazing support for him, which is is lovely.

The funeral is next week, it is not going to be a big thing. My partner wants me to attend. If my partner wants me to go as a support I will do whatever he needs. However, I feel a little funny about being at a funeral of someone I have never met and I do not know any of the family. This is going to a very emotional and difficult time for a family that have had someone taken too young. What would you do? Still go?

To add some context my partner has a terrible start to the year already losing two friends, one died suddenly and the other committed suicide. So all of this has obviously had an effect on my partner. I did not know these people, but people at the funeral knew me/ had met me, so it didn't feel inappropriate.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 14/04/2019 19:09

Go and support your partner. That's your reason for being there. All you need to say to the family is that you're sorry for their loss.Treat it like going to a medical appointment with him.

fedupntired · 14/04/2019 19:10

I would go to support your husband.

Lucked · 14/04/2019 19:12

Yes go.

Blackboot1 · 14/04/2019 19:13

Yes.

Drum2018 · 14/04/2019 19:15

How recently has your partner been in contact with his school friend? Has he been supportive since his friend's wife was ill? Personally I'd find it odd to go to the funeral of someone I'd never met or hadn't met any of their family. For me it would also depend on what part of the funeral your partner plans to attend - will he just go to the service or will he go for food afterwards, if that's an option. Going to a church service wouldn't be too intrusive but I wouldn't go to the gathering with family/close friends afterwards.

Louloubelle78 · 14/04/2019 23:07

They have been in touch since the latter stages of her illness, but on and off for years before that. There is a church service, then burial, then wake. If it was a traditional Caribbean funeral (partner and friend from this region, and I have been to a few) it would be less odd as they can quite big, but given the circumstances they are keeping it low key. I think I'll go to the church and play it by ear.

OP posts:
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