How to wean a 23 month old off the boob!

[Ohhellothereladyface]

DD is 23 months and still breastfeeding all the time. She wants it several times overnight and a good 3-4 times a day. She gets distressed if she can’t have it. I have no idea how to wean her off it and can see her still shouting MUMMY! I NEED BOOB!!!! when she’s 12
Any advice on how to gently wean please?

She definitely doesn't need it, it's a habit. Prepare for a few tough days of saying no and offer her other drinks. That must be exhausting for you.

It depends how you want to play it, honestly. The boobs could shut up shop permanently, which would give you a horrible, say, 3 days but then it's over and forgotten. Although you might get quite engorged and the hormones would be an emotional rollercoaster. Or you can focus on restricting feeds to certain times and considering nightweaning (sending daddy in is the best way). This means a longer period of aggravation but potentially less stress and could be easier emotionally and physically on you.

Have you anyone she can be left with for a couple of days? A grandparent or other relative? Mine self weaned at 14months but I have had friends who went away for a couple of days and it made the process easier.

Thanks for your replies, ideally I want to wean really gently rather than making her go cold turkey. Probably overthinking it and being too sensitive but worried she would mistake me withholding boob as me withdrawing love or security etc

I'm in the same predicament, Tried putting yucky stuff on the breast but she just wipes it away with her spit!
She sleeps fine when I'm not here, but when I'm here she will not sleep without "boobie"
Here for the advice

She wouldn't think thay but it does send the message that boob is no longer on the menu.

If you want to do it gently then I'd say the first week don't give boob at all during the day, the next week just once before bed then the third week none at all.

Fwiw I'm not a huge fan of cold turkey weaning for myself but if you're cuddling and consoling her when you refuse boob she won't feel unloved and won't be permanently damaged.

I nightweaned at 18mo by relentlessly presenting DS1 with daddy until he gave up and slept through - that plus me being back at work naturally reduced feeding to morning and bedtime, and then just to bedtime, until he weaned altogether at age 2y8mo. So you could consider gradual nightweaning as a first step - Google for techniques - or you could start gradually pushing the first feed of the day back and distract/console until then. The very gentlest method of weaning is "don't offer, don't refuse" but that could take some time to have any appreciable effect, and it seems like you're at the end of your tether a bit.

It's OK to have needs and to balance them off against your DC's needs and wants. At this stage breastmilk is a nice-to-have and breastmilk on demand is very much a want. It's ok to need more sleep/time/autonomy.

Someone I knew put those charcoal face masks over her nipples and the baby didn't wanna go anywhere near her!

I started earlier, but initially I said she could only do it at home, this was about 14 months and she understood this and got it quite quickly. She was at nursery from 11 months so had been used to not being able to feed during the day, but was making up for it at weekends/when I was around.

She was probably still waking up once in the night for a feed at this stage, but then my partner took over settling her back to sleep.

Then I reduced further to only bedtime and first thing in the morning, which I’d tell were the only times she could have it if she’d ask me/try to feed if we were sitting in the sofa together. I think with my DD once she knows the rules/what the new routine was, she accepted it. We then dropped the AM feed by distracting her, having breakfast/tv ready to watch (and having to get up with her rather than have a few more minutes in bed!). That was actually much easier and quicker than I thought it would be to do too.

As your daughter is older and you are happy to do this gradually, if I were you I’d try to go straight to telling her only at bedtime and try to distract her at the other times. In my limited experience they like routine and knowing that she is still allowed to feed but only at certain times really helped her to accept it. You might be surprised how quickly she accepts this if you stick to your guns and tell her she is a big girl so can eat x now instead and boob is just for bedtime.

I’m still doing bedtime feeds at 30 months. It’s just such a part of our bedtime routine and I’m going to see how it goes over the next few months as expecting DC2 in June.

Personally, I would favour cold turkey, as it's over very quickly. The problem with slow weaning is that your DD won't really know where she stands and will keep wanting the breast.

She won't feel unloved, you'll still love her and cuddle her. Tell her clearly that boob feeding has finished now and that you'll do other things together. A child of that age will love to sit on your lap and enjoy nursery rhymes or picture books.

Explain to her clearly what's going to happen and then implement it and stick to it. Children understand at lot at that age and they appreciate mum making the rules and sticking to them.