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I fancy my dance teacher - what are my next steps?

36 replies

hopefulglimmer · 14/04/2019 09:37

Before you all think I am setting myself unattainable heights in going after a god-like young and supple body, it's not that type of dance class. Its more a slightly 'out there' spiritual thing and the teacher is an ordinary middle aged guy and I am a ordinary middle aged woman.

But he seems kind, and god knows, I could do with some kindness from someone in my life. I have been ignoring my feelings because I thought no-one could ever like me, and after my last abusive relationship, the thought of having sex with a man again disgusted me for a long time. I thought that side of me was destroyed forever . But last night I had a lot of sexual thoughts all about him. So maybe that side of me isn't dead after all.

Should I try to take things further and if so how? I thought maybe I could get to the class early to chat before anyone else arrives - just to get to know him better and see if there might be something there?

Part of me thinks - oh don't even try - you'll just make a fool of yourself and you've probably nothing in common (I don't actually have any supernatural beliefs despite the fact that I like going to spiritual things). But another part thinks - why not try? Don't I deserve at least a chance at being happy with someone?

I don't even know why I am posting this. Maybe I just wanted to put somewhere that I feel slightly alive again for the first time in a long time.

OP posts:
hopefulglimmer · 14/04/2019 13:51

Chatting to him about what he does in his free time is a good way to find out if he is single. Ask him if he's doing anything nice at the weekend or if he has any holidays planned. Answers to these sorts of questions usually begin with 'we' if the person has a partner

This is a good idea @screamingvalenta

I know someone who is happily married to their dance teacher - it happens Thanks for the hopeful tale @Ubercornsgoggles

OP posts:
hopefulglimmer · 14/04/2019 13:56

A sexual dream doesn't mean anything - I dreamt I shagged Chris Tarrant once and I definitely don't fancy him

Grin It wasn't a dream! I couldn't get to sleep for thinking about him! I haven't had any feelings like this for a very, very long time. I seriously didn't think I ever would again. I can't stop thinking about him today (hence the post)!. I know it very well might not come to anything but I've been so utterly miserable for so long, and this crush and return of desire has given me something pleasant and exciting and hopeful to think about.
It might all come crashing down, but, at this moment, its nice to have these feelings again.

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 14/04/2019 17:16

FFS these are tedious. Do we have a limerance botherer? You're a grown adult. Say hello, ask if he fancies a coffee, whatever.

IvanaPee · 14/04/2019 17:18

Jesus, Curtains. You don’t have to post, you know.

You don’t even have to read it. The beauty of choice.

LuckyLou7 · 14/04/2019 17:35

Oh so not a sexual dream, more a sexual daydream? Did he do or say something at the dance class to pique your interest?

hopefulglimmer · 14/04/2019 19:12

Yes,that's right LuckyLou - a daydream.

No, he didn't say anything particular - I guess my feelings have been building for a while and now overflown - not sure why!

Curtains - Well, there are a number of reasons for posting, either explicitly outlined in the OP or implicit in further posts. More attuned people than you can perhaps pick up on that. As for tedious, I guess that is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it tedious when people are bored by the subject of a post but still feel the need to not only read it, but then to perjoratively comment on it as well. All that advertises to me is a limited life experience and lack of empathy.

OP posts:
BeansandRice · 14/04/2019 20:35

Take it from me - I've been in dance studios for about 40 years - he is unlikely to be interested.

It's not him - it's that what he's been teaching you has opened up ew things for you, and you're learning. He's not interested - it's what he's teaching not him. So save yourself, and save the poor guy.

And use the energy to look for someone who really wants to connect with you. Poor guy - he's just doing his job.

If I had a pound for every woman I've seen fawning over the dance teacher or personal trainer ... well - I wouldn't have a mortgage.

Langrish · 14/04/2019 20:37

Is he single? You need to establish that first, obviously.

ForalltheSaints · 14/04/2019 21:14

Do you want to become President of France?!!!!

Holdingtherope · 14/04/2019 21:18

I need to know what the dancing is.

I want some spiritual dancing in my life!

BeansandRice · 14/04/2019 22:22

5 rhythms I’ll bet. You don’t really need to have any special training to go it. And it’s got a wanky “spiritual” meaning apparently.

Me - I’d rather go for the skill and art of ballet classes.

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