DH has huge flare ups of health anxiety which lead to depression. A few years back he had it so bad he ended up seeing the crisis team. Now it's back again. It makes him very, very down, obsessed with thinking about his health issues (which are real, he just catastrophises them), very 'not present'. He is speaking to the doctor and doing what he can but this is clearly not something that's just going to be fixed overnight.
The issue is it leaves me doing everything. We have two DC, one still a toddler. DH works full time in shift work, I work 4 days a week. We don't have family overly close by, and his family are very much not understanding or supportive.
So I'm working, doing the bulk of the housework, childcare and mental load, plus constantly gauging his moods, talking about it a lot, worrying horrifically myself (last time he mentioned not seeing the point of being here anymore) all the while trying not to let him see too much how it's affecting me - we're in an acute stage, I'm worried that saying anything about how stressful it is for me too during these few weeks while the doctors try to sort out some meds will just make everything worse.
I'm just struggling myself as well. It's hard, and I'm tired both from doing everything and from worrying all the time. I can't ask him to do anything else, he's doing what he can, he's seeking help. But it's just... I don't really know what I'm asking for. Just some advice really. There's no room at the moment for me to switch off even for an hour or so, this whole 'look after yourself too' can't enormously happen at the moment.
Does anyone have any wise words?