I would live in a lovely sleepy village, somewhere in Devon. There would be a beach nearby and good transport links to the nearest (big ) city.
I would be completely debt free. In fact I would have a moderate amount of savings in the bank. I'd live modestly - Tesco instead of Waitrose- but would be able to afford at least one holiday a year. I would also have mini breaks in cities now and then and be able to afford to stay in nice hotels.
I wouldn't be in contact with my parents very much. If I could I'd change them to be loving, normal parents. As that isn't likely to happen I would rather live very far away from then with no pestering.
I would have a modern flat. It would be just for me. I would keep it immaculate and decorated lovely. The bathroom would have a sea theme and would be filled with Lush products. I'd have a big bedroom with a double bed and silk sheets. A big bathroom with a smart shower. I could decorate and keep my bedroom as I liked. Absolutely no clothes hanging around.
My living room would have a log Fire and comfy chairs. I'd have a smart TV. Candles always burning, and again I would decorate. Would have a table on the hallway with a bowl for my keys and flowers on. Flowers everywhere actually. A nice doormat.
The kitchen would be my haven. A lovely big fridge freezer with ice dispenser. Well organized and clean. Enough space to store bottles of water, wine, chocolate etc. Would always have a (small) cake in there. Or scones and cream.
Would have proper coffee and an impressive range of syrups and things. Would become good at baking.
I'd work doing something interesting but rewarding and well paid, perhaps a probation officer or family support worker. I'd volunteer in my spare time with sex workers and go around local schools discussing my experience of MH and addiction, and how you can overcome abuse, it is allowed.
I'd start the day with a quick jog on the beach. I'd quite like a dog but working full time wouldn't be fair on it so couldn't. Unless I had a partner who worked from home. Then I'd have a Scottie.
The beach would be deserted and lovely. I'd come back and shower and dry off in one of those towelling robes you get in hotels, while eating breakfast. Breakfast would be a leisurely coffee and toast or croissant. I wouldn't be worrying over weight.
I'd get dressed in peace with no one nagging of hassling me. I'd go to work, stopping to get a large caramel latte or white hot chocolate, on the way. I'd be dressed smart and would be slim. I'd have a nice day at work and not feel anxious.
I'd finish work and depending on the day I'd do different things. I might go out volunteering, I might go to my therapist, I might go for a swim or the gym, I might go to some language classes. Much as I moan not having time to watch TV I don't do well with too much leisure time so would try and keep busy.
If I had nothing on, I'd head home. Do boring things like start to cook tea, do some washing, tidy up a bit, make lunch for the next day. Depending on job would do a bit of work from home.
Would have tea with a nice gin and watch TV. Would then shower using nice body stuff. Would then spend the evening watching TV and relaxing.
I don't know how realistic that is! I'm moving out In 3wks time and am under no illusions it will be like that. For a start I'm still in debt with a bad credit rating so spending money thoughtlessly isn't ok and I'll be on a strict budget. I'm also a lodger in a family home (cheaper) so quite the same level of freedom. Will be looking to pay off overdraft, make extra payments on loan and become financially sound so will not be easy. Im also moving to a city, nowhere near a sea! And I doubt running on the beach will feature.
Really hoping that the no stress and nagging will happen though. Is so tough living with parents and it'll do me good to move out. Will have its challenges though. I'm also scared of sinking and not making a success of things like mam says.
I don't think my dream is particularly outlandish (although I imagine if need to be on at least 30k to achieve that lifestyle which seems impossible. I'm not a lawyer or similar. Would like to train to be a probation officer but that isn't stellar money)
I do think it might be out of the reach of me. I'm from a deprived valleys village so even 19k a year is 'getting too much' in mams view. That lifestyle is something I want so much but can't ever see me getting. It's not for the likes of me.
I think (or hope) I'll do a good thing this next year though. I've gone from being in horrific debt in January (700 a month repayments!) Am still paying consolidation loan off (with my record had to get a high ish Apr one. Not as bad as payday loans though). I saved 1400 the past 8 weeks because of determination. The move will cost money, I've written a strict budget. I know it's down to me now so I need to be careful with my money and not sink. I should be ok.
Once settled I'm going to save 1500 to pay off overdraft, and will then reduce it to a small one of 300 pounds for absolute emergencies. After that will save 400 a month for 10 months and make a lump sum payment to loan people. I borrowed 3k but interest rates are high, am paying back around 7k I think. But 4grand around may next year would make a really good dent in things and hopefully lower the repayments or reduce the time frame. And improve credit rating.
Will also be attempting to save a little for savings account too. I know they say saving when loans is a false economy but it's making sure I have enough for emergencies. Will always keep at least one month's rent spare.
As soon as loan is paid off, or at least in a healthier position, I'll start to save properly. 400 a month into savings. It'd be easier to put it towards my disposable income and enjoy it, but I need to be strict with myself. By this point may have gotten a bit of a raise in new job.
Once I've got a raise and savings are good I'll look into moving again. Not to my own flat as rents are ridiculous but a room in a professional house share. I'll have more money for the increased rent, and would have more independence again. Save like mad. Hopefully pay my loan off within 18mknths from now.
I don't like staying in one place so I might have moved jobs or locations by this point. I do want to become a probation officer one day so might apply. You earn as you learn and it's a decent wage too. Once you qualify it's a really good wage.
So hopefully in 5yrs time I'll be in a better place financially and mentally. Reading that back there's a lot of talk of being strict and controlled and not relaxed with money . It won't be fun. But I really hope it's worth it!!