Would you try to contact mother?

[DaftQuery]

DD (7) came home today after a holiday camp saying she had a secret she couldn't tell else she'd be beaten up. We've had a chat and I said that there shouldn't be any secrets from me and if someone threatens you like that it's a sign that she should tell an adult. She said she would tell me as long as I didn't tell DS or anyone else. We've also talked about secrets vs surprises and she should always tell me or DH if someone tells her to keep a secret.

The secret is that D's brother, one of the big kids, has kissed L and his mother mustn't find out because she will be very, very angry.

L is a girl that DD did a club with last summer term and happens to be in same holiday club. I know she is in the same class (diff school) as DD so must be aged 6-7. She's a bit of a wild child, kind at heart but unruly. I spoke to her mum a couple of times last summer, but she kept herself to herself. She's much younger than all of the other parents, so must have had L as a young teenager. I felt a bit sorry for L the other day as she introduced one of the older kids as her half brother and he laughed at her and said, "no I'm not" so she asked what he was then and he said "your uncle!"

She clearly lives with her grandparents. I had a chat with her grandmother the other day and we were talking about our kids, turns out L is suspected ADHD (one of mine is too).

Back to the issue, the boy in question is, DD thinks, in DS's group which would put him in the 9-11 age range. DD says the boy asked L if she wanted to kiss and L said yes. So we had a chat about saying no if your not comfortable etc (not what I thought I'd be talking about to my 7 year old this afternoon) and DD said maybe L thought she would be beaten up if she said no

So.... I feel really uncomfortable about all of this. She's really young. I know mine with ADHD is very socially naive, but this could also be his ASD. Am I over reacting? Should I try and say something to one of her family? I could probably find her grandmother online as I know her name/job. I know who her grandfather is (he ran the club they did together). I might see her mum tomorrow at pick up. Mind my own. business?

If you decide to say something I would say the key thing would be to stick to what was said without giving an opinion or hinting at your own concerns. You would need to keep it in the context that this was relayed to you by a child and stay as neutral as possible. That can be very hard. Good luck making your decision!

I would say something.

I wouldn’t speak to mother. I would phone camp organisers and say that your daughter was told to keep one of the boys kissing a younger girl a secret.

Then the camp can speak to the mother.

I thought about saying something to DD and L's group leader. But I worry she's been labelled a bit because of her ADHD. Twice she had to sit out today, once totally wasn't her fault. She threw a ball which bounced off another ball and hit a boy in the face. The boy went straight to leader and L was called over, told off and made to sit out for a few minutes. There is no way that it was deliberate (although, there may have been other occurrences where it was). And the second time because she was trying to help one of the younger kids, even though she wasn't supposed to. plus which, the group leaders look like kids themselves. I feel old! So I don't know how seriously they would take it. Or indeed if anyone else would find it worrying and I'm just being an old fogey.