Just read a thread saying MN isn't funny anymore, so thought I'd share this gem with you.
So, we have just returned from visiting relatives abroad. On the plane, DD, 3, needs a wee so off we go to the two toilets at the back of the plane. While there, nature calls and I also use the facilities for rather a big poo.
DD, who is in the cubicle with me as she's so fecking clingy she wouldn't wait outside, starts dry heaving, while I'm mid poo. She's had a heavy cold and sometimes does vomit if any phlegm catches in her throat.
DD proceeds to vomit all over herself, my feet, and the cubicle floor/door. It's literally oozing outside.
I do my best to clean us up, and the cubicle.
On our way out I inform stewardess what has happened and apologise profusely, offering to help get up the worst of it. Stewardess is totally understanding.
Very kindly the stewardess leans in to now naked DD and asks if she has a poorly tummy, asks what made her sick.
"Mummy's poo made me sick."
Oh. Good. Grief!
We then got back to our seats where she told DH the same thing, very loudly.
As a nervous flyer this certainly took my mind off all the turbulence!