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To mediate or not?

1 reply

finglestick · 11/04/2019 10:37

Hi, long term lurker here in need of some wwyd advice! I’ll try and get it all in...
So, messy divorce finally came thru in 2015. There was a whole lot of emotional and financial abuse throughout our marriage and breakup and he continues to try and play those games even now. Also a huge amount of coercive control and gaslighting which, again, he still tries. We have 2 children and we share access on a 50/50 split which works well for us all.
Anyho, I have a new partner who moved In with me about 3 years ago. We are both from a different area to where we currently live and have decided to move back. It’s only 50 miles away so not too far! I’ve assured my ex that 50/50 access will remain and I’ll be breaking myself to drive up and down the motorway to get them to the schools they are in now and keep their routine as consistent as possible.
He’s kicked off, got a solicitor involved and is raging because I didn’t ask his permission to move! He’s now said he wants mediation to get a legally binding statement form me (🤨) saying I won’t move the children’s schools or move them with us 50 miles away. I understand where he’s coming from but I have assured him by email, text and via his solicitor that that isn’t my intention. I just want to get on with my life!
My question is wwyd? Mediation is pointless as I’ll just be saying the same things over and over. Also, I’m a full time student and don’t work so can’t really afford the £200 it’ll cost to say what I’ve already said! So... wwyd??
Thank you

OP posts:
nauseous5000 · 12/04/2019 13:44

Well I wouldn't be driving the kids back and forth to their original schools to be honest. I'd be researching and proving all the reasons why the new place is better for the kids- schools with better grades, less pollution etc and prepare yourself to have to facilitate contact and do bulk of travelling

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