It's my birthday and I'm fed up

[namestar]

DH working away for a few days but left a generic £1.50 M&S card for DC to give me.

Card from DD and a birthday cuddle, DS wandering about in his pants pissed off because his phone charger is broken.

Easter hols so relentless bickering. I want to just take off and leave the pair of them to it - only I can't as they are still primary school age.

I meant it when I said to DH not to buy presents as we have a big holiday in a couple of months. I just feel quite hurt that he couldn't even be arsed to choose a decent card, I give kids friends the same ones.

Not a single text or otherwise from close friends either. I might just stay in bed and eat my imaginary birthday chocolates!!

This sucks a bit when you are a thoughtful, organised person where everyone else is concerned.

I'm being needy, aren't I?

It's not needy to expect the kind of effort you put in, even if it's minimal but thoughtful.

Happy birthday

That's crap, OP. Even just some flowers couldn't have hurt from DH (despite asking for no gifts, a little thought wouldn't have gone a miss). Could you drop DC's off with a friend/relative and have a nice relaxing day to yourself? Sounds like heaven to me! 🤤 if not, take them out on this lovely day and get yourself a bottle of wine for tonight and chill the F out 💗

Happy birthday by the way

Happy Birthday! I think you’re being a little bit needy if I’m honest, but then again I never get why people get pent up over generic, mass produced sentiments in cards. Are your family/husband generally appreciative of you? Their actions will speak more loudly than any card - don’t feel like a piece of overpriced paper should dictate how people feel about you. Give your friends a chance as well, it’s still quite early on a Thursday.

It’s a bit shite when a birthday just feels like another hard slog of a day though, mines coming up and will be under very similar circumstances - entertaining small children and saving the pennies! It’s all a bit ‘meh’ isn’t it. Any chance of doing anything tonight, even if it’s a hot bath, ordering a takeaway and putting on a film you love (if that’s something you enjoy)?

Thanks mother and Mrs

Got a full on day of kids plans, I'll no doubt cheer up a bit when I meet my friends for a coffee whilst kids play.

Wine/gin tonight I think and the ironing pile can wait for another day! I'm not that much of a martyr

DH not getting away with this one, I'll be pointing out the error of his selfish ways and be booking myself a facial courtesy of him!

Is your DH usually thoughtful and buys nice gifts? If so then, yeah, you might be acting a little bit needy. The mistake was saying not to get you anything, i would never say that. At least say "something small like a box of chocolates" and you're most likely to get something. :D

Happy birthday, go to the shop & buy some chocolates ,i would.

Happy Birthday! Hope your day gets better!

Birthday cards are a total waste of money and paper whether they are a 'generic £1.50 M&S one' or a stupidly overpriced one from Clintons etc.

You'd hate me, I buy them for pennies from Card Warehouse. I'm not paying £3/4 for a piece of card to sit on the side for a few days before it gets binned.

Not everyone wants a big song and dance from others on their birthday, so your 'thoughtful, organised efforts' for others might go right over their heads, or they might wonder why you did it?

Just get some nice cake with your coffee later and perhaps a takeaway or treaty meal from M&S or wherever for tea.

Maybe DH will bring you a gift back from his work trip??

I'm on a permanent diet so he knows not to get chocs

He's a very good husband and usually quite kind and thoughtful. I'm not into material things really so even a cheery phonecall this morning would have been nice.

He has a fairly new job which he loves but takes him travelling frequently. As a result he's pulling his weight far less at home than previously and I suppose I feel a bit undervalued of late.

My mum friends won't know it's my birthday today (I don't do FB) so I think I will bring a big cake along to eat with them.

Happy birthday!

I genuinely don’t understand what the problem with the card is - unless you wanted something handmade? Cards are mass produced generally?

Booking yourself a facial because he didn’t get you a present / the right card when you told him not to do so is so passive aggressive and completely undermines the point of saving money...

I think a standard m and s card is fine if you told him not to do presents.

How does he know you buy it for others so don’t see it as specia any more?

I think in this regard you are bing ‘needy’, but only cos you are disappointed that he followed your parameter to the letter

Happy birthday, ditch the kids (if old enough) and go have fun

Happy Birthday!

It was my birthday last week and I was given no presents. OH talked about stuff for weeks beforehand but didn't book anything as "I thought you might have your period so wouldn't enjoy it" despite asking me when I was due on and being told that date was FINE just didn't believe me for some reason. Like I don't know my own body and cycle.

It really hurts to matter so little.

TBH, I don't suppose it's so much about a stupid card (whether you agree with them or not) it's more that I realise I'm putting more effort in than I'm getting out atm.

A few well chosen words in a nice card would have made my day. I really did mean it when I said no gifts - I'm genuinely not disappointed with that. We've always exchanged thoughtful (inexpensive) cards and I felt quite hurt that he effectively bought a kids card.

Anyway, I'm going to drag my passive aggressive, needy arse out and have fun with the kids instead!

Nor did he mention it on the day, it wasn't until I got really upset over the weekend and he asked why so I told him, that he admitted it.

Five I totally understand your hurt. Happy belated birthday to you 💐

Have a good day!

Ride out the day, then put the kids to bed and enjoy some wine, chocolates and takeaway for yourself.

But he did get you a card...I think you're really overreacting tbh.

Sounds like a good plan Kim!

It's my birthday too and I'm similarly grumpy.

OH has bought me chocolates despite the fact that he knows I'm trying very hard to loose weight. No card from the kids (I don't doubt he's got one and not got around to getting them to write it) and I have an endoscopy tomorrow which I'm bloody crapping myself about (plus I won't be able to eat the chocolates after the endoscopy because they're not gluten free so if I don't eat them tonight he'll have to have them!)

I'm going to drink all the wine tonight I've decided.

Happy birthday 🎉🎉

Taco yes he did. I don't deny that... it's about the sentiment but I guess we are all different

Happy Birthday to you too Iccle