Oh no why me.. come and tell me about your house keeping disasters

[listsandbudgets]

I swept and mopped and vacuamed every floor in the house - it took ages. Dyson hoover so bagless - totally full.

Went to empty it, poured it all neatly into a plastic bag and bag exploded at the bottom entire contents of hoover all over floor again. Had to brush it up, hoover it up and remop the floor..

That was on top of having made a flatcase book case earlier today and then finding that my measurements for the space it needed were about a centimetre out and it won't fit...

Its days like this I wish I'd never given up drinking

I have discovered I have mice. I’ve caught six in the last three days! I’ve taken up drinking. 🤢

Spent ages cleaning the kitchen. It was spotless. Had an hour until I had to pick up kids from school. Open cupboard to get a glass and I knock one of the champagne flutes out. It smashes into a million of the tiniest pieces you could imagine....over the work surfaces, floor, even the knife block and utensils which are hanging up. I have to wash all utensils, clean again and sweep and hoover the floor over and over again.

These make my cleaned the floor then knocked the bucket of dirty water over seem quite trivial.

I hate breaking glass, the worse sort is pyrex, it doesn't break, it explodes when you drop it.

I left the freezer door open today

I left the freeZer open for nearly 2 weeks once while we went on holiday-I’d been so obsessed with grabbing my frozen EBM stash at the last second I didn’t realise.
Coming home to defrosted and subsequently rotting sausages etc was not pleasant.

I also slammed a bottle of Ribena down on the worktop in a slight temper not realising that the top wasn’t quite on-as you can imagine the resultant sticky mess sprayed around the kitchen did nothing to improve said temper!

I will never forget the day I made Kumara soup. This was the day after I springcleaned the kitchen, including scrubbing the ceilings, the walls - you know the drill. The fricking soup exploded. Shattered glass from the pot lid, the soup everywhere, dripping down the walls, the ceiling, the floor. And to add insult to injury, it was so bad the bull mastiff wouldn't lick it up.

I sat down with a large glass of wine and cried.

My mother was due to arrive in two hours.

My Facebook memories have just reminded me that seven years ago today, when I was at home alone, ill, with a very young DS and two very busy dogs, I knocked a huge glass jar containing about thirty quid's worth of Manuka honey off a shelf and it shattered into a million pieces, launching a lethal mix of honey and glass fragments all over the tile pantry floor, the newly restored wooden floor in the hall, the very recently painted hall walls and the entire, full shoe rack. The range over which it spread was astonishing and the hideousness of cleaning it up was just unbelievable. DH had been away all week at a conference and I was absolutely exhausted and dragging my way towards bedtime. I cried.

The sheets I spent ages choosing have arrived and they're those sateen finish ones that I dislike. It didn't say this in the description. So now I'm back to staring at dozens of identical white sheets trying to decipher which ones will be soft and matte.

If anyone knows where to get White Company type sheets without their prices let me know please.

God that's a proper first world whine isn't it. It's a final straw thing though.

Enidbutton try to maxx

TK maxx

Lists Thank you, I'll have a look in there. Think I need to see and poke them in person instead of trying to buy online.

A few years ago I read on MN that you should put a drop of bleach in your empty dishwasher and run it to clean it.

I put too much in and ended up with bubbles coming out of door seals. By the end of the cycle it was like an Ibiza foam party

I suppose the bonus was a clean kitchen floor!

I spilled my hot wax pot all over my bathroom tiles. It took literally days to remove it as it set solid

Not sure whether it beats the honey jar though. Equally horrifying

I was cleaning the fire out ( like an aga type ) but I dropped the ash pan, it went everywhere then to make things worse I kicked over the full mop bucket.

I broke the shower screen it just fell out hitting the unit near by and shattering into millions of pieces that went all over the place even the landing. Unfortunately I was having a shower at the time, I couldn't move for all the glass.

My shower screen exploded whilst I was in the shower. Blood everywhere and obviously it woke my sleeping baby when it went bang. Just lucky DH was home. Scratched the (new) bath really badly but of course we had no money replace it. Just sat DCs on those non slip mats!

The day I moved in to my brand new home I was unpacking items in the kitchen. I dropped a bottle of olive oil

It went all over the floor, up the (newly painted) wall & the (brand new) kitchen units.

I swore although inside I wanted to cry

Borrowed our friends carpet cleaner (after cleaning two rooms) I decided I wanted to empty the dirty water container. But I didn’t know how to do it - I was in a newly cleaned bedroom and kind of pulled the large container containing lots of dirty water and all the water spilled out and totally soaked and stained the carpet and it stank too - we had just done a large build and it was particularly filthy water

I once hit 'grill' on the microwave to sterilise DS1s baby bottles.....the whole lot melted together into one big lump of plastic! I also dyed his washable nappies pink by mistake.....

Oh, and I don't recommend using lemons in water to steam clean the microwave, but forgetting to put the water in the bowl.....after ten minutes the microwave will be on fire and the whole house will smell of burnt metal

Boxing Day about 6 years ago I was emptying the ash from the wood burner into a carrier bag. As the fire had been lit for the longer the day before the ash hadn’t totally cooled, and melted through the bag onto my fairly expensive rug. In a panic as it started to burn the rug I grabbed Henry hoover and started hoovering up the ash, next thing smokes coming out of Henry and he’s on fire. DH found it all very funny but cost us a new rug and a new Hoover.

The day I was being awesome and made rice Krispie cakes with the DC in my clean kitchen. I dropped the full pyrex bowl onto my toe, broke my toe and peppered my kitchen chocolatey rice Krispies and a million pieces of glass. The children learnt some new words that day.

DH has also sprayed the kitchen in hot honey when he burnt his hand on Christmas day and threw the plastic pot across the room. . Naturally as he injured his hand muggins here had to continue with cooking Christmas dinner, clean everywhere and bandage his fecking hand. His entire contribution to Christmas dinner had been to heat the honey for the parsnips...

The day I had cleaned and hovered ready for a family visit only to be thwarted by my mischievous toddlers (1 & 2.5) who had discovered cold ash behind the fireguard DH had moved but not cleaned and I came back into the room with very excited children showing me hand and footprints all over the carpets and walls. They were so pleased with themselves .

My husband painted the garden fence using creosote in a spray gun type thing - forgetting the fence was slatted with gaps between the slats. He painted the fence, the grass, the driveway and his brand new white company car, by the time he finished the car was a lovely peach colour which took an age to clean off.