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Original poster

Sleepover - whats the nice way?

18 replies

CuckooSings · 10/04/2019 17:20

Dd1 is 10 and autistic. She is off tonight to her first ever sleepover. Host has an autistic child and is a Guide leader and dd1 has slept away with Cubs with this friend so i'm not worried. But having never done playdates or anything i'm not sure what i do! Do i need to send her with snacks? Or money? Mum provided the tea menu and a visual timeline for bedtime so i know there will be food. Or is it a bottle of wine for mum? I am probably overthinking this but this is dd1s first proper friendship and i really want it to go well

OP posts:
BillywilliamV · 10/04/2019 17:25

A few snacks always go down well, expect to reciprocate at some point in the future so gift for hosts not necessary. Try to make sure DS says hello to parents on entering house and please and thank you afterwards.

Beamur · 10/04/2019 17:26

That's very thoughtful of you.
I would ask if it would be helpful to send any bedding, pillow or sleeping bag maybe.
Some treats to share might be nice (I usually pop some sweets in). I wouldn't expect a gift for hosting a sleepover and unless they are doing an activity out of the house that requires payment then you're unlikely to need to send money.
The 'payment' for a sleepover would be to offer one in return at some point (if that's appropriate)
Hope she has a lovely time.

BillywilliamV · 10/04/2019 17:27

SorryOp ,she’s a girl obviously ..

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BlueMerchant · 10/04/2019 17:28

Just send DDSmile.
I personally don't send anything when my DD goes to sleepovers and don't receive anything when it's my 'turn' to host.
Maybe just offer a future playdate?

ilovebagpuss · 10/04/2019 17:28

I usually send a packet of popcorn or some sweets to share as there is usually a film watched at some point. I have never given or received anything for myself but it’s always nice when the sleepover is returned. I always make a point of texting after to say they have told me all about it and had a great time and thank the host.

PazRaz10 · 10/04/2019 17:29

I can't imagine the other mum will be expecting anything in return - I would take a small box of choccies if you do want to take something, but don't feel you have to - your DD could give them on arrival as a thank you for inviting her. Like you would if you were going to dinner at a friends?
No need for snacks, she'll have all that sorted. Maybe pop some pocket money in in case they go somewhere in the morning - depends on what time you are collecting. You could easily just ask the mum on drop of and have a tenner available in case? Hope your DD has a fabulous time x

Angelinthenightx · 10/04/2019 18:18

Id send snacks kids eat alot, i never go to anyones without taking anything i just think its a nice thing to do,i dont expect people to do it for me but i just like to do it.

Weepingwillow5 · 10/04/2019 18:19

I tend to give the mum a bottle of wine

PCohle · 10/04/2019 18:21

A bottle of wine for the parents would be lovely but isn't usual in my experience. Generally thanks is by way of reciprocation!

Personally I don't send sweets etc. Kids eat so much shite at sleepovers anyway that if they all arrive with more sweets they just end up feeling sick. I think making sure they have a little bit of money in case they go out anywhere is useful though.

flitwit99 · 10/04/2019 18:26

I usually send midnight feast sweets. Not many but a few.
And mine usually take their own sleeping bags. They like the familarity.
I've never given or received a bottle of wine but it would be nice.

Hope dd has fun

Undies1990 · 10/04/2019 19:28

Some snacks always goes down well. Nothing for the parent usually.
Offer a sleeping bag/pillow but they might not be needed, however it is polite to ask.
Enjoy your time off!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/04/2019 19:30

I always send snacks for the kids (muffins or popcorn) and booze/chocolate/flowers for the adults! If it’s a long sleepover a box of croissants from out local bakers goes down well too.

lisamac28 · 10/04/2019 19:41

I don't send anything when my DD goes to a sleepover and other kids parents have never sent anything when their kids sleepover at mine. Just offer to reciprocate.

Original poster
CuckooSings · 10/04/2019 20:16

I sent her off with snacks. I'm picking her up at 8.30 a.m (so her routine isn't too affected- rest day tomorrow!) so no activities.
I can't reciprocate sleepovers as i'm autistic and have a toddler and a child with anxiety! But i have taken the friend on days out and dd1 is keen to include her in lots more so hopefully that'll be ok.
Fingers crossed this friendship lasts. Shes always wanted a friend but bless her lacks the skills to make one.

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/04/2019 20:25

Im sure she will have a great time! But if DS is anything to go by... good luck for an 8:30 pick up!

Musicalmistress · 10/04/2019 21:18

I hope it goes well for her!

Decormad38 · 10/04/2019 21:24

If I bought wine every time my dd was on a sleepover I would be bankrupt by now! Just send them off and if you want to be generous then a packet of sweets.

Pandamodium · 10/04/2019 21:25

I sent mine with blue wkd bottles but she's a bit older.

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