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Original poster

Would you accept this job? Slightly intense, very inflexible, full time, with a young baby

32 replies

Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 09:54

I have posted recently about hating my current job. It’s making me miserable. I won’t progress in it and I’m utterly bored. It is however very very flexible (working from home a couple of times a week no issue at all), and I know what I’m doing so it’s zero stress.

I have been applying for other jobs but have been unsuccessful. I’ve been applying for about 10 months and I’ve been rejected from everything.

I have finally had an offer for a role. It’s a senior position in a slightly different sector to what I’m in now, so I would at least have a few months where I wouldn’t have a clue what I was doing. It’s totally inflexible, no home working, bums on seats in the office from 8am. It would be interesting, great salary, incredible for my future career. But a lot of work. My working hours would be a lot longer. I’m excited by the thought of it though.

Family life would undoubtedly suffer. But I could do it for a couple of years then plan to go part time? So a couple of years would be tough but it’s not forever?

Would you sacrifice the totally awful but flexible job for the exciting but totally inflexible one?

OP posts:
Original poster
Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 09:55

I should probably mention the baby is one!

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 10/04/2019 09:57

It depends on your support network. Do you have a partner? What is their job like? Can they do nursery drop off/pick up? Do you have family around to help etc?

Original poster
Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 09:59

No family. My DHs job is also long, intense and inflexible. He does drop off, I do pick up which should still work for us.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 10/04/2019 09:59

I would, yes. Short term pain for long term gain. But only if you have a supportive partner who will do his share of housework, dropping off and collecting, and taking time off when your child is ill.

UnusualBluePenguin · 10/04/2019 10:00

Only if you have excellent, really reliable childcare.

Original poster
Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 10:07

Ok thanks, that’s useful.

Yes to the very supportive DH pulling his weight. He probably does more than me as it is.

And yes to the excellent reliable childcare.

OP posts:
Palominoo · 10/04/2019 10:08

‘Family life would suffer’

Then the choice is your family or your career.

Personally, my family was/is more important than any job no matter how exciting the job.

LBOCS2 · 10/04/2019 10:20

Will it enable you to provide good quality, FLEXIBLE childcare? Because I think that's the key for both parents doing inflexible 'big' jobs - you need decent childcare which is available when your child is unwell/you have to stay an extra hour to finish something/your commute goes up the spout. It will make your life much easier and less stressful.

UnusualBluePenguin · 10/04/2019 10:23

Ask yourself this: would a man worry family life would suffer in this type of job if they had a supportive partner and excellent childcare?

Aquiline · 10/04/2019 10:24

I would, yes. Short term pain for long term gain. But only if you have a supportive partner who will do his share of housework, dropping off and collecting, and taking time off when your child is ill.

This, exactly. You're miserable as things are, so bite the bullet and change things. Family life can absorb a temporary hit.

Aquiline · 10/04/2019 10:25

Ask yourself this: would a man worry family life would suffer in this type of job if they had a supportive partner and excellent childcare?

Indeed.

clarrylove · 10/04/2019 10:30

I wouldn't as the timing seems to be all wrong with a one year old. I would look to be part time now and increasing hours when they start school.

79problems · 10/04/2019 10:31

A dad would never ask this question.

Go for the new job!

DizzyPhillips · 10/04/2019 10:35

I wouldn’t. But I do sympathise and wouldn’t judge if you decided to go for it.

I didn’t apply for my dream job recently. Wrong time in my life for it. I don’t regret it. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back round again.

DizzyPhillips · 10/04/2019 10:35

My DH wouldn’t go for it either though. He hates his job but the flexibility it offers is ideal for us just now. We need that.

onegrapeshortofabunch · 10/04/2019 10:38

Yes, take it. Now is a good time, when your child can be in nursery for normal working days. When s/he starts school, wrap around care gets much more complex. So if I was you I would take the job now, get some seniority/ experience in the bank with a view to doing something a bit more flexible in a few years.

But I would agree that you need to consider what you’ll do when your child is ill.

amusedbush · 10/04/2019 10:54

Do it. Push through for a couple of years, really bed in and then see if you can work more flexibility.

MotherWol · 10/04/2019 11:06

Would the pay be enough to cover a cleaner, perhaps a more flexible type of childcare, like a nanny? I'm just thinking about things like if your child has D&V which would keep them off nursery for a few days, or you had to stay late at work and couldn't guarantee to get there for pickup time. If you're working in a role that's demanding you want to be able to outsource as much of the boring and domestic stuff so you can spend your leisure time relaxing and enjoying life as a family.

Crunchymum · 10/04/2019 11:11

If the job is so inflexible now, how can you be sure you can go part time "in a few years" ?

What will you do when child is sick?

Original poster
Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 11:25

Thanks so much for the input. I adore my daughter and it already breaks my heart sending her to nursery every day (though she loves it and gets upset at the weekend when we aren’t going to put her coat on at nursery time).

I am so desperately unhappy though in my current work situation. And we could afford to increase the amount the cleaner comes to cover some of the household jobs.

OP posts:
79problems · 10/04/2019 11:47

Give yourself a two year plan. Anything is survivable for two years. Go and be the best employee you can be and after two years you’ll either be in a position for promotion, moving on to a better job, or able to make a case for more flexible working.

Buy in a cleaner, get some of the healthy nice ready meals from Waitrose.

Don’t sacrifice your career for the sake of two years!

Think of the pension!

Original poster
Needallthesleep · 10/04/2019 11:51

Some excellent advice here. Thank you all

OP posts:
Her0utdoors · 10/04/2019 11:53

Don't do yourself down, if you've been offered the job, your prospective employer obviously doesn't think you won't know what you will be clueless for a couple of months. They are obviously confident in your ability to do the work they require. I say go for it.

RikoBitch · 10/04/2019 11:56

Go for it. You never know what will happen in the future. Invest in your career while you can and have the chance.

Your DD is well cared for, and she'll benefit from having a mother with an interesting job.

PinkOboe · 10/04/2019 11:58

you know long hours and inflexible roles are actually much easier while a child is at nursery. Once they're at school wrap around childcare / holidays / being unable to attend assemblies and other school events make life FAR more difficult in my opinion.

i'd get get the experience now and look to reduce hours / move somewhere more flexible with your gained experience in a few years once the DC is at at shcool

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