If you are super organised and good at juggling lots of things, please tell me how!

[terriblyoriginalusername]

I'll try not to go on too long!

I have a 5yo and a baby. Went back to work part time in Jan when baby was 3 months old.
I work freelance, for a few different organisations and I just feel like I've been continually messing up. I missed a deadline for one a couple of months ago (as in, I forgot and it passed me by), managed to send a wrong report (last year instead of this year) to another. Most recently, as Secretary for a committee I am on (voluntary) I minuted something that was supposed to be 'off record' and have massively upset and offended someone consequently. I would have noticed this if I had properly proof read but I finished typing them up at home in a massive rush as baby was grizzling and hungry and I'd promised 5yo to take him swimming...

I feel like I'm just letting people down left right and centre at work, while simultaneously feeling guilt for not being around enough for my family, being distracted from my 5yo as I field emails and try to sort out my mistakes and keep on top of things...

I think I'm not a very naturally organised person. I think I do have time in my life somewhere (i.e. here I am posting on mn..)
Baby was ebf until we very recently began solids, still feeds at night, cannot tell you how many hours of my life I have lost to bloody expressing!
I should mention that maternity leave where I live is normally 3 months, so I don't think anyone here thinks it's anything special working with such a young baby as it is the norm here.

Thank you for reading this far if you did!
I guess partly I just wanted to vent, but seriously if anyone has any tips I would love to hear them!

Lists, lists and more lists!

Lists are your friend.

I got a planner. It really helps.

I use these. Mum of 5, head teacher!

Use diary, calendar or phone.
Stick to one system and check it regularly.

Do you have a partner? Are they pulling their weight?

Your back at work with a young baby - do you have childcare or are you trying to work around the baby?

That sounds tough, you’re bound to miss things at this stage due to sleep deprivation!

So I do the following;

• deadlines written into top of calendar (with alerts set up)
• to do lists for everything (on fridge at home and big pad at work). Every required task goes on with priority written down, but if I get 5 minutes and can chuck the washing or dust I do that in that time. I try and make chunks of time to do larger tasks. You can also see if you’ve got too much on at work, and can talk about giving a task away or letting it slide.
• multi tasking ie doing 20 minutes of house cleaning but doing everything at the same time is brilliant. Example, spray shower/sink/toilet whilst emptying all upstairs bins, Hoover, then go back and wipe shower/sink/toilet. Take bins downstairs with dirty washing, load washing machine etc etc (you get the idea) I can get more done in 20 mins than a proper standard cleaning way of each room at a time.

Get a yearly planner definitely, I'm a mum of 3 with a full time job, admin/secretary for my husbands business, treasurer on a voluntary local association and general dogsbody and taxi for the kids and their many activities! All in a second language as we don't live in the uk! I have an agenda that is filled in weeks in advance, I check it every night for the next day and plan accordingly! It's hard work, I'm always the 1st up and the last to bed but generally life runs reasonably smoothly! Thank goodness for wine though! My kids are a little older at 10, 8 and 6 though

Do less.
Make sure the few things you are doing, you're doing well.
Then gradually, increase the number of things you need to juggle.
There's no point in you aiming to be Superwoman and do everything if you are not naturally organised. You CAN totally be Superwoman, but you need to go at your own pace and speed, getting comfortable with each role required of you, before you try and do everything all at the same time.

You are doing too much. Drop the volunteering. Minuting something that was supposed to be off record isn't something buying a planner can fix.

When you are this busy you can't see the solutions. You need a break. A complete break. When I am travelling to a holiday I usually get my best ideas. Do you have a break coming up and anyone who can help with the children?

OP - there was a thread with a similar question very recently. I was so keen to know ‘the secret’ that I physically wrote down all the main points...

The thing that stood out to me was that a lot of people would casually sneak in how they used their day off work whilst the kids were at childcare/school whilst waxing lyrical about planners and bouncing out of bed at 5am etc.

Some people have a big chunk of spare time to sort stuff out. If you don’t, don’t compare yourself to them!

Personally, sounds to me like you are more organised than I will ever be - don’t think I could have minuted anything whilst also looking after small child big child and myself. I’d forgive yourself your mistakes, say no wherever you can and outsource whatever you can (laundry, childcare, cleaning, lawn-mowing, whatever).

I mean also the right planning system might help (I roughly follow a bullet journal system and it’s better than my previous list systems) but also cut yourself some slack!

I have a triple planning system: I plan the whole year ahead in September (academic year). Then on Sundays I plan the week ahead.
Then I plan each day in detail (by the hour) the night before.

Each level pf planning needs different adjustments and I can allow for health, new deadlines etc doing it this way.
I'm a f/t lecturer, 3 children, husband away Mon-Fri and I'm studying for a qualification too. I'm knackered but my planning system works.

I'd say you are trying to do to much! You went back to work when your baby was just three months, and unless you have a really easy baby there's no way I could have done that! My brain was scrambled from lack of sleep, and constant juggling, and all the lists in the world didn't improve things until both my DC slept through the night.
Honestly OP give up the voluntary work, you have plenty of time to help out with things, but now is not the time with a young.
If the children's DF is around could have the children so you can proof read, or can he proof read for you?
An over tired, exhausted brain is not going to be as efficient as a well rested one. All you can do is start double/ triple checking things....I made some absolute humdingers at work, when I returned to work after mat. Leave, luckily I just looked like a twit but no harm was done, and in the end I dropped my hours (we were very fortunate in DH earns well and we could still meet all our bills on my reduced hours....no holidays, or little luxuries like eating out, but it's a trade off we were willing to make for a calmer, home/ work life balance.
Sorry it's not a very helpful post, but be reassured your not alone in cocking up when trying to juggle to many things, and it's really, really important you look after your mental health.

And clearly I'm still a twit as that post is incomprehensible in parts!
No ideas where the missing 'baby' went at the end of first paragraph, or where the extra 'leave' appeared from.
will teach me not to proof read my own posts, before posting

You're doing too much.

Your primary energy at the moment is and should be going into your children and your main job.

Take a sabbatical from the voluntary committee. You must.

If you have too many clients and projects for your freelance employment, cut back temporarily or be VERY choosy about who and how you agree to projects. No short-term "could you just", " we know it's short notice but" agreements. Protect your time jealously. be very clear - I have X amount of time and I will be available to take this on at Y time. Get OK with saying No. Rather than going against you, if you are busy enough and confident enough to decline work then people value you more.

Be ruthless about estimating how long something will take. I suffer from this - I think I can achieve more than is actually reasonable.

I like both Bullet Journal system (write EVERYTHING in one notebook), or if you prefer a digital system I like Trello - same idea but basically an online pinboard for lists.

But mainly, cut yourself some slack and accept that you don't need more time, you need less to achieve in the time you have.

You need to write everything down somewhere. You will NOT remember.

Also, I do everything as soon as I can, I don't put things off if there is any possibility of getting it done immediately.

And yeah, I would drop the voluntary stuff.

Give up the voluntary work immediately.

Use a detailed planner, daily To Do lists etc.

Drink plenty of water, rest when you can.

Simplify your daily life, eg plain quickly cooked meals, no ironing clothes, etc etc. Later on you can add complexity back in when you have the time and energy.

Thanks everyone.
I am doing a fair bit less than pre baby.

I think the thing is, my mum was a SAHM and so I feel super conscious of trying to be around enough for my children. My friends in the UK are all horrified that I'm back to work so early. So I feel stressed and guilty for taking myself away from the baby so much.

Simultaneously, I live ina culture where it is the norm for mums to go back to work full time very early. So I feel stressed and guilty that I'm struggling to cope working only part time. I find it hard to say 'I can't do x because baby 'when other people ARE doing it all.

So I'm putting on this face that it's all easy and breezy and I am coping and so people assume I am just as capable as normal and then I fuck up.
And then I go home and I'm not as happy and present for my children as I'm stressing about work.

I do need a better system for writing all this down and will definitely check out suggestions.

Re the voluntary position, the person who was covering for me recently asked me to take it back as she is too busy (!!) When I first took it on, no one else wanted to do it and no one else wants to do it now so I feel a bit stuck.

If it’s voluntary then that’s kind of not your problem..... I know that sounds awful but I felt like I was guilt tripped into keeping a voluntary role (lots of paperwork / admin) and I just couldn’t cope. For my own health, I gave them a deadline that I wouldn’t be fulfilling the role anymore but continued until then with the urgent stuff. Do you know the thanks I got at the end? Nothing! Someone else was thanked for MY HARD WORK (I am very bitter about it). So you won’t be thanked necessarily and your pushing yourself to do it.

It is voluntary, you don't have to do it.

Another thing I do is Monday to Friday we have the same meals on a rota. All really healthy, vegetarian and quick. I do groceries on a Monday and my shopping list is the same every Monday due to above rota. I have my shopping list sorted and saved in the order that I move around the shop.

A bit of pre-planning once and now I can do the week's shop in under 30 minutes.

Things are rather more relaxed on weekends as DH/DS1 often cooks/shops.

I have memory loss due to illness, so I use the One Note app to make lists. I do a daily "to do" list, literally everything goes on there - take medication, put DD's uniform out for the next day, wash up, do laundry, any bits of shopping we need, etc. I also have lists for other stuff, e.g. if we have a holiday coming up, I make a list of what to pack, & a list with links for things to do while we're there. My phone stays in my pocket all day & I check it constantly to see what I need to do next / if I can tick anything off. Every evening I copy & paste to a fresh list for the next day & add any new things that need doing, remove any completed tasks. I also have lists of things I have, things I want - e.g. for a hobby, birthday presents for people, etc.

Do you have childcare? You can’t be a working Mum and a SAHM without childcare both at the same time.

I think I'm being even less effective/more forgetful due to being stressed and unhappy. Vicious circle.

All the people talking about ruthless planning and constantly checking apps, do you not hate it?! I struggle with relaxing and focusing on my kids when I have this constant mental to do list hovering over me.

I care deeply about my children and deeply about my work, and i feel I'd be fantastic at either without the other. Now I feel like I'm just doing a half arsed crappy job of both paid work and being a mother.

Yes I do have a wonderful nanny and so that helps a lot. I am physically out of the house for the bulk of my work, it's just all the other bits and bobs, writing things up, the expectation that i should be able to respond to an email any time that constantly hovers over me.

I have a calendar on my phone synced to the one in my office. All my kids and dh are in a WhatsApp group for general family messages. I have a notebook that I use very occasionally. That's it.

I have a good job, four kids, three horses, three dogs, ill local PILS, and volunteer in a food bank and on a sports club commitee.

My point is, if I am well and happy and healthy I can manage all this without endless lists and list checking.

Just to add, the rest of the time I am very lazy. I don't clean much, insist on lazing around reading so everyone has to get their own dinner fairly often, and walk and run on my own in the countryside. That's how I manage it, not with apps!!