Sahms, what is your daily routine?

[anotherroutine]

Just that really. I have 4 lovely kids, but even though I am a sahm, I feel like I don't spend enough time with them. Oldest 2 are in their first year of primary, 3rd is in nursery and youngest (2yo) is at home with me. Our routine is as follows-

-Get up, do the morning stuff, dh goes to work and I drop the older 3 off on foot with youngest in the buggy

-Go for a 45 min walk. Pop to shops if we need anything

-We are usually home by 1020am and then I spend 45mins-1hr doing household stuff like cleaning/laundry etc. Youngest potters around with me and plays

-I then grab 10minutes for a breather and try to spend some time playing with dd

-12pm we collect older child from nursery. Get home and spend half an hour prepping lunch and chatting to the kids before leaving to collect older dcs at 1pm.

-Get older dcs home and changed. Give the kids lunch. Put youngest up for nap.

-By this time, I am usually exhausted and need a few minutes peace so I put on the TV for the older kids in the playroom and have my lunch. Then spend an hour (if allowed) on the couch reading/relaxing

-Youngest gets up, kids play in garden where I can see from the kitchen as I prepare dinner

-DH comes home, we eat, spend a bit of family time and then do the bedtime routine

We do arts and crafts or baking a few times a week before lunch or after the youngest gets up from nap. But I feel guilty for plonking them all in front of the TV in the afternoon while I take an hour on the couch I feel like I should be spending this time with the older 3, but then I'd never get a break 🙈 At the weekend we do lots of family stuff so I know that counts, but I feel like daily life is passing us by.

I have 4 and the same issue! Sometimes on the weekend I get frustrated because it feels like DH gets to actually play with them while j spend so much of my time with half an eye on them and half unloading the dishwasher / sorting the washing etc. I've organised a cleaner to come once a week, it has meant that we'll be cutting back elsewhere and camping for our summer holiday, but I think it's hugely worth it.

6am - woken by 7mo, he sits in chair while DH and I shower and get ready and chat with him
6.45 older kids up. DH oversees breakfast then leaves for work.
All dress, do teeth (7 and 5 year old by themselves, 2 year old with supervision). If the younger ones and I are going out for the day we pack a lunch
8.30am walk to school for older 2
9.15am - usually go to park or if it's rainy a morning playgroup to burn off some energy. Sometimes go a bit further to a big playground central London to a museum etc
11ish - if having a home day, I pop home and make lunch, try to get the 2 yo to help and baby is on my arm in bouncer
12ish after lunch, baby naps in cot or buggy, 2 yo watches 2 X cbeebies episodes while I have a tea/ use phone etc. Then he plays with toys (he's just dropped his nap) or helps me clean and tidy for 20-30 mins

Then we play in the garden or head to the shops or a local park
3.15 - head back to school for pickup. Usually pop to park after with a ball, sometimes have a playdate or club
5pm home and they either read/play or help me cook (or if I'm knackered and they are rowdy they watch TV, but I try not to)
6pm all in the bath and shower
7pm littles to bed
8pm big one to bed
DH sometimes arrives at 7, which is amazing, but if not then I collapse exhausted at 8! He then does any leftover cleaning after dinner etc.

I don't see the problem?

Stop worrying OP and enjoy your hour. Imo having downtime means I parent better than if I didn't.

Sounds like you all have a great setup.

Enjoy your hour!! I wish mine would let me have an hour on the sofa

Meant to add - something that has really helped me (and really helped with behaviour, especially for my slightly tricky 5 year old), is 'special time'. It's setting aside a short period of time per day or every few days to totally focus on them. It sounds a bit cheesy, but I've found it really valuable, and harder than I expected!

www.ahaparenting.com/blog/How_To_Special_Time

Thanks everyone. It's just when I think of sahms, I always think of women who have enough time to cook and clean AND spend a few hours each day giving undivided attention to their kids, playing etc. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself.

Stuck your routine sounds fairly similar to mine. I think I should try and fit an outing to the park after the afternoon school run, it might help. I just find that when we're at home, there's always other things to be doing (and the kids make more mess). Whereas when we're out theres nothing else to concentrate on except the kids.

I will look into special time too 👍

Sounds fine to me 🤷🏻‍♀️. I have 3 (5, 3 and 12 weeks). Eldest at school, middle one at pre school 3 days a week. Outside of this I take the youngest to groups/farm parks/to see friends etc. Oldest does an activity (rainbows/swimming etc) 3 evenings a week. When we’re all at home after school they play/draw/watch a bit of TV/we doa school reading/piano practice. There’s a park on our way home from school so if the sun is shining we stop off there for a bit.

Maybe put the youngest down for a nap in the morning and you have a rest.

I remember that age its just go,go,go all the time.Dont give yourself a hard time,You are doing your best.

I only have 2 dc , 3 and 5, eldest is in reception and youngest is I pre school 2 days a week. We get up at 7, do usual morning stuff then walk ds to school. 3 days a week me and dd do things together, so toddler groups, farm, parks, library etc, the other 2 she's at pre school. I do pick ups for them every day and we get home at 3.45 ish (they go to an activity one afternoon a week)and we play until 5, then tea, reading books, tidy up, bath bed. The 2 days a week dd goes to pre school are my free days, I volunteer one of the days and clean/cook on the other. Are you two older ones only in half days? We rejected the school nursery and kept dd in pre school so that she could have 2 days rather than splitting every day in half having to pick her up from nursery.

If you have 4 kids, there is inevitably going to be less 1 on 1 time with each of them than if you have 1 or 2, but it's swings & roundabouts because they have their siblings to play with, which is lovely. Don't beat yourself up, OP - you're working 7 days a week in a very demanding job. An hour on the sofa to maintain your sanity benefits everyone.