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To feel depressed of the realisation that I'll never able to leave the ghetto

33 replies

wrapping · 09/04/2019 07:00

We live in a dump. It's a deprived area but over the last 7 years it's very rapidly declined. There's a massive influx of people to the area via new food outlets and the building iof new college / uni buildings nearby. The parking is a joke- drivers become so aggressive just waiting for you to park your car ( if you're lucky to find a spot that is) .

The litter is horrific. The council litter pickers can't come often enough. All their hard work only lasts for a day before it's filthy again with takeaway trays and coffee cups and just all sorts of crap that just doesn't make any sense - there was a bag of hair on the corner the other day! Disgusting!

Fly tipping is also a huge problem. There's aggressive and antisocial teens hanging out causing trouble. The young kids playing outside are scared of them - they' steal their football/ bikes off them.

I could go on about other stuff but these are the main things. It genuinely wasn't like this when we moved here. I recently did a petition around my street and it was so sad hearing people feeling the same. So many like us regret buying here and want to leave but can't. Most of us are on modest incomes. We feel trapped. We're just about paying off the mortgage and to move to a nice area would mean a very high mortgage which is impossible.
Please don't tell me to just get a higher paid job/ retrain/ shit golden nuggets . We'd all be doing that if that was the case. I'm just having a big moan, that's all!

We've told the local councillorbabout these issues but they don't want to know.

OP posts:
Al2O3 · 09/04/2019 07:20

Which city OP?

Chilledout11 · 09/04/2019 07:22

Sounds horrible and such a pity when you have worked so hard to pay the mortgage off. Last resort could you rent the house out and rent somewhere else or would there be a shortfall ?

Bagpuss5 · 09/04/2019 07:28

Thing is about teens is that they grow up, so maybe 10 years ago lots of families moved in, their DCs should be moving on in the next 5years or so. DynAmics change.
Maybe have a litter picking team.lots of publicity, danger due to needles and traffic, get it in local paper. It might influence the council. And speed bumps, won't they fit some? It helps if there has been near miss accidents.

Etino · 09/04/2019 07:29

Can you completely reboot? If for example you’re a nurse living in Croydon/ Thornton Heath,
partner commuting into London, you could move to Ipswich or Colchester or a village nearby and everything would massively change. Unfortunately there’s so much wrong withbwhere you’re living it’s unlikely to change otherwise.
Another strategy would be to insulate yourself/ shrug about the situation. Parking has never bothered me, and I’ve lived having park a street away and lug 3 non walkers and shopping in, the hair was weave and it’s great there’s women in small businesses, befriend the take away owners and lobby for more bins, befriend the kids and get babysitters...
The latter is unfeasible althoughbwould change the way you feel a bit.
Flowers

MairzyDoats · 09/04/2019 07:30

If you've done a petition and there's local support could you form a community group to help clear the litter /put up signs /lobby the food places to help fund litter picks and green up spaces, maybe get people working in their gardens if an evening so the younger children can play outside?

Cloverisover · 09/04/2019 07:42

We were in the same boat and in the end just sold up and left them to it. Back to square one with smaller house and bigger mortgage. But at least I can sleep at night.

BiscuitDrama · 09/04/2019 07:45

Are there other areas of the country that are as cheap but nicer? I’m agreeing with Etino

wrapping · 09/04/2019 08:03

Al2O3 we're in a shitty town in the nw! All our family is here including both sets of GPS.

Chilledout11 we are still paying off the mortgage! Still a massive amount to us ( but peanuts I'm sure in comparison to London/ south prices). Some neighbours who bought cheaply years and years ago have paid off the mortgage a while back and even they aren't in a position to sell and buy elsewhere as house prices are too high and the nicer areas ( by nice I dont mean the desirable areas just pleasant / ok areas) are out of reach. Realistically we can all move sideways but that's just going to a slightly less of a dump which just doesn't make it feel worth it. Renting would definitely mean out if pocket by alot if we were to rent out the house.

OP posts:
wrapping · 09/04/2019 08:13

The people here feel really despondent and hopeless. Theyve given up. The local council has granted planning permission to things that residents objected to. They let it all through and we, the residents are the ones suffering.

The building that houses food places used to be a labour club which gave us no bother bar a bit of crap loud music every Saturday night. It was sold to a guy who has converted the club into several fast food outlets. There was a meeting with him and residents and we voiced our concerns about traffic/ parking / litter / ppl hanging about but he "promised" none of that would happen and the council let it all through and Don't seem to care.

OP posts:
wrapping · 09/04/2019 08:20

Cloverisover leaving is definitely what we want to do. It's just a matter of devising a relaistic plan. I'm so fed up. It really affects your mental health.

OP posts:
reefedsail · 09/04/2019 08:23

Could you and a set of GPs sell and buy something together elsewhere?

Timeforabiscuit · 09/04/2019 08:30

Local paper and pressure, pressure, pressure!

Hold your local councillor to account the littering, local police, schools and youth services for the kids - they will start to cause more trouble if left, getting some activities like twilight football could help as "diversionary activities".

Once an area descends in the way you describe its hard work to bring it back up, it absolutely can be with people who are activists for it - but you need to get bolshy! Dont ask, tell them its not good enough, repeatedly!

DocusDiplo · 09/04/2019 08:33

Sorry OP Flowers

Lazydaisies · 09/04/2019 08:59

The town I live in has dropped a lot in the last few years. Constant open drug/alcohol use. Homelessness issues. Throwing beer cans constantly go over into our garden from all directions.. Parking has always been a nightmare but is getting worse.

There has been some very positive community engagement with the addicts which I think has been instrumental in keeping a lid on the worst of the behaviour. I definitely think community action will have the best outcome for you.

Palominoo · 09/04/2019 09:08

I really feel for you, it sounds awful.

A community action group might help and at least you feel like you’re doing something.

I’d move to a one bed flat in a nice neighbourhood rather than live in a house with x bedrooms in a bad area but that’s just me.

AndromedaPerseus · 09/04/2019 09:18

Unfortunately it’s a growing problem around the country I live in an area which has had massive development over the last 10 years with the loss of green spaces and community but very little increased infrastructure to service the growing population. Every other family sized house is being converted into HMOs which LL break health and safety laws to cram as many tenants in as possible population is becoming more transient resulting in a lack of care over litter, noise and neighbourly relations.

I despair at our current political class all they care about is the taxes their policies bring in rather than the quality of life of their electorate. I think there is a deep discontent and anger amongst the population at what is happening to this country and at the politicians that have allowed this to happen

Holidayshopping · 09/04/2019 09:20

We're just about paying off the mortgage

How long have you got left to go?

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 09/04/2019 09:22

Have you thought about becoming a local councillor? You won't be the only one feeling like that.

wowfudge · 09/04/2019 09:23

I think she means they can just about afford the mortgage payments, but I may be wrong.

Springwalk · 09/04/2019 09:28

OP I would move with or without your GPs.

Your future and that of your children is far more important than living close to family. Who knows they may decide to come with you. You are not going to be able to change a culture of despair single handed. Move to a place where there is hope and optimism, even if you have down size to do so.

Babdoc · 09/04/2019 09:29

How about contacting your local church outreach team, and discussing possible strategies with them? They may be able to engage with local youths by setting up a youth club and some fun activities, to get the teens off the street, or a volunteer rota for litter picking. Planting some flowers and greenery can have a calming effect and improve the environment, making the neighbourhood more attractive.
Get together with like minded neighbours to form an action commmittee to lobby the council for improvements, and to make some yourselves. Ask residents what changes they’d like to see, then work to make those happen.
Very often, it just needs a more positive mindset, OP. If you give in to despair, the area will just continue to go downhill. It can be invigorating and uplifting to take it into your own hands and work together to turn it around. A small beginning can soon snowball. Look at how quickly grotty areas of inner cities can become des res hipster/yuppie ones! Don’t give up hope.

wrapping · 09/04/2019 12:19

I understand what you're saying. We can either wallow or actually do something about it. But I went around for the petition their was such a feeling of hopelessness. We don't feel valued or listened to and we have tried a few things here and there but I do think we could work better by rallying together. Alot of us feel whats the point and dh and the kids every now and again do a litter pick but that's just them. The council litter pickers do come regularly. It's the rate at which the streets get trashed they can't keep up with. They'd need to come every few days which I'm sure they don't have the money for.

OP posts:
CarrotVan · 09/04/2019 12:47

Local elections are in a month. If your councillors are useless then start a campaign to vote them out. Contact all the candidates for your ward and ask them how they'd deal with it.

If it's social housing then complain about anti-social behaviour to the HA/HT

Contact your local community policing team with your concerns and Enviromental Health if there are relevant concerns

Get CCTV and encourage others to do the same.

Bagpuss5 · 09/04/2019 13:09

What is your line of work?

SeasonalVag · 09/04/2019 13:11

WHERE are you OP? There's bound to be at least one other local MNer on here who feels the same way....