How do you encourage a healthy relationship with food?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

I try not to say no to my kids all the time in regards to sweets etc but I do say no if they ask too often. I allow sweets maybe 2-3 times a week and the same with chocolate - this doesn't mean they eat that much but that would be my upper limit if they were to ask. I always explain that moderation is key and I cite their health and teeth as reasons when I do say no. I also show them my teeth which are awful!
My parents had a rule that we could have one pack of crisps and one chocolate (biscuit) bar every day and no more. I am not sure this is healthy either as you shouldn't need to eat crisps and chocolate every day.
What do you do to encourage a healthy relationship? I want to start cooking more with them and getting them involved with meal plannng but they are only 6 & 3 and mostly eat at school.

By modelling, mostly.
By what you provide on the table before them every day.

This isn't about junk food, but DM was always forced to finish what was on her plate, often past the point when she was full, and had no choice over portion sizes. She's always struggled with her weight.

By contrast, I was never forced to finish what was on my plate, and could simply stop eating when I felt full. I've always been naturally slim.

There's also some evidence that eating slowly protects against weight gain because it takes a few minutes for your stomach to tell your brain you're full, and in that gap excess calories are consumed.

I agree with modelling.

My DD is a grazer and a snacker. She's only 4. I've tried to reign in the snacks (we are talking bread sticks or biscuits) but have told her she can have fruit any time.

Am also making sure treats are treats and not an every day thing.

She is like me. She will 'be hungry' when she's actually bored so distraction and activity is key.

My parents were incredibly controlling about food. I was expected to eat everything on my plate and most Sunday afternoons were spent miserably on my own at the dining room table, playing with the requisite four Brussels sprouts. At the same time my parents expressed disgust at anyone with a less than perfect figure (only women, obviously).

My approach with DD was to have all foods always available - nothing was banned and she knew that she could have what she wanted at any time. She's never liked chocolate and even at 21 doesn't eat it. I've no control experiment and nothing to compare to, but she's naturally slim and has never limited her food intake. I feel that making food into a reward or treat makes it more attractive.

Yeah I never make the kids finish there plates. I ask that they have eaten a reasonable amount and if they really don't want more than a few mouthfuls then I leave it but don't offer anything else either.
We eat pretty healthily at the moment. Had a diet overhaul last year and the fruit bowl is always full and they can have whatever from that.