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Original poster

Please help me feel better - made DD be sick

17 replies

screamer1 · 08/04/2019 20:32

DD was complaining before dinner of how hungry they are (4 yo). Her gran is down and made mashed potatoes and sausages. I know she doesn't like mashed potato and these particular sausages had apple in or something. DD kicking up a real stink saying that they didn't like it and wouldn't eat it. DD does this sometimes. With a bit of encouragement she will normally eat and all is fine in the world.

Anyway, tonight I thought it was a similar situation. I said it was fine to not eat it but they wouldn't be having a cookie that they'd baked with grandma for pudding. Which obviously meant she ate a bit of the dinner.

Anyway, she then didn't want the cookie and has spent the last 2 hours being sick in the toilet. She's asleep now and DH is lying in bed with her.

I feel absoloutely awful. So guilty for encouraging her to eat some more when she obviously didn't want to.

OP posts:

lickencivers · 08/04/2019 20:34

How much did she eat? Extra on top of normal size portions? Or just try it.

Original poster

screamer1 · 08/04/2019 20:35

No not extra on top, just a few mouth fulls. Maybe half a portion of normal dinner

OP posts:

Palominoo · 08/04/2019 20:38

It might not have been the mash and sausage that made her unwell.

Or are you saying she made herself sick with a tantrum over it?

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kimlo · 08/04/2019 20:41

sounds like she was going to be sick anyway.

hidinginthenightgarden · 08/04/2019 20:41

My DS is like this sometimes.
He once made himself sick because DH said if he tried corn on the cob he could have icecream. He was sick after one bite. It is purely anxiety related and nothing to do with the food. He had never tried it so couldn't know he didn't like it - he is just scared of new foods.
I try not to push it now. I told him that when he tries new foods he will get a coin towards his savings and I have done exactly that every time he has tried. Sometimes he tries on his own sometimes he refuses.

Original poster

screamer1 · 08/04/2019 20:42

No it definitely wasn't sick from a tantrum. I don't know what it was from, but she obviously didn't want to eat becuase she was already feeling sick, or she's been sick because the dinner made her sick. And there was I saying, just have 2 more spoonfuls.

Poor thing. She's been sick 3 times. I feel absolutely riddled with guilt.

OP posts:

Sizeofalentil · 08/04/2019 20:43

Do you think it's a stomach bug? It honestly doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. You feel guilty because you're a good parent, not because you're a bad one

Claw01 · 08/04/2019 20:45

Sounds like she may have a bug and would have been sick regardless of what she did or did not eat. Not your fault

RogueV · 08/04/2019 20:47

Honestly sounds like a bug nothing you have done!

Hope she feels better soon.

justasking111 · 08/04/2019 20:50

It is a bug, at that age they cannot tell you what is wrong they just go off their food as the first sign.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 08/04/2019 20:52

You did nothing wrong! These things happen... Don't get worked up about it, it wasn't your fault. Sounds like she has a bug, no biggie.

CoodleMoodle · 08/04/2019 20:54

Happened to me a couple of years ago OP. DD was about 3.5, was really grumpy all day and refused to eat dinner. We have a few eating issues and it seemed just like that. I got slightly irritated with her for yet more food refusal of something she actually liked...

And then she went to bed and threw up everywhere multiple times. I felt so guilty for a long time but it wasn't my fault, like this wasn't your fault. If she's got a stomach bug or similar then she would've been sick anyway.

Hope she's feeling better soon!

Original poster

screamer1 · 08/04/2019 20:58

She was saying as she was being sick on the 3rd time "why did you make me eat that food". My heart broke!

I'm probably being over sensitive, she's literally just recovered from Scarlet fever and it's been a tough few weeks.

When it's like that I'm prone to over-analysisng every parenting move we make, with a constant internal dialogue of things like "Why on earth did you encourage her to eat....that's akin to force-feeding, she should be in charge of her own appetite etc,etc "

Bloody hell parenting is exhausting sometimes.

OP posts:

Claw01 · 08/04/2019 21:02

I have 3 kids, well 2 adults and a 15 year old now!

I’ve lost count of the number of times, I’ve unwittingly sent them to school while ill! Then felt terrible!

Fannydango · 08/04/2019 21:08

If it makes you feel any better, I did something similar when my DS was a toddler. He wouldn’t eat his dinner and I went on and on at him to “just eat a bit”. He finally had a mouthful and 10minutes later, threw up everywhere. He was at the age where he couldn’t yet talk and so couldn’t tell me he didn’t want to eat because he felt poorly. I felt absolutely dreadful and still do when I think back now. I thought he was refusing dinner because he was playing up or something.

So please don’t beat yourself up. You clearly wouldn’t have encouraged her to eat if you’d known she wasn’t feeling great. And actually reading your post has made me feel a little less bad so I hope my story does the same for you. None of us is a perfect parent. X

Original poster

screamer1 · 08/04/2019 21:33

Thank you all. Good to know i'm not alone in messing up like this!

OP posts:

llangennith · 08/04/2019 21:38

Tell her about the little boy who cried 'Wolf'. DGS would often say he felt sick if he didn't fancy eating/sitting at the table/stopping what he was doing so we didn't know whether he was trying it on or really felt sick. If he really was sick then we'd obviously be sympathetic but explain that we hadn't believed him because he often said this just to avoid getting up to the table.
He's a popular and confident 11yo now and eats most things but he does have social anxiety about eating lunch in school. He hardly eats anything for lunch and dinner is at 4.30😂

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