Hi, I'm new to this site but just wanted some advice please!
I have been separated from my husband for just over 5 years now, we split due to his emotional abuse. We have an 11 year old boy and an 8 year old girl. Our arrangement works well in that they spend 3 nights a week with him, the rest of the week with me. Their Dad has had a long term girlfriend and they have both been fine with this.
I now have a partner who I believe to be 'the one'- if that is even possible! I made the mistake a few years ago of introducing the kids to another partner. My 11 year old did not take this well, becoming aggressive to him and threatening him. He has said that he will never let me have a boyfriend and that if I do he will always get rid of them. I am awaiting an assesment for him for possible autism and adhd.
I am looking to the future and am hoping to introduce the new partner to the kids fairly soon. My partner is well aware of how my son is and is more than capable of being able to manage the situation.
Question is, do I do it and how do I go about it?! Part of me thinks not to bother and to just see my partner when I don't have the kids, but that means lying to my son about what I'm doing when he's not with me, the other part of me thinks what a good role model my partner will be for the kids (their Dads not the greatest) and how given time and adjustment he will be great for my son, also, and perhaps selfishly, I want to have someone with me and have a 'normal' relationship, some support and company!