Kids scared the shit out of me yesterday

[birdiebirdiewoofwoof]

Yesterday was DD(9)'s birthday party - 5 girls invited over from her class. As it went on they got a bit giddy and started an epic game of hide and seek all over the house with DS(3) - all having fun, they were being lovely with him and he was having a whale of a time.

Then DD came to tell me they were throwing food out of her window so I went upstairs to have a word. One of them was sitting on the windowsill in DD's room with the big window wide fucking open and DS sitting on her lap. I got them straight down and the windows are now locked shut as they clearly should have been all along. I feel so stupid but I never dreamed a group of normally-sensible 9 year old girls would do something like that. I think they thought it was safe because she was holding onto him... To be fair they looked a bit shocked and apologised when I told them it wasn't safe, but fucking hell.

Today I can't go to that side of the house without picturing my little DS falling two storeys onto the concrete. In my head I can hear him hitting the ground and I can't make it stop. I know nothing happened and we've taken steps to make sure it can't happen in the future - and we will be issuing regular reminders about not climbing up there - but I'm a mess.

I don't even know what I'm looking for with this thread, really, I just want to tell somebody. Sat on the sofa crying into my coffee while the kids are at school/nursery.

So scary op. I think all parents have a few what if.. moments.
My in laws built a house while I was pregnant, it was finished as dd was a crawling baby. All the windows upstairs are at floor level and open outwards. The first time we slept there, MIl had the internal gallery windows on an upstairs corridor open, and the drop there was onto the concrete floor of the room below. Still freaks me out 13 years later.

Aged about 3, my ds managed to drag my bedroom stool to the open window and climb onto it to 'wave to the birds'. I will never forget that heart stopping moment of walking into the room (I'd been literally gone for a minute) and seeing him standing there. His knees were higher than the sill, so one wobble and he could've been gone. I felt very much as you do now - sick to my very core and I reran it over and over in my mind. I won't lie, it still makes me shudder, but I did manage to put it behind me and thank God it ended how it did. I does happen to the best of us, try and move past it now

In June 2016 when I moved into a new house with my two DDs ages 5 and 8 the first thing I did was get those window restrictors. They are just over £7 on Amazon. It was rented and in December I moved again and immediately put the restrictor on my youngest DDs window again. she just turned 8, sensible and very bright but it takes a second for them or friends to mess about.

2 summers ago there was an incident with a Bristol boy who fell out after shouting hello to his parents from upstairs bedroom window. Horrible fall but made a miraculous recovery. I would urge everyone to get those. It comes with a lock and you can open it for room to get enough air and if you ever need to open it wider for whatever reason when kids aren't there you can just unlock it. on PVC windows it screws in very easily into the frame.

Totally normal reaction that you’re having now. If your mind does go to the what if- complete the thought with the reality of what actually happened. It will pass in time.

I had similar where I was at a fairly new friends house who had two children of 3 and a few months. My two were 4 and 1 at the time. The 4 and 3 year olds went to play in the 3 yo room upstairs, which had a lovely bay window with window seats. 1 yo wanted to play too so I went up with him. The older two were on the window seats and my dd stood up to look out the window. The 3 year old leant past her and opened the window dd was leaning on- it opened up properly like a door. This happened thankfully as I arrived into the room- so I launched forward and grabbed both girls off the window seats so dd didn’t fall out the bloody window. The “friend” came up and asked what happened. I was so shocked I couldn’t even say- I was so angry that she would have no locks on those windows and I had to just leave. I cried all the way home and dd was ... I still have to drive past that house 6 years later and hate it. I never spoke to the friend again and she didn’t even contact me. Bloody weirdo.

Another fan of the window restrictors. You still get a breeze but they can’t open then any further.
I’m even conte paying getting them downstairs as we have three little Houdinis who would be off out into the front garden and down the road to the sweetie shop

OP think most of us would feel exactly the same as you. There but for .......
Hope you feel less teary and upset soon 💐

We've had a few shocks in our time ... one particularly adventurous friend of my daughter's (was probably about 9yrs at the time) was over for a play date. They were out in the garden, I went out to check on them and found her sitting on the roof of our 1 storey outbuilding that has a flat roof. Very happily swinging her legs over the edge, singing. Luckily I managed to get her down safely (my daughter had helped her get up there!). We've had lots of other near misses, like losing our son for about 30mins in the O2 at Disney in Ice (one min he was there, the next he was gone). But it doesn't make us bad parents ... kids are out to test us and you just need to breath a sigh of relief it ended happily. Unless you watch over them 24/7 which is unhealthy for them and you, most parents have tales to tell

When my DS was about 3, he was playing upstairs with his friend while I sat downstairs with DD and friend's dad. The cat was sitting in the garden outside the double doors waiting to be let in and suddenly she looked up. I knew straight away that DS and his friend had opened his bedroom window so friend's dad ran upstairs to find them both looking out, with every chance of falling. Freaked the shit out of me. I was so grateful to the cat (even though she didn't know what she was doing!) - if she hadn't looked up, the first thing we might have known about it was seeing one of them crash onto the concrete. Awful. It hadn't occurred to me at all that they might open the window - it's still locked now, five years later.

omg this has brought back a memory I was about 8 in a group of brothers and sisters who were all hoping that if we ju8mped out of upstairs window we may be able to fly. Someone persuaded the youngest who was about 5 to jump the poor kid broke his leg. My parents probably thought we were sensible at the time.

We once stayed with the in laws in a holiday property in Brighton, it was a 4 story townhouse and we were on the top floor. We'd just arrived and were unpacking and 1yo DD was on the floor in the bedroom with DS who lifted her onto his bed, which was pushed up against the window that he'd opened wide and she was crawling towards. I screamed and caught hold of her as she reached the windowsill. The worst thing was that the bedroom was at the back of the house and overlooked a concrete courtyard that we weren't given access to, we had no keys at all. If she'd fallen, I wouldn't have been able to get to her. It was 5 years ago and it still makes me cry thinking about what could have happened.

Does anyone with window restrictors know if/how much damage they cause to a UPC frame once they are removed?

I live in a rented house and want to put them on my windows (windows are waist high to a child and open from the bottom), and the landlord replied "yes but if damage/marks is caused to the frame in any way, you would be responsible for replacing the frame when you move out". So I either lock the windows all summer and keep them locked with no air in the house, or pay for new window frames on move out. So just wondering if the damage caused by fitting them is small/negligible??

Window lock restrictors are a massive fire risk.

They would put no repairable holes in the plastic. Depending on the type of window you have, there will likely be some option which you can fit to the inside of the window which will still put holes in, but they wouldn’t be visible. www.handlestore.com/r08-window-restrictor

Window lock restrictors are a massive fire risk

They are required by law in many buildings. Managing risks v consequences is key. The risk of someone falling is far more likely than the risk of someone being trapped in a fire. As long as they can be opened easily by an adult the risk is low. We have them, and I am certain I could open them to escape in a hurry. Plus, windows can be smashed.

Poor you, must have been a shock. But no harm done and now you can take steps to make sure it never happens.

Your story brought back horrible memories of a time I took my DD who was almost 5 at the time to the docs. It was pouring down with rain so I drove and parked part on the pavement right outside the surgery. My DD got out of the car pavement side and I told her to run on in so she didn’t get wet while I was grabbing my bag. I was only going to be a few steps behind. We’d been to the docs a few times before so it didn’t even enter my mind that she didn’t know where she was going. All of a sudden she just ran out into the road thinking that the surgery was on the other side She couldn’t see because our car was in the way but there was a car coming and I doubt the car would have stopped in time because the driver wouldn’t have been able to see her behind our car. I just screamed “NO DD!!! I am so so thankful that she stopped on the spot and ran straight back. We were both so shaken up by it and I totally know what you mean by replaying it over and over. I had nightmares for ages with the alternative ending...waking up shaking, clammy and crying. I even had a dream about again a couple of weeks ago and this happened about 2 years ago. But although it was scary and we were both shaken by it, no harm was done and I will never every make a mistake like that again. That’s all you can do. Big hugs to you.

I know my story is not similar to yours at all but it was what you were saying about replaying it over and over and imagining what could have happened

It’s a horrible feeling after a near miss. Earlier in the year my eldest (7) choked on a fucking grape. I’d followed the advice, cut them up until he was six, and there we found ourselves waiting for an ambulance and trying to dislodge the grape. It was terrifying. And it was more than a week before I got my equilibrium back and stopped reliving it/visualising the possible outcomes.

I'm not surprised you're so traumatised, OP, stuff like that is terrifying

I think we've all had those near misses, and like you I tend to dwell on them and replay the 'what if' scenarios over and over. What I've found really helpful is telling myself that 'Because this happened, I will be much more careful in future than I would have been otherwise and so will avoid a much worse accident happening'. Not in an 'everything happens for a reason' sense () but just that, as christina alluded to above, these really scary events ultimately make us better parents. Reframing it as something that has ultimately had a positive effect on my safety awareness, and therefore my children's safety, helps me not to ruminate on it.

When DD was about 2 we were at my friend's house and she was playing with my friend's DD, who was about 5, while we had a brew.

Friend's DD came downstairs, waited politely for a gap in our conversation, then said "excuse me. I just thought you might like to know that DD is hanging out of my bedroom window."

Friend and I rushed upstairs and there is my DD balanced precariously on the windowsill, her head and torso out of the window. One little jolt forwards and she would have gone.

DD is 19 now and I still go cold when I remember seeing her little legs waving in the air!

Agh I feel sick reading that so can't imagine how you felt. Sending all the wine to you

I still re live ds2 making a run for it towards the cliff edge in Cornwall. He ran from the car as I undid DS 1s car seat.
He's 17 now
He also got lost on the beach that year, and I nearly had heart failure darting around in my bikini with tears streaming down my face. Not pleasant for anyone!

Last year we were at this castle and I was having a mild anxiety attack as we walked along the open balcony at the top of this photo. Looked up to see my ds10 and dn11 had climbed up and on top of the turret things on the pic - hard to explain but basically they could have fallen from so high. Managed to get them down and went absolutly mental at them, threw up and couldnt do the visit. It still haunts me and makes me feel sick.. my own fault for not noticing. Awful.