Partner is being indifferent!! Or is it me ?

[Bellacat16]

To start with my fiancé and myself have been through a very stressful period over the last three months. We were involved in an accident and I have sustained life changing injuries as a result.
We are due to get married December this year, however since the accident he has changed ... as I’m sure I have.

I’ve noticed he sleeps downstairs every night, he hardly kisses me, and our sex life has been non existent for obvious reasons due to my inability to be comfortable doing it at the moment.
He will hold my hand indoors and will cuddle me and tells me that he wants to marry me and that if he had been placed in a wheelchair would I have left him ? I said no ... he said well it’s the same !!
I’ve noticed that he’s also making comments about my weight as I know I’m comfort eating due to my hurt and upset regarding my injuries. It’s as though he’s making excuses not to be close to me ... I feel quite rejected. When I mention it he says I’m being very needy, and maybe I am ... but a small part of me can’t help but feel he doesn’t feel the same anymore ? I just wondered if anyone could offer any advice on this situation xx

You have both been through an incredibly traumatic time. I think you should make getting couples therapy a priority.

I’m sorry you have been through a traumatic time.

It’s possible that he is dealing with conflicting emotions. He has the love he had for you before the accident but now has to take on board that the relationship may change as he might have to take on a more caring role for you.

He may also feel guilty if your injuries were more severe than his.

Was the accident either of your fault?

Communication is vital. I think talk of the wedding might add pressure as you both have to now be completely honest with each other as you are not the same as you were before the accident if you have life changing injuries.

He may well also be influenced by family and friends who are worried about him. People do love to stick their oar in.

You should be having counselling anyway after such a traumatic event so that may help both of you communicate with each other if talking at home is difficult.

We are both waiting for counselling which I'm hoping will help. My partner was injured but not as bad and I know he feels guilty that my injuries are worse.

I do think that he's struggling to come to terms with my injuries and the fact that I'm not the person he met, although he says his feelings haven't changed .. I believe his actions speak louder than words, he is very disconnected from me.

I just hope things improve xx