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Original poster

Does anyone have a dad that you think truly would beat up a guy who displeased their daughter?

56 replies

CitrusDreams · 07/04/2019 00:02

Does anyone have a dad that you think truly would beat up a guy who displeased their daughter?

By displeased I mean in the harsher context e.g. men who've dumped the girl, or men who've been a bit creepy, touchy un-wantedly even when told to stop, men who've been bullying the girl etc

Does the father stereotype really hold true in any of your cases or do you think, with few exceptions e.g. very tough ones, gangsters,etc. this isn't really true and there's no way you'd expect him to do it?

By daughter I mean especially if she is an adult daughter.

OP posts:
Bankofenglandfiver · 07/04/2019 09:32

What paper is this for?

Pianobook · 07/04/2019 09:37

Mine wouldn’t but when exh left and was giving me the run around, my dad ‘wanted a word’ with him. He was 75.

Julietee · 07/04/2019 09:54

I think my dad would, or he would hire someone to do the actual violence.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 07/04/2019 09:54

waited for her ex and attacked him one day when he came to pick up his kids.

Please tell me the kids weren’t there?

ShabbyAbby · 07/04/2019 09:55

I know my Dad wouldn't.
Because he also wouldn't stick up for me in any other way. Literally, not one.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 07/04/2019 09:55

Thanks jessaglinda

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/04/2019 10:09

No. And it's a massively sexist trope to perpetuate, the idea that daughters are the property somehow of their fathers who should defend them violently.

Lungelady · 07/04/2019 10:11

No.
And I would have a low opinion of one who did.

ABoozedMoose · 07/04/2019 10:15

No. But I can make something up if it helps your article/book if you want.

exLtEveDallas · 07/04/2019 10:23

Not my dad, but my brother would have, I think.

My older brother died suddenly and tragically. Someone else was involved - that person did time, but not long enough or hard enough.

We weren't told when he was released, but a friend of mine saw him and rang me, shocked. We kept it from my living brother and parents for a couple of months but unfortunately, they found out.

I got to my brother in time. He was outside the bedsit where the scumbag was living. I think if I hadn't turned up he would have attacked him and possibly worse. It was a terrible time for all of us.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 07/04/2019 10:25

My dad doesn't do violence. He does steely stares and that's way more scary.

IntoValhalla · 07/04/2019 11:30

BarrenFieldOfFucks my dad possesses that special skill too.
He never ever raised a hand to me or Dsis - not so much as a smacked bum. All he had to do was the “steely eyed stare of death” and we knew we had fucked up big time. We also knew we were in real trouble if he didn’t shout. He’d shout over the small, naughty things, but if we did anything really bad (like the time I got drunk in a field at 14, staggered home and lied about it), he would go eerily quiet and go down the “I’m so disappointed” route, which was way worse than anger Blush
The first time I ever saw him be violent to anyone was when I was about 10, and some bloke tried to mug my Nana while we were all stood outside my mum’s work waiting for her to be finished! He chased him down the road, knocked him clean out and got my Nana’s handbag back with the help of another bystander!

Original poster
CitrusDreams · 07/04/2019 11:31

Thanks everyone for your detailed and personal stories - I reach each and every one of them. Seems like quite a mixed bag with some very much on the no way side and some you would and seems reflective of upbringing according to some of you. I've always wondered about this stereotype and thought it would be good to explore it here - thanks everyone so far for your insight :)

P.S this is definitely not for a book or article - how absurd.. I don't think I'd buy or read a book that was full of content written by anonymous people off the internet anyway so very odd suggestion.

OP posts:
Original poster
CitrusDreams · 07/04/2019 11:32

@IntoValhalla Ah awesome, good for him not letting thieves get away with it!

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 07/04/2019 11:36

No, but my Dad who was the quietest mildest mannered man in the world once punched a man who was harrassing my mother.

We were all quite shocked, I think including my Dad.

So maybe I'd have to put him down as a possible.

lucy101101 · 07/04/2019 11:38

thornyhousewife

Honestly, his influence was a huge positive formative experience for me and I always felt safe and able to take risks. I have extremely strong expectations of men in my life and haven't tolerated any attempt at abuse of me

This is very much my experience of having a working class, tough (not with me) father. My life is very different to his, people now assume I come from a very different background... but I hope my daughter has the same sense of freedom and bravery and absolute belief that men should treat her respectfully.

YAmILikeDis · 07/04/2019 11:45

My Dad is as mild mannered as they come. Absolutely nothing even irritates him let alone makes him angry (not even my arsehole teen years).

However. My then boyfriend attacked me one night. My phone was in my back pocket and I can only assume that as my ex slammed me against the wall by my throat (actually lifted me off my feet, I’m 5’ and was about 6.5 stone at the time and he was 6’4) that I butt dialled him.

By the time my Dad got to my house, I was a mess. On the floor in a heap and he was booting me. My Dad is a short 5’8 and also small framed but he managed to launch him off me and through the patio doors Shock There was glass everywhere. Stood over him, grabbed him by the neck and said something to him. I don’t know what, he said it very quietly and I was in a state. I’ve never asked him what he said.

Then he took me to A&E to be checked over, and moved me back in with him.

Didn’t see the boyfriend again till years later, and he looked at me like he’d seen a ghost.

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/04/2019 11:49

I think there's a massive difference between what a father would do when directly witnessing a man assaulting his daughter (or son) compared to what they might do after being told of their daughter being treated badly but not assaulted. I think nearly all parents would leap in to defend their child against physical attack.

cheesenpickles · 07/04/2019 11:53

My husband def would.

AnnaMagnani · 07/04/2019 11:58

@AssassinatedBeauty absolutely

My v sweet dad was safe in the knowledge he was taller than almost everyone he met. So although he was a great softy, he had probably never had the experience of feeling scared by someone physically.

Seeing my mum actively threatened, he didn't feel scared at all and just threw a right hook.

Myothername1 · 07/04/2019 12:08

When I was a very small child, preschool age I was sexually molested by male relative who was about 10 years older than me, this happened over a period of several years
When my dad found out he didn't really react much he just said that in his opinion it wouldn't be right to go to the police about this because it would be unfair to cause problems for this man because he has a family now

That's how protective my dad is 😥

QueenBeex · 07/04/2019 12:16

Nope, my dad definitely wouldn't beat up anyone.

TowelNumber42 · 07/04/2019 12:24

Mine is from a rough background. He can diffuse situations easily by appearing quietly threatening Tony Soprano style. He is physically strong, looks it, and would definitely intervene if someone put a hand on me. Anything short of that and he has been clear he'd expect me to deal with the offender harshly, erring on the side of too harsh, telling me as a teenager "He's got to be afraid of you not me"

GregoryPeckingDuck · 07/04/2019 12:28

My father is not even remotely like that. The man knits for his main hobby. The worst I could imagine him doing in that situation is being very to the man in question (although to be fair that is quite frightening).

MsAwesomeDragon · 07/04/2019 12:40

My dad is the most gentle man I've ever met. There's no way he'd beat anyone up, ever. If any man was truly vile to me he'd spend all his energy in caring for me and helping me recover from any trauma.

When I split with a useless bf when pg, he didn't go after the bf, he made a nice welcoming bedroom for me and the baby in their house. He did childcare so I could go to uni. Those things were of infinitely more use than him going after the bf, how would that have helped me?

When my sister finally left her abusive marriage, again our dad provided practical help. He didn't try to make life difficult for the exh. He helped sis move house, he paid for counseling for her, he helped get benefits sorted, etc. Practical help to get sis sorted, putting his energy into things that will actually make a difference to her life, rather than expending energy on making her ex's life difficult. He's still the father of my nieces, so will be in sis's life for at least another 10 years, it's not helpful for things to be even more acrimonious than they already were.